What’s your true body count? And are you honest?

[Gambino1726]

Recently the topic of body count came up with friends. Most of my friends, married said they were sub 10, I have one or two friends, who admitted they were in treble figures, married ones were honest with their partners, whereas us single ladies admitted we were lowering the number if a guy asked.

what are people’s true number and are you honest when/if a guy asks?

I would probably not be honest if a guy asked, as I don’t want that judgement.

If they ask, I walk away!

For me it's 14 - both men and women.
All in about a 6 year period between sex with my first partner and meeting my now-DH.
Some of it was lovely. Some of it was fun. Some was in the context of relationships and some were one night stands. Some of it was horrible. One time wasn't consensual.
The phrase 'body count' is so awful - cold and dehumanising and doesn't reflect the diversity of what those experiences mean to me.
Anyone who judges me for it or sees me as worth less as a result is not someone I'd be interested in being with. Even a partner asking is immature and a sign of possible trouble in my opinion, although obviously the context and tone of the question is all-important.
Society still has these misogynistic double standards however and I wouldn't judge other women for playing their numbers down as sadly some guys will have been conditioned to feel insecure or to see women as 'less' and we all have to live in the world we live in.

a) Who the hell (that is important) cares?
b) "Body Count" really? Relationships aren't a video game

I genuinely don’t know. I could guess (around 20?) but I couldn’t be specific about every single person/encounter. How do the people in the hundreds (like your 2 friends) possibly know that without writing it down 😂

I took great delight as a teen knowing I'd snogged over 300 men.

But that was as a teen. And just snogging. I'm very honest about that, as it's funny.

I'm honest about how many people I've had sex with too, although I can't remember the last time I was asked.

What's the reason behind needing to know randoms from the Internets' body count when you have no idea who they are?

Honestly have no idea, apart from somewhere over 20. These were relationships, flings and ONS.

If it came up in a conversation, that's as honest as I could be. I wouldn't ever ask just out of the blue, and to be honest I really wouldn't care what a woman I was seeing or having a relationship with had done before me.

Sometimes history might come up in conversation, but its largely irrelevant I think. I certainly don't know everything about DWs sexual history, and she doesnt know all of mine.

The only time it might be relevant, is if someone had only been with one person, say after marrying their first and they were nervous about sleeping with someone who had slept with lots of people, and only then if that person brought it up themselves. But that might come about as part of a more general conversation about likes, dislikes and expectations in bed.

20,000

I reckon I win this thread. Or lose-

2, if you include oral.

I have no idea. Maybe over 30. Men and women. I'm not sure who even counts - with men it's PIV - what about women? If oral/fingers counts as sleeping with a woman, does it count with a man when "counting bodies" - if so my numbers are higher.

i am not ashamed at all, some of it I regret but it's all part of my history.

My partner and I didn't think to have the conversation I until I mentioned it about 2 years in, I think he was a bit shocked with my number. I don't know how many he has slept with but I would guess less than 10.

I would never be dishonest about it and if someone had a problem with my history they would be free to leave.

I’m 1 on both counts.

Whilst I couldn't give you an exact number, I know it's around a dozen. But I could give you the names of all but one and tell you plenty about them, even that single one night stand, because I was just as interested in them as people as I was attracted to them.
I suspect my current partner has had sex with more, and I'm absolutely fine with that. To a certain extent, I'm interested; not in a prurient way, but rather because it potentially tells me about her attitudes to sex, and knowing about her experiences helps me contextualise the sex we have with eachother. The more I understand about her past (or as much of it as she's comfortable sharing), the more I know where to tread carefully and where to he brave.

Where the out-dated stereotype of women who have had lots of partners is negative, and whilst there may well be a stud culture amongst some male demograhics, amongst my male friends you'd get shot down pretty bloody quickly if you started bragging abiut your "body count". And I'd expect women to have a pretty low opinion of any man who was running out of bedpost to cut notches in. So I think it's not quite as gender polarised as some social narratives suggest.

I’m intrigued @IHE you can’t count them but you can name them (except one)? How does that work 😂

One for me (well, 2, but the second one I try to block from my memory so he doesn’t actually exist).

So, one 😁

I couldn't give you an exact number off the top of my head because I've never bothered to count the names. The number has never been important to me. If a partner really wanted to know how many, I could work it out for her (possibly even in spreadsheet form 😲) but until then, I dont feel the need.

I used to count but now my memory of decades ago is hazy and I'm sure I would forget some. I'd hazard a guess at around 50, men and women, although as someone upthread mentioned it depends how you define sex in same sex or group sex encounters.

I've only slept with a couple of people in the last 15 years though and I don't feel the need to tell my partner that I had a rather more exciting history than perhaps he would assume now I'm quieter and approaching 50!

Body count means nothing it's the experience you gain, learn and share

No one has ever asked me. Although I don't think anyone cares. I know every name, the month it was, what we talked about, how it happened, the moves we utilised....
It was very set at 1 until I turned age 37. And from 37 to 39 it went to 7.
The 1 was very disappointing for 16 years and the subsequent 6 havent exactly been much of an improvement. I'm still waiting for quality I guess! 😂

Genuinely don’t know or care, went crazy after my separation & divorce in the mid eighties as I had a virtual captive male audience living near a big RAF base.
I then worked for a brief time as an escort and obviously it’s a “side issue”
I had the menopausal surge so to speak so I don’t know, I probably am a treble figure girl but would probably only ever divulge this to a very close girlfriend.

If a guy asked me I’d say 3, peggings that is then ask if they’d like to be No 4!

14

May be 13 .... but that is unlucky so 14 or 12B

Bar one experience, I’ve had similar experiences. Mostly disappointing! I think it’s overrated to be honest and as I get older I care less and less about it.

I Think about 8 or 9 but only two were good at it. I think only one asked me how many.

Very definitely 1, led a rather shy life as a youngster and, though sex is now far from great, haven’t looked to increase the number

Just the one. Married my first girlfriend 33 years ago. Fine by me. I've never had the pain of break-ups, or inflicted that pain on others. Still happy together.