Oral and labia appearance

[poppingcandysweets]

I have labia that protrude, not significantly, but it still protrudes, it’s something I’ve been thinking more about recently.
Before my long-term partner, it was very rare I received oral sex, my partner also doesn’t seem overly enthusiastic about doing it. It has got me thinking, could the fact I don’t have a perfect looking vulva be contributing to the lack of oral and the past partners I’ve had found it a turn-off?
Is this something that determines whether men will give oral or not?

@poppingcandysweets Absolutely not. As a guy I would say, short answer is that how it looks would never change my desire to go down on a woman. Cleanliness /odour/ sexual health would be the only things that would put me off.
And that said I do very much enjoy the scent and taste usually. Stale sweatiness would be the ick factor.

I’m a very clean and hygienic person, so it’s not poor hygiene. Maybe men are more keen if they like the way a vulva looks.

@poppingcandysweets I would say it has more to do with the men you have met and their desire to meet your needs and ensure your pleasure. I would very much doubt that there was anything objectionable about your physical appearance between your legs.
Don't be one of those people who change their bodies for their partner in hope. There is too much risk to you, and a high likelihood it won't have the effect you hope.

More basically having it nicely trimmed or smooth is likely to encourage more desire.

I trim/shave and keep tidy. I always read that men are enthusiastic about giving oral, but it’s not been my experience. I know men watch porn and see perfect looking vulvas, so when one doesn’t look like that, it’s maybe a turn off for men.

@poppingcandysweets absolutely not, real men go down because they enjoy giving the pleasure. It matters not if it is a perfect porn like view. Change your men not your Vulva!

They come in all shapes and sizes on porn too. Just like irl!

@poppingcandysweets Hi there. I’m going to say something different to the other men so far - yes, for me.

I would give oral sex to any partner irrespectively, but i definitely have a preference, and i personally find large labia unattractive. I would never say this to my partner, but typically i would lose my erection whilst giving oral sex if i found her vulva unattractive.

I would say however that it’s very much an individual thing in my experience between men - some like small labia, some large, some don’t care either way. Same with pubic hair style. I can’t speak for your particular experiences, but out of respect for an honest answer, yes for me appearance does affect my desire to give oral, although it doesn’t stop me from doing it if that makes sense.

If you read this topic a lot you will see that some men and women love giving oral and some don’t. Their reasons are personal and varied.

From what you describe your Vulva sounds within the middle range of variance but there is no normal and often our personal opinion can be very different to someone else’s perception.

The Vulva Gallery on Instagram is a great feminist resource of illustrations and testimonials from women about their Vulva. Some heart felt and positive stories on there .

To answer personally. If someone trusts me enough to allow me to see or give pleasure to their Vulva then no there isn’t anything about how it looks that would be on my mind at that time x

That’s true, I guess I was just wondering whether the desire to give oral is related to how men may view the woman’s vulva.

I guess realistically some men will have a preference, some won’t. Those that do have a preference- what they like will vary.

and some men won’t enjoy oral at all.

as pp have referred to, I imagine cleanliness and pube-scaping/waxing etc are much more important to most blokes than lips!

I appreciate your answer, but telling a woman you would lose your erection if her vulva was unattractive is the kind of post that doesn’t make me feel good about myself. I am trying hard not to conform to altering my body via surgery because I want to genuinely feel good about the body I was given, but this just makes me feel like I’m gross.

A guy losing his erection during oral is very normal. Doesn’t mean he finds you unattractive down there. could you speak to your partner?

Thank you - the vulva gallery was interesting, it has opened my eyes to how different we all are.

I was being honest, which is what you would respect i imagine? As i already said, some men do prefer large labia so it’s completely a personal thing. I hope you feel better with your partner moving forward.

It’s ok to say you have a preference and find others more attractive, but saying you’d lose your erection over one you didn’t find attractive, I don’t think was called for.

I am going to speak to my partner, but I don’t know how to phrase the question.

Male view. It would not put me off in any way. As others have said erections can be lost for a variety of reasons, nothing to do with the appearance of a vulva or labia.
Talk to your partner about how you fell or show him this thread or the vulva gallery and discuss.
Good luck OP.

It’s not ‘uncalled for’, it’s a fact about my erection i was presenting from my lived experience, which may be different from other men. I’m entitled to lose my erection lol!

Everyone is different, and respectfully, I think you have nothing to worry about - and you shouldn’t
!

Deffo not impeding a bloke from going down on you. We like every kind, we're biologically tuned to love all shapes and sizes, if we didn't babies wouldn't get made.

A very early GF had massive labia. She hated her flaps, I loved them. I think fondly back on it a lot. 💭

Weird that you find more than one bloke unenthusiastic in that way - maybe your insecurity is killing their interest? Maybe you're subconsciously giving them the impression you don't want it?

‘We’. Speak for yourself mate.

I'm pretty sure I'm speaking for the vast majority of blokes on this one. A vulva men don't like would be like finding a £50 note and not liking it.

I'm sure there are exceptions but not many...

Not all men like giving OS, a friend of one of my exes really didn't like it and felt really awkward about it because he enjoyed receiving but not giving. Why not just ask your OH if he likes doing it or not?

It would be like me saying, I prefer big penises, rather than small ones, but going beyond that and saying small ones are unattractive and don’t make me wet. I’m not saying you can’t lose your erection, but your need to go further beyond your preference was uncalled for, in my opinion, which of course, I am also entitled to.

You’re right maybe my insecurity is giving the impression I don’t like it, I do plan to discuss with my partner, we are going away soon for a short break, so I will talk to him about it then.

I love giving oral. Personally I like labia that protrude. I enjoy sucking them and feeling them touching the bit below my bottom lip when I'm licking a woman's clit. That said, I wouldn't care if they didn't protrude either. The way I feel about a woman's genitals is an extension of the way I feel about the woman. I may have a preference, but it's of no real consequence.