In a sexless marriage and fantasising about extramarital sex

[NCdesperation]

I’d like to ask for others’ opinions regarding my situation. I'm in a sexless marriage with my husband of 17 years. It's been sexless for almost 3 years and seems very unlikely to change. The sex wasn't that great even when it was still happening. I don't want to leave as I have a very comfortable life otherwise. We get along well enough outside the bedroom but I've been becoming increasingly frustrated with the lack of sex. Compounding the issue is that my libido is the highest it has been since I was in my 20s. I'm 46 now. I don't think about sex 24/7 but I think about it daily, usually several times a day. I fantasise about having extramarital sex with men who I find attractive. I sometimes give men the “eye” when I am out in public, and am flattered when they reciprocate. I fantasise about having passionate, lustful sex where we both are in a mad rush to rip each other’s clothes off. I have also found that the warm weather has enhanced my libido even further.

I wanted to ask if anyone here (I would like to hear from both women and men) has actually had extramarital sex and would be willing to share their experience. Did you regret it? It feels quite naughty to say, but the idea of an affair or even a one-off shag with someone else has become increasingly appealing to me. Not looking for any moralising about affairs or extramarital sex being wrong by the way, though I am sure some people will still try to do that anyway.

@NCdesperation I note it has been 3 months since you started your thread. PM me if you wish.

Because of health problems it is unlikely that my DH will be able to be intimate again. I was very upset because of this. He neglected to get treatment for a problem. He did not tell me so I do partly blame him.
I did not want to have another man.
After 'confessing' to a friend over drinks, she introduced me to a lesbian friend of hers. I have dated 2 women now.
This has helped me and DH now knows and does not feel as threatened as if I was sleeping with a man.
I do not feel that I am a lesbian, I have not made the commitment that they make to enjoy their lifestyle. They are right I am a bit of a 'tourist', I think of myself as Bisexual

That’s exactly how I feel, my relationship is very quickly becoming a friendship and the longer I’m going the more horny im getting with no way of blowing off steam, I know I can masturbate but it’s not the same, I have kinks and fetishes I want to explore and I want to enjoy what I enjoy but instead I’m just miserable and plodding along day by day, it’s hard balance of what’s right and will make me happy and what’s working for my family and normal to everyone

My husband and I had no sex for over 4 years. A mid of him starting Blood pressure tablets and me dealing with grief and having to care for an ailing parent. However when I hit 50 my hormones raged like that of a teenage boy and we have been regularly having sex since. I think we just fell out of the way of it. We just got complacent. I won’t let that happen again. Have you tried initiating sex with him or do you just want a new partner?