Intense sexual attraction

[Chicken2025]

Hi
I've worked at my current company for nearly10 years and when i started there was a guy who i found really intelligent and attractive but did nothing. There was always some chemistry but i never acted on it.
Fast forward to now, i now work very closely with him. We're both massive nerds and he's softly spoken, gentle and so similar to me. Physically he's not typically handsome and he's my height. But we both have developed this intense intoxicating sexual attraction. We went out with work and both of us were nervous wrecks trying to hold it together but it's just electric. I don't know what to do. I want him so badly and i know he does too. It's unsaid but so powerful.

Has anyone else experienced this and what happened? What do I do? I can't stop thinking about him.

What’s the problem? Are you both single? Why not act on it?

Shag him if you're single. Don't shag him if you're in a relationship.

Has anyone else experienced this? Of course we all do! Have you never experienced this before?

No you are the first person to experience an intense sexual attraction to someone, lol. If you both like each other, why don't you make the first move? Ask him out?

In all my adult years I've never had it happen. Yes I'm married. Been married for 7 years. 2 young children. Have only had sex less than 20 times with my husband in all those years. I feel a bit lot in all this. Come from a JW background.

Ok, that's a lot of context!

I feel like this might be better in relationships because you need to decide what you want from your marriage first.

Would you be able to see a counsellor? I feel like there's a lot to unpick here. Or do you have a trusted friend who you could be honest with, and would be honest with you?

Don't act on anything with the work guy (the unsaid feelings might even be just one sided) because it sounds like that would precipitate chaos, which you don't want if you're working closely with him.

I don't think i trust anyone to discuss this with them. Husband and i sleep in different beds. He's emotionally abusive but I've blocked him off. I'm sure he's had affairs. I don't plan to do anything with this guy. The way he looks at me drives me crazy and i cant focus on work. Part of me enjoys it cos it feels so good but i work with him. I will seek out a counsellor

He's a good father and thats why we're still together. Children are very young still

A key part of being a good father is creating a home (with your partner) where everyone feels cherished and safe. If a man is emotionally abusing his wife, he is not a good father.

Are you both single??Just go for it then or is it because ye work together?

OK, so you’re married. So don’t be THAT person and have an affair. It’s disgusting and you’ll be the bad guy, no matter what state your marriage is in.

you need to sit down with your husband and tell him you’re unhappy in your marriage and you want a divorce. And then follow through with it.

Then, and only then, are you free to make a move on the guy at work.

Oh please. Get a fkn grip

leave your husband if you’re relationship is abusive.

All the “electric” feelings are only intensified by the fact that you aren’t in a position to act upon it. In reality if you were both single you’d prob shag him a few times and that’s it.

Two options - you do not act on it, continue with your marriage for your children’s sake and accept a marriage without attraction OR separate from your husband and act on it and see what happens.

You need to leave your marriage. If he’s emotionally abusive then he is absolutely not a good father. How can you separate it out like that? He’s abusive to his children’s mother which by its very definition means he’s harming them.
Of course it’s normal to have sexual attraction to someone. But you need to focus your energies on getting out of your marriage and then who knows? Maybe there is a chance of something with this guy in the future.

Leave your husband. He is not a great father if he's abusive to you and he will start to be towards his kids in time.

100% agree!! People just see "kids" but it's an entire household they are growing up in and despite people thinking staying for the kids is best, it isn't.
My youngest Step-daughter is nearly 19, been with her dad nearly 12yrs and shes literally said today that seeing our healthy relationship built on love and equality has made her see how life can and should be in a relationship.

Please do what’s right for you. You only live once and being in an unhappy home is not good for you or the kids. Start the new year afresh. Once you are separated see how you feel about this person then. Look after number 1.

This lol 😂 no other replies needed

Have you left the cult or are you still in JW?

I shagged them all

Tell your husband you want to be separated from them, then shag away guilt free!

Just being nosy as I love a good love story, have you and the work guy spoken about this?

Also, its super scary to make such a big change, but think.of the alternative. Staying in a loveless marriage for ever? Sheesh, get yourself outta that, even if nothing comes from the work guy. Best of luck to you ❤️

Has anyone else experienced intense sexual attraction with someone who also feels it?
What kind of question is that 😂😂

Ok I've just read that you're married. You need to consider whether that's what you really want or not. And do not act on anything until you have made your decision and dealt with it.
You deserve to be happy, but you can't hurt other people in the process.
Sex less than 20 times in 7 years? Why doesn't your husband want sex? Have you ever discussed this with him?

Yes I was exactly here. 10years of being insanely attracted to a co-worker, whilst stuck in a marriage with an emotionally abusive husband (who had numerous affairs) and small children. Said co-worker was also married, but there was tangible electricity between us- and we weren’t the only ones who noticed. We both have quite senior roles at work and both have strong conscious’s, so never acted on it….until this year.

At the beginning of 2025, I plucked up the courage to tell him how I felt and he confirmed he felt the same. We talked a few times and both left our marriages. In the summer, we started a new journey together and I have never been happier in my life. We both treat each other so well and the sex is unbelievable.

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes, what you feel is real, you feel it for a reason and if that’s true for both, you should explore it. If I hadn’t, I’d still be stuck, miserable and wondering. It’s been difficult, but I have no regrets. Go for it!

This is sad. Sounds like you settled and are not in love. 100% you need a divorce anyway regardless of this. Your story is how I met my DH. 10 years later and I haven’t ever thought of anyone else since, even with usual married couple stuff. However it may or may not happen for you, it doesn’t matter, worth giving it a shot.

This doesn't get said often enough. Children thrive in a happy home and small children depend very much on their mothers. Abusing their mum is abusing them.