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"Trapped" in a sexless marriage

7 replies

ThatAquaSnail · 05/06/2025 15:54

Wow, where do I start?

I used the term trapped in quotes because I love my wife, shes my best friend as well as someone I care for. Both my wife and daughter, who is 17, are autistic and I am the "carer" for both with both needing my support for different reasons. I love them both deeply and they are my world. I work full time and I am the sole earner in the family so I do keenly feel how much they both rely on me.

The problem is that at times (not all the time) I feel so lonely and unwanted? I am late 40s now and we havent had sex since before my daughter was born. My wife never wanted to really anyway and only ever agreed to stop me asking I think. Except for when we tried for our daughter.

The problem that causes me to really struggle at times with my mental health is that I could never possibly leave my two favorite people in the whole world..but the love and affection only goes one direction and it can be exhausting and lonely. I know its not their fault though, its how they are wired.

I have a good job, I am able to provide everything we need so that my wife does not need to work. We have paid off the mortgage, have a lovely house and we can have nice holidays when we are able. Life should be really good. I guess the best way to describe it is that I have a large bucket of love to give and I am a caring person, but the bucket never gets refilled and sometimes I feel like I am empty.

Its so difficult to explain sorry. I dont even know why I am writing this but I just feel the need get it off my chest. There is no solution and I just have to accept that but its so very difficult and lonely at times.

OP posts:
Eric1964 · 05/06/2025 16:12

I know of a decent support forum for marital infidelity. Does anyone know of a similar forum specifically for sexless relationships?

AnonAnonmystery · 05/06/2025 16:16

There is actually a thread on the sex board which is a sexless marriage support group, you may find joining this helpful as a lot of people in the same boat navigating this situation.

ThatAquaSnail · 05/06/2025 16:18

AnonAnonmystery · 05/06/2025 16:16

There is actually a thread on the sex board which is a sexless marriage support group, you may find joining this helpful as a lot of people in the same boat navigating this situation.

Thank you, I didnt realise, I will take a look

OP posts:
AnonAnonmystery · 05/06/2025 16:24

You can post your thread on there so you don’t have to write it all again. Good luck!

ThatAquaSnail · 05/06/2025 16:30

AnonAnonmystery · 05/06/2025 16:24

You can post your thread on there so you don’t have to write it all again. Good luck!

Thank you

OP posts:
Catullus5 · 06/06/2025 01:44

@ThatAquaSnail I am in a ND/NT relationship. Drop me a PM if you like.

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