Oral and labia appearance

[poppingcandysweets]

I have labia that protrude, not significantly, but it still protrudes, it’s something I’ve been thinking more about recently.
Before my long-term partner, it was very rare I received oral sex, my partner also doesn’t seem overly enthusiastic about doing it. It has got me thinking, could the fact I don’t have a perfect looking vulva be contributing to the lack of oral and the past partners I’ve had found it a turn-off?
Is this something that determines whether men will give oral or not?

I love giving oral, and larger labia turn me on. I don't blame folks for having preferences, but that should start with wanting to make each other happy.

I’ve said on MN before that for me, when it comes to men, no oral = no entry, and l’ve been criticised for it. Seemingly it’s wrong for me to decide how and with who l share my body. But it does sound as if you’ve had a raw deal OP.

Being well past the curious stage for quite sometime, l’ve also seen a fair number of vulva close up. We are all different, just like finger prints but on a larger scale. As people get to know your face before they meet with other parts of you, it seems bonkers that this should impact on how they feel and what they do. In short, l would say you have met a few wrongs along the way.

@poppingcandysweets dont blame yourself ,you’re doing the right things for your man to enjoy😛, the actual issue is DH, be bold and talk to him if he has issues going down on you 👍🏿

Hi OP I have the same setup as you down below (probably more extreme) and it's been an issue for me all my life. Massive fears over sex, cervical smear tests etc etc. Considered plastic surgery. Didn't think anyone other than DH would ever find me attractive.

Unexpectedly found ourselves dabbling in the swinging lifestyle over the past year (long story...) and being on Fabswingers with its many photos has confirmed to me that - yes, I'm an outlier. But the number of guys who have approached me in clubs and said they find my vulva (specifically with all its unwanted protrusions) a massive turn on has been a revelation to me. I've taken a lot of positives from this !

I’ve clearly lived a sheltered life, but how do people even know what the average vulva even looks like to compare? I’m also a bit 🤔 about the previous person saying giving oral can make a man lose his erection- why would this be? Seems counter intuitive to me and from my experience… oral sex for me makes me excited as does it for my husband, I assumed that was normal?

@poppingcandysweets , Iv encountered ladies who have had their protruding labia pierced, stimulated it enhances their pleasure, is it something you’d consider?
p.s maybe a new thread to be started here on intimate piercings that enhances your pleasure?
btw Iv not got my cock pierced by have worn cock rings!😉✊🏿

This is actually a really nice idea. Instead of heading into drastic changes that you cannot undo such as surgery, do something that will help you love that part of your body. The piercing idea is a good one, if you’re into that (and brave enough!).

A few years ago my DH bought me a book called “My Vulva and I” and it’s full (it’s a big book!) of pictures of all different vulvas with stories from women which tell you how they learnt to love theirs. I have no idea why he bought it for me as I don’t have any issues with that area, but it’s actually a really good read and worth having a look at to gain some different perspectives.

In my experience many men don’t like giving oral. Yet most like to receive. Guy i’m seeing (casual at the moment) loves giving it and it’s definitely something I enjoy, but have had little of over the years. So i’d imagine it’s nothing to do with you, but just they don’t like / want to give it. That’s fine, as long as they aren’t expecting oral!

Hi there. Yes, it was me who said that. Basically to expand i feel the experience of giving oral to women very mixed, if you would like me to expand I can but as the OP requested i’m not going to over extend with information unless i’m asked and i’ll respect that. I enjoy some aspects of it not others, of course i can’t speak for other men. With a partner i don’t discuss any of this, i just get on with it for a lack of better phrasing lol - i do get a lot of satisfaction for giving someone pleasure, so that’s my motivation for doing it aside from my mixed feelings on the experience.

On a lighter note, i invariably find myself on the carpet whilst my partner is on the bed or some other weird angle - i’m 6’3- so i get positional cramp or whatnot and the position i think impinges on the erection to allude to your original point. Finally - i don’t think i’m a natural at oral (my opinion, i’ve never had that fed back) so i find myself really concentrating to get feedback from her body movement and noises - so that focus contributes to my loss of erection I think because i apparently can’t multi-task.

My partner similar height and he definitely doesn’t end up on the floor or get cramp! It needs to be very comfortable for both involved to be enjoyed I think- cramp not sexy!

Tell me about it lol

I appreciate all the feedback you’ve all given, I’ve done some research since about vulvas and oral sex, I’ve also realised that my labia really isn’t that large at all, compared to some women that have particularly large labia. It’s also made me realise that we are all different and unique in our own way and to accept my body for the way it is, also it seems that there are many men that just don’t like the idea of giving a woman oral, or enjoy it, which I think is possibly how my partner feels, anyhow, we are going away soon, so I am going to approach the subject. About the suggestions for a piercing, it’s not something I am keen on in such a delicate area, but I appreciate the idea nonetheless.

I'm not sure if your particular labia if off putting or not, I don't think it would bother me that much if I wanted to perform oral sex on a woman.

I think most oral is usually performed under the covers with lights out so he has pretty limited view of it to start with to be turned off by. (I have children so not too many sexy lights on wild abandonment sessions here)

I think a pp hit it the nail on the head when they suggested it might be more of a “you” thing than him. If you have been previously anxious when a partner is starting to go down on you and not relaxing into it, they probably think you’re not really wanting it.

i personally LOVE it and am a very enthusiastic recipient and in turn this makes my DH hornier and wants to turn me on and make me cum

“…performed under the covers with lights out”. Really? I’d find that overly restrictive. Plus l like to see the person l’m with.

And as I’ve said, due to children and normal everyday life, wild lights on, fuck who might walk in and see me sat on his face doesn’t happen too often but everyday enjoyment of each other where we can, when we can and as restrictive as this may be, happens more often than not.

And I would also think is a lot more common than you are suggesting, you only need to go on the relationship board to see that!

@Usernameismyname01 - l get that if you don’t have a lock on the door. I don’t think
l’ve seen many “light off” posts though. But obviously l can’t see all posts all of the time.

The important thing is that people accept we are all different and are confident about how they look.

If you’re only lurking on the sex boards you won’t see many sex under normal circumstances post. I’ve found that on this board people are indulging in marathon energetic no hold barred sex everyday of the week (which I do think is just a tad exaggerated) but that’s my opinion

Off I go back to the boards about everyday shit

A lot of posters are also on here because they are not having frequent sex. One of the longest recent threads is Sexless Marriages one.

I visit many boards on MN, but this one is by far the least judgemental.

@poppingcandysweetsAppearance has got nothing to do with your bloke not giving you oral sex, he just doesn't like doing it. If you're talking just a generous fleshy appearance, sorry to sound so anatomical, then that's one thing, if you are talking protruding and noticeable labia minora, he doesn't know how lucky he is and most fellahs on this site would form a queue around the block.