First O and sexuality

[YourCosyPino]

I’m a woman in my 20s and recently had an unexpected sexual experience with an older woman (early 50s) that’s left me thinking.

We met at a party during a ski trip in the south of France. Nothing was planned or initiated at first, but one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together.

It was my first time with a woman, and also the first time I’ve ever had an orgasm, despite previously being in a long-term relationship with a man.

The experience felt very natural, sensual and safe, and she was very attentive. Now that I’ve had time to reflect, I’m wondering what it means for me.

It makes me wondering now whether I should explore my sexuality more? Has anyone had a similar experience later than expected, and how did you process it?

I think your orgasm says more about your partners' experience than anything about you. A 50 something woman will be far more adept and knowledgeable when it comes to orgasms than most 20 something men. Especially if she has had sex with other women (plural) and the 20 something man has been in a long term monogamous relationship.

Same sex relationships are becoming far more accepted, especially FF. Younger women are feeling less constrained by the perception of established norms and, anecdotally, a number of middleaged (divorced?) women are apparently looking to explore sexual pleasure in that context. And like it or not, younger people are typically viewed as more sexually attractive, especially as the rest of us age. If a 50 something man had sex with a 20 something woman on holiday, there would be cries of predation, abuse, patriarchy and midlife crisis.

So, choose and judge your sexual partners on the basis of who they are and how much you are attracted to them, rather than by what genitals they have, and outwith the context of societal tides.

You can’t base it just on the fact she gave you an orgasm. I could sleep with anyone for an orgasm doesn’t mean I’m gay.!

Well, congratulations. Sounds like a good time was had all round. Which is what sex should be about in my opinion. I started my journey fancying boys and men as a teenager, many of whom seemed to have taken Johnny Rotten's 'two muutes of squelching noises' as an instruction rather than as satire. Fortunately, I had a longer term relationhship with an older man who was much better, and in my 20s at university found myself growing close to another woman. In this case intimacy was very delicate, sensual and unhurried - quite the banquet, in fact.
Later on (I'm in my early 40s now) I've enjoyed physical relationships with other women, and the boot has been on the other foot, in that they've said I'm their first same sex encounter. For some people at least desire, sexuality and orgasmic capacity seems to be rather fluid and contingent. Life's rich tapestry and all that!

Well it doesn’t sound like she’s straight either.
I’d clamp up tight if a woman touched me (I’m a woman). There’s no way I could be in any way turned on to achieve orgasm with a woman. I only have to think about sex with a man and I’m halfway there.

I think if you’re curious OP, there’s no harm in exploring further. You might find something wonderful (and satisfying).

Good luck. 😊

There's no harm in experimenting if that's what you want to do. And no need to label it. Sexuality is very complex and might not always be clear cut at any age. Also have you never orgasmed on your own?

@YourCosyPino have you seen this Thread?
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/5456243-suddenly-wondering-about-my-sexuality-at-51?page=2
It does cover some of the common thoughts that women have to do with same sex encounters.
It makes a nice read on a winter afternoon if by yourself.