Do women really enjoy penetration?

[Misosoup2]

As time has gone on I've started to really think about my sexuality. Doing so has made me realise I do NOT like penetration. Yes, it's nice for about 5 minutes but anything after that becomes boring and usually ends up leaving me feeling tender or painful down there afterwards. I, like many women on the planet, cannot finish through penetration. I wouldn't even say it's pleasurable as the vaginal canal doesn't even have any nerves! If I was to list a few reasons as to why I feel like this it would be:

I can't be bothered with the aftermath of going to the toilet/clean up/making sure I don't get a UTI

Thrush and UTI risks.

Pregnancy

It genuinely doesn't feel like much

It doesn't turn me on or do anything for me? Just feels like a lot of friction/pressure

It actually feels very intrusive

Maybe I'm the only one who feels entirely disconnected to my vagina but after years and years of just constantly thinking sex wasn't sex unless it included penetration i'm now starting to realise how male orientated the actual act is and how unimportant it is in the grand scheme of sex. There is so much more to sex than penetration and I feel like all over sexual possibilities gets lost in the male desire to climax. Surely I'm not the only one who feels it's massively overhyped??

I really like it and can’t wait to get to it.

It does not need to be painful - if it is, something isn’t right.

Have you tried to either extend foreplay to ensure you are wet enough or use lube?

Of all the things on the menu it's the one I could live without! I haven't had sex with a man in years now and I don't miss PIV at all. Penetration with a female partner is very different, it's centered on the pleasure of person receiving for a start and is usually an optional addition to the main event, not the main event itself!

@TasteOfHerCherryChapstick this is how I feel about it. It just feels like a very male orientated act and one sided. Maybe I feel that way because 99% of the time once PIV happens and the guys I'm with climax that's a game over. Then usually I'm left unsatisfied and frustrated, having to go begrudgingly go to a bathroom to sort myself out whilst he rolls over and falls asleep.

I just don't feel like it offers much to us as women. I get it may make people feel a sense of closeness but to be honest having someone go down on me feels a LOT more intimate rather than being rammed.

@LiveToTell it's not that I'm necessarily in pain but I just usually feel raw down there, if that makes sense. Like I have a bad friction burn and usually it's uncomfortable. It will settle once I go to sleep and wake up the next day. I just don't like that feeling.

@mbonfield I have to use lube but really it doesn't stop things still feeling quite quite tight feeling, sorry for the tmi.

I don’t feel satisfied without it, although it’s a very different flavour of pleasure than clitoral stimulation leading to orgasm. It’s comforting and makes me feel connected to my partner. It’s the difference between having sex and masturbation.

@NinaOakley that's fair, out of interest why do you feel piv is the difference between sex and masturbating but then recieving oral isn't?

Surely sex is just about doing sexual things with another person whereas masturbation is the act solo

Both penetration and oral can be as connecting and give the other person a feeling of closeness

I think if nothing else you’ve only ever experienced selfish partners. Plus not enough lube or foreplay

It’s something I can’t simulate for myself with toys, at least not fully; as well as the full, comforting feeling there’s the weight of my partner, his breath, stubble-(sorry, getting a bit corny romance novel) being connected to him as well as…serviced?

Yes, I enjoy it. Very much. Although I don't orgasm from it alone, I find penetration along with clitoral stimulation is far better than clitoral alone. Not sure why you don't think there are nerves in the vaginal canal? There definitely are?
It definitely sounds like you don't get the pleasurable sensation for some reason, but it's definitely there for plenty of us!

It's the best thing about sex imo. I just love it.

Missionary is my favourite. I love being close to my partner and feeling his weight on me.

It's the quickest way to make me orgasm. Several times. Oral just isn't the same.

Nothing like a bedtime Sunday morning into afternoon lazy TV watching, piv as the mood takes you, regaining your energy and going again. Repeatedly.

Yes, find the faffing around beforehand a bit irritating tbh

@ForCraftyWriter I think you are right... I have had a lifetime of guys who didn't even pay any attention to my body or pleasure so I ended up neglecting myself as well. It's only now that I'm starting to realise there is a give and take about sex and that my pleasure does matter. I'm starting to advocate for it but dh confuses me as he knows my history with sex and says he cares about my satisfaction but then he woud always have PIV with me, finish and then go to sleep.

It makes me feel really dejected and used. I've told him all this and he always acts mortified and assures me it's not what he wants.....but then will finish and never attend to me.

I think there's too many men out there that are happy to get their socks off through PIV and call it a day. I much rather the focus just not be on it at all anymore, especially when it really is so underwhelming.

Well, I always take my socks off beforehand.

It's sometimes fun to leave them on though. Mix things up a bit.

The closeness and warmth during penetration make it feel special and lovely, but male centred attitudes to sex throughout history have very much made it a single goal. This diminishes the inappropriately named “foreplay” as something of a lesser importance.

l don’t climax from penetration alone. Likewise, lesbians don’t have anything comparable and seem to do very well in the satisfaction stakes.

l feel the emphasis should be based on what goes on before insertion and enjoying the afterglow. And, l’ve said it before and been criticised for it, but l’ll say it again, no oral, no entry!

@StarlightLady love that motto!! I'm going to implement this moving forward

@Misosoup2
Maybe PIV is just not your thing it it does sound like it’s related to some selfish lovers .
. Regarding the lube did you try different types? A really good quality silicone lube maybe worth trying and something like uber lube is good for oral if it doesn’t improve the sensation for piv.

I’ve been called names on here for it.

Sexual practice should be a journey of discovery and learning. As a man in his 40s I have always been keen to make sure that my sexual partner achieves a PIV orgasm. Its not an ego thing but realisation when that is achieved that increases her pleasure and crucially increases likelihood that she would want to have sex with me again. If that is not happening for whatever reason then oral becomes the go to. Here is what I have found to work for me to ensure my sexual partners in the past and present achieve PIV orgasm majority of the time:

1. Expect to penetrate for 20 mins so no premature ejaculation or losing erection. Be in the moment.
2. Penal thrusting needs to match the womans rhythm e.g. slow at start listening to her breath and watching out for body language cues like grabbing your hand or back etc
3. Varying depth and angle of penis penetration. Its not about just jack rabbit and not matching the sexual partners rhythm. Kissing can be used to take mind away from penal stimulation and prevent early ejaculation.
4. When a woman is about to have an orgasm that is when you must thrust deep and fast and dont stop. The surprise is she just might have not one but two orgasms in succession.
5. If timed well just as she is starting coming down that peak of orgasm then the man can have his orgasm. Worse case you can still be finished off by blow job etc

Lessons learned are important with the passage of time and experience.

Isn't MN a bizarre place sometimes? Called names? Wow 🤦🏻‍♀️

If an element of sex is really important to you, why on earth would you not say no to people who will not do that?

I mean if its a decent size it's very pleasurable 🤣

My general stance is, I come first, because frankly it's probably not happening if the guy comes first! Oral first always. Both parties need a mindset of giving pleasure. Different positions for different sizes and shapes.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Pure Swiss Toni on the Fast Show.....