Sex whilst chatting

[Pigeonpoodle]

My DP and I do this all the time… Sex often isn’t all about focussed on the “finishing line”, but just about closeness. We’ll often lazily have PIV sex in bed whilst just chatting about crap. It’s great and we find it very bonding!

But is this unusual? I feel like sex is seen by most people as very goal-oriented, and all about pumping away until orgasm.

Btw, we do have sex a lot, and are very comfortable around each other’s naked body…. And we do also have plenty of energetic shagging too with orgasms.

Each to their own I guess, but personally if someone starts talking to me about the weather, work, or crap whilst having sex I don't think I will get to the finish line, nor enjoy it. Glad it's working for you though.

Yes, but we’re not making sex all about the “finishing line”… Maybe that’s unusual - hence the thread. We do still have sex where we do orgasm, just not every time. Sometimes we just want the closeness even if we’re not especially horny.

I think there is a fine line between relaxed, gentle connected sex (which is lovely) and having your mind elsewhere. There’s moaning about your day and telling your partner how much you need and appreciate the comfort from their touch.

Our chats when we have sex are fun and lighthearted, and are bonding. We don’t use it as a time for routine stuff like who’s doing the shopping tomorrow, or moaning about things or bringing up difficult issues.

I mean I'm sure you can do that, whilst cuddling up, spooning etc, he doesn't need to be inside you and thrusting away.

No, but why not if we both enjoy it? And there’s no “thrusting”, just gentle intercourse… we save the thrusting for other times.

@Pigeonpoodle ,
sounds lovely to me, enjoy yourselves.

No hate here, but this is genuinely odd to me - I want to focus on giving pleasure, and the pleasure I am receiving, the curves, the taste, the touch, the sounds, and I do not care about the weather, or any new joke, the fact that the latest episode of whatever series came out, nor what Vanessa said at work... If I have to think about about any of the above, why would I maintain my erection? I don't want to be in a horny state while we talk about the weird haircut the neighbour gave its poodle...haha. To me, sex is special because that is the most special quality time, it is just ours, the entirety of the outside world is excluded... Maybe that's why I can't see it. Now lying around naked, cuddling up and talking after or instead of it? Yeah, that is a given..

I never thought of doing this. It’s multitasking. I’m going to give it a go.

I agree with himself 😊

Yes OP, my boyfriend and I used to do this.. We didn't live together so when we saw each other we would want to be as close as possible for as much time as possible. Clearly energetic shagging for 48 hours wasn't possible, but if we were cuddled in bed chatting and there was an erection, why not (I cannot think of a better way of putting this) just pop it in? 😂

Loved going to sleep with him spooning me with his cock in me too. My favourite thing was to go to sleep with him talking to me so both together would be lovely.

That sounds like how we are… And we sometimes spoon to sleep too. Erections can come or go (and they go when we’re drifting to sleep)…it doesn’t matter - it’s not a performance… but the less pressure there is to perform, the longer and harder the erections are in my experience.

Weird AF.

It wouldn't be for me at all, I like it to be passionate and focus on what we're doing.

I think the confusion for me is around arousal. You need to be aroused to engage in sex and when you’re aroused you want to finish 😆

Wouldn’t do anything for me.

It's not either or. It's as well as.

Sometimes just enjoying the arousal is enough. Sometimes you've already come once or twice or five times that day but you still want intimacy and closeness.

Sex isn't just one thing to all people.

Talking about going to buy a pair of googles for my son's swimming lesson isn't a topic I want to focus on while I'm riding my husband's penis. But I get that we're all different.

I don’t want to think about shopping or mundane chores whilst I’m aroused. But whatever does it for you!

What about when you get turned on in Sainsbury's?

Generally not riding, that wouldn't fit the vibe at all! I've just spent too long (about 5 minutes) trying to find an illustration of the position that comes to mind - man on his side slightly angled towards the woman, woman on her back angled towards him with legs over his hip. Very lazy. Close, plenty of scope for touching each other, looking into each other's happy faces ...

Yes, we do this 👆 . It’s very enjoyable

When we're having sex the wife often comments the ceiling needs painting 🤔

does your DP not need to be aroused to have an erection? And surely if he’s aroused to the extent of being hard, he doesn’t want to put his penis inside you then lie still and engage in non-sexual chat? 🤯