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The best s*x I ever had

59 replies

Neetee · 19/12/2025 08:46

I have only ever been with DH so nothing to compare to.

Recently I was speaking to a work colleague who was telling me about an ex gf and said it was the best s*x he ever had. I also heard other people mention something similar.

What does this actually mean? How can one be better than another? More positions? More energy?

I mean if you love someone, surely that’s the best s*x?

OP posts:
bluedabadeedabadoo · 07/01/2026 10:43

I’m currently having the best sex I’ve ever had at 41 with someone I’ve only just started dating and my mind is blown that sex (especially first time sex) can be this good.
For me it is about:
-The sexual chemistry.
-knowing before hand how much we want each other.
-having shared with each other likes and desires so both making effort to match that from the off.
-sexual energy and libido matching (I don’t feel like a sex pest due to my high sex drive)
-openness about sex and ability to discuss it.
-other persons confidence during sex.
-other persons desire to pleasure me and how much they enjoy seeing me enjoy myself.

The orgasms we’re intense but not the most intense I’ve ever had and the strange thing is that PIV didn’t even work well due to condom issues so for me it isn’t even about the best orgasm or PIV of my life!

Keepnkeepingon · 07/01/2026 12:01

For me the “best sex you have ever had” question is a bit like what’s the best day of your life you’re life” question.

There are far too many variables for me to nail it down to a specific time or person. Obviously if you’ve only had one partner that reduces the variables but as one poster said you can have vastly different sex with the same person depending on the moment/circumstances.

If your enjoying the sex your having then I suppose it’s irrelevant what anyone else thinks. If you had previously had some amazing sex and sex with DH wasn’t great as you read many times on here then that also could be a problem.

You can’t account for chemistry but I do believe you can improve your “abilities”if you wanted to.Not that you need to if you’re happy. However if the conversation with your work friend has got you thinking then why not lean into seeing what’s possible?

NDerbys32 · 08/01/2026 07:54

Long time married here. Our best sex was due to where we were at the time. Mind blowingly hot and just in the moment

StarlightLady · 08/01/2026 10:31

I would have thought the first step towards a healthy sex life would be able to use the word “sex” with confidence.

exhaustDAD · 08/01/2026 10:52

I would echo what @Keepnkeepingon described above, very accurate. There are way too many variables of all kinds that account for what 'best sex ever' means to people. It is not as simple as being in love, or not as simple as this specific person or that one. For example, I know for a fact (as we openly talk) that I am my wife's 'best sex ever', not being full of myself here, she only ever had one partner before me back in university years who was not mature enough to care about the woman's pleasure. But, as a contrast, if I had to make the argument, I am pretty sure I am also her 'worst sex ever', too. How does that add up? circumstances. I remember an occasion about a decade ago, where we were in a rush, I just took a shower, and brushed my teeth with a very strong, minty toothpaste that I did not rinse out of my mouth too well, and as I went down on her, it started stinging her, causing her a burning sensation and discomfort. Contrasting that, I know what she loves and generally make her have a longer, more intense orgasm through penetration and then a second one with my tongue, and she absolutely loves the combination. See? worst and best, and yet, it's the same person. And that's just my own personal experience through the lens of the question.

Chemistry is definitely a big connective tissue here, but so many other things go in the mix, as well...

To be frank, improving abilities I think has not too much to with it all. And while I think "best sex ever" is just very vague, exploring different things together what you could enjoy is a fun thing to do... potentially finding something that makes it an even better experience for you, or both of you..

NDerbys32 · 08/01/2026 12:30

exhaustDAD · 08/01/2026 10:52

I would echo what @Keepnkeepingon described above, very accurate. There are way too many variables of all kinds that account for what 'best sex ever' means to people. It is not as simple as being in love, or not as simple as this specific person or that one. For example, I know for a fact (as we openly talk) that I am my wife's 'best sex ever', not being full of myself here, she only ever had one partner before me back in university years who was not mature enough to care about the woman's pleasure. But, as a contrast, if I had to make the argument, I am pretty sure I am also her 'worst sex ever', too. How does that add up? circumstances. I remember an occasion about a decade ago, where we were in a rush, I just took a shower, and brushed my teeth with a very strong, minty toothpaste that I did not rinse out of my mouth too well, and as I went down on her, it started stinging her, causing her a burning sensation and discomfort. Contrasting that, I know what she loves and generally make her have a longer, more intense orgasm through penetration and then a second one with my tongue, and she absolutely loves the combination. See? worst and best, and yet, it's the same person. And that's just my own personal experience through the lens of the question.

Chemistry is definitely a big connective tissue here, but so many other things go in the mix, as well...

To be frank, improving abilities I think has not too much to with it all. And while I think "best sex ever" is just very vague, exploring different things together what you could enjoy is a fun thing to do... potentially finding something that makes it an even better experience for you, or both of you..

Great post mate!

AltitudeCheck · 08/01/2026 12:54

It's how well you match with someone.

My 'best' is the person who matched my needs for connection, liked the same things I did, at a particular time in my life and the communication was easy.

Best sex doesn't always correlate with them being your best person though... I've had exciting sex with throughly unpleasant people and the person I love most in the world isn't my best sex in my life (although I don't ever tell them that)

GentlemanJay · 08/01/2026 18:39

I’ve recently had the best sex of my life and the worst sex of my life a couple of weeks apart. Not with the same person. Sometimes it just kind of works for you both.

bobmcbobb · 08/01/2026 23:58

Neetee · 19/12/2025 08:46

I have only ever been with DH so nothing to compare to.

Recently I was speaking to a work colleague who was telling me about an ex gf and said it was the best s*x he ever had. I also heard other people mention something similar.

What does this actually mean? How can one be better than another? More positions? More energy?

I mean if you love someone, surely that’s the best s*x?

My wife is the best sex I ever had. It's not even close. All the women I dated before were open to sex. Enjoyed it a bit. They were down. My wife, she is so passionate. She owned sex toys before I even met her. She loves sex. She really enjoys it. And it's so good feeling her whole body tense up when she orgasms. She's the best sex because she loves it, and because she really wants it and enjoys doing it. And she's also the best because she actually, truly, wants me to enjoy it too. She tries hard to make me come during sex. I've never had that in a partner before. So maybe you can't be "the best", but you can be pretty good. But to be the best, you'd have to actually really love sex, and want it, and really enjoy it when you get it. And want your partner to love it too. That's how you be the best.

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