I dunno OP, there seems to be a drop in your general libido which isn't all that unusual at all after kids arrive for women, but that probably takes time & effort (& more?) to rebuild tbh. E.g. toddlers tend to be all consuming & tiring until their bedtime, when 'there's peace again on the western flanks', so it might be a case of just really prioritising getting into a nice relaxed state of mind & body after child's bed time. That may mean DH doing bed time & more of the clean up after dinner say, while you go for a walk, bath, shower, or simply have some 'me time' on your tablet or whatever. Also pay attention to how much sleep you're getting, or not getting as the case may be? With a young toddler it's so easy to prioritise their sleep completely, to the detriment of your own e.g. nightly wake ups, intrusive baby monitors, etc. So late nights & early ams, etc. I notice the timestamp on your OP for instance, that's an ungodly hour to be posting on an Internet forum. No better way to reduce your libido, than having a bit of sleep deprivation imho. Poor sleep could be an indicator of other things also such as post natal depression, which will totally dull your libido tbh. There may be other tips too that female posters can give you.
However, the second issue from your OP is far more straightforward. You're clearly struggling with your libido currently, and trying getting back into a more active love life. The last thing you need is a partner who you feel is a bit too pushy about getting sexually intimate. There's nothing less attractive when you're not feeling totally 'into it', than a partner who is over eager imho. So you're going to have to ask him for a bit of space & patience here. You want to feel you can cosy up to your partner, hug & spoon them in bed, or whatever, without necessarily feeling that it has to lead to sex. What you want is more intimacy, emotional , backed up by physical. But that means he'll have to reduce his expectations a little when you seek some physical intimacy, in that you may just want & need a hug or to spoon or whatever, but may not want full intercourse. I think you should speak with your DH about this specifically, and maybe set out outline guidelines about it, or even agree how to communicate about it, as currently while you may just be seeking some low level physical intimacy or whatever, he's then seeking 'the full 9 yards', and could easily make you retract from seeking any intimacy, &/or it could give you the total ick. So it's vital you carve out a nice intermediate 'space' where ye can both be more physically & emotionally intimate with each other, without anyone feeling ye necessarily have to have full on intercourse, as a definite.
Normally, when you increase your intimacy in your relationship, your sex life will improve anyways e.g. ye might just spoon in bed one night, but when ye do it again another night it will lead to sex then, or the following am, or when ye're both next in the mood, etc etc. All intimacy is a virtuous circle really imho.
Good luck OP 👍