Need to spice things up.....no idea where to start

[HeartyGoose]

Looking for some constructive advice here! Loving relationship with DH, all good on that front, but he recently confessed that our sex life has become a bit repetitive. He's not wrong and I'm glad he's had the honesty to bring it up (I probably wouldn't). He wants to put the time in to explore more, find different things we like. Great. But here's the thing...I have no idea where to start. He's mentioned things that I would never have ever entertained but I'm willing to give things a go. He asks me what I would like to do differently but I honestly have no idea. I've read so many posts on here about domination/fetishes etc but the thought of me following any of the advice/suggestions makes me cringe...not in any judgmental way, I think I just feel too vanilla/embarrassed. The whole thing is starting to make me feel under pressure now (not from him, more just how my mind works. Argh). Anyway, long story short - any advice on how I approach this? Any tips to ease me in?

Taking a bath or shower together. Sexting each other at work or when you're away.

I remember in the 90s with my first wife, we played a sex-themed board game. That was a lot of fun with a few glasses of wine!

Maybe have a look on Love Honey or Ann Summers to get you started.

Or a weekend away from the crowds and a few glass's of wine.

What has he mentioned? If you're willing to give them a go, then surely that's the place to start imo.

Or do neither of you know where to start?

Another vote for sexting

Google yes no maybe lists or apps (apps are good because you can only see whatever you've both said yes to, and won't be haunted by the weirdest thing the other one said yes to!).

Each write a few things down on pieces of paper and put them in a hat (other receptacles are also available 😁) and take it in turn to pick one out whenever you're feeling in the mood. They don't have to be big things, just anything that could be incorporated.

Make a commitment to spend more non-sex time talking together if you don't already. Again, doesn't have to be much, but sometimes when evenings are busy, even a 5 minute chat on the sofa might not happen naturally, and can help connect you again.

What specifically has he mentioned?

Domination, for example, has this image of leather and whips etc but it could be as simple as you taking charge and dictating the play.

Google Mojo Upgrade. A quiz for couples that you do separately. Do it honestly and you can see where you are compatible and go from there.

The main word that stood out for me was "embarrassed" and I've seen a few examples of confidence shot to bits because either of an unkind partner, or the corrosive effect of being frequently rejected. This then means you don't especially feel like trying and it erodes that sense of something you can share wholly with another person.

It might not work in your case, but this thread appeared earlier this month - if you both have the will, but can't face the cringe of setting out things the other won't appreciate, this thread might be a place to start?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/5472199-sex-quizzes-for-you-and-partner

Those quizzes are, I think, great to find out things about each other you’d not known or realised or even a like (or kink) that may have surfaced more recently.
i would say with them though try to be open, brave and even adventurous in your answers. I did one recently with my wife, who was keen, but ultimately I just got back a lot of ‘maybes’ which I found a bit disheartening.

I agree with most of the above. With tge addition of noting you mentioned "domination/fetishes." There are plenty of ways to have a great, fulfilling sex life without venturing near kink.
Perhaps you just need to start again from scratch - spend time without havibg sex as a conscious reset, and then start to re-learn each other.

Maybe start with the basics, massage, mutual masturbation - touching but no sex ?

just get to know each other again

If you want to explore what might work for you, but face the problem of "unknown unknowns", try OMGYES.