I always thought I would never do these things but then suddenly get the urge out of nowhere

[anon1637]

Through my teenage years, I never wanted to give a blowjob, it seemed like a gross act, I didn't understand why other girls did it, I assumed they just wanted guys to like them for it. A boyfriend convinced me to try it once but I hated it and swore I'd never do it again. Not only blowjobs but other degrading things like getting on my knees, bending over, anal. I didn't understand why other girls did these things.

In my 20s after I started seeing a new guy, suddenly one day when I'm at work thinking about him the thought of giving him a blowjob enters my head. I shrugged it off and carried on with work but it kept happening and the idea didn't seem so bad anymore. By the time I saw him next, it had turned into a fully fledged urge. I did it, loved it and haven't looked back. The same happened with some other things.

Has anyone else experienced this? What's going on here? I could understand if it was at puberty age or something but I'm mid 20s. Do people get urges out of nowhere throughout their lives?

If I had to guess, it’s hormones and shifting mindsets. A similar thing has happened to me before

I'm with you on this. I couldn't wait to be old enough to have sex, but give a bj? NO THANK YOU!
I thought girls only SAID they gave them to sound "big" and knowledgeable.
So all through my teenage years I had boyfriends but I never gave bjs. Most of them understood. I received "high marks" sts for my body and what it would do, so they accepted my "limitations".
But I'm now 21. I've had x number of boyfriends but I've only ever given 2 bjs. Both in the last month. I wouldn't say I am excited by them but I can see the attraction for a boy. And I'll give my current boyf more!

I’ve always given them from the outset, nothing has changed here, it has always felt the thing to do. If anything, l find it comforting. Maybe l was deprived of a dummy as a kid?

l expect something in return though.

Since when has giving a blow job, getting on your knees or bending over been degrading?

Maybe I’ve been missing something, but it’s never felt degrading to me and I’ve always wanted to do these things as part of sex because giving pleasure to your partner is exciting and I actually find giving a blow job a turn on.

Totally agree with this.
As Hamlet said, there is no degrading or honorific sex act, but thinking makes it so.

I'm sure, in the past, there were things I didn't particularly want to do, though not consciously because I felt they were degrading. The older I get (and esecially as a singleton) and the more things I've tried and/or learned about, there's not much I wouldn't try once, twice if I liked it and 3 times to make sure ... as long as it was with someone I liked. These days I'm more likely to try something because I'm not supposed to like it.

'"To BJ or not to BJ, that is the Question"

To swallow or not to swallow, THAT is the question

I agree with this. A the end of the day, isn’t oral an extension of a kiss?

As a teen (40s now) with hormones bubbling, I’d experienced oral (giving and receiving) before l’d ever had penetrative sex.

Exactly this!
Honestly, in a loving relationship where both partners are invested in pleasing each other, there is nothing degrading about any of these things.
Would a man going down on you be degrading for him? Would you getting on top be degrading for the man?

Of course everyone is free to like what they like. It's not about preference. But when you set out to call very normal reciprocating sexual acts degrading, then of course you're going to experience them that way.

I think your body is actually telling you - through those daydreams - that you actually just want a normal sex life, and that you need to re-evaluate what you consider to be degreding or not.

I think it’s totally understandable that there are things a young woman or teenager wouldn’t feel comfortable doing when she is just at the beginning of her sexual journey that as she grows more confident she will enjoy exploring. There is no rush after all. And definitely shouldn’t be any pressure

Perhaps some people feel it’s degrading when people like Andrew Tate or some rappers talk about having women drop to their knees to suck their dicks. Some men brag about it in a very misogynistic way, so it’s important to ensure that the woman feels like she is in a trusting, loving partnership, rather than with someone who’s going to brag about it in a degrading way to his mates.

A valid point. But l hope that neanderthal man (NB: l am not calling all men, neanderthals) will discover as time goes on, that the more they listen to the likes of Andrew Tait, the more isolated they will become. The very women they mock will take a stand.✊

I think we can change her mind for many reason, il do some things that ive never been able to do 2 years ago or dont want to do 2 years ago

I’m probably a bit odd but even as a teen I knew I wouldn’t shy away from oral. I just saw it as part of sex. I couldn’t wait to get started but ended up not having any sex at all until I was 21. I was very keen to go by that point 😂

I think to some of us, it just came naturally.

Absolutely 😁

It’s part and parcel of my/ our sex/love routine. He gives me oral I give him a blow job. The orgasm I get is more intense and enjoyable. His orgasm’s are more intense. We both agree that good oral sex produces more intense orgasm’s than normal sex and are one of the reasons why couples should practice it. ladies don’t be shy give it a try.

Sex would be very boring without it.

Well, maybe not “boring” but definitely a lot less fun!

It came natural to me too. I also wanted to try it in my early teens. Gave my first one when I was 14, afterwards it was his turn to do me

My new partner was widowed last year and if he did to his wife what he does to me she was a very lucky lady. I must confess I am now in my 60’s and have only just discovered oral sex, all I can say it’s so delightful and enjoyable I want more.

@DreamyGloucesterGirl - You have a lot of lost time to make up for.

Enjoy.

Thankyou @StarlightLady I intend to.

@DreamyGloucesterGirl try different techniques to enjoy oral with your partner, including 69…be bold and go for it✊🏿

@Reidwood Tried that position but as I’m on the short side it’s difficult for him. I prefer squatting on his face. He can get his tongue in easier and I can play with him. Sex is so enjoyable. Wish I’d found him twenty years ago.

I can’t do 69. I clench my teeth just prior to climax. It could be a tad unhealthy. 🙃