Long weekend casual fun...

[Freeflight]

Not sure if this is the best thread but...I'm in a bit of a rut.
Having been single for over 2 years after a long unsatisfying marriage to my very first boyfriend, not finding any relationship options from dating apps, social groups/events, I'm questioning if I want to try a casual set up, but I'm thinking a long weekend. Is that even a thing? I feel I see it on Tinder but not sure I'd have any luck at my age.

Basically, has anyone gone away for a long weekend alone, maybe an Airbnb apartment and used the dating apps for a bit of fun?
Any tips, advice, city/location suggestions?
I'm almost 40 (definitely not a godess in the looks department) and live near Manchester so not there or Liverpool as it would be nice to go somewhere and know that at the end of the weekend I'm gone.

@Gymbunny2025 definitely don't want that. But I am happy to have a regular set up that means someone helping me figure all the sex stuff out, have fun, but weeding out someone genuine and attractive (to me) out of a bunch who will come twice (pun intended) never to be seen again.

My mental and emotional health (as well as my financial security) have been badly hit by this man. It has gone on for 8 years. Like you, I am a bit naive when it comes to sex (had no-one else before the man I married - who was very poor in that whole area tbh).

I have tried dating apps and just end up swiping left on everyone and delete the account. It isn’t a good option for me. I’m an outdoors girl so the thought of joining a gym (and paying ridiculous money for it) fills me with dread! I enjoy long weekends in London/Surrey every few weeks - where this man is, I might add - and always get a lot of it and it helps my mental health. I also often see him but I end up feeling deflated afterwards as he rushes off home! He then goes quiet and OIget a lecture about moving on and finding someone who could really give me what I need. It’s very difficult to let go when you are so deeply in love with a person! I can’t understand how he can do it if he has no intention of ending his marriage! I feel very used tbh. We had tried to be friends only but the chemistry is strong and it went further most of the time. Unfortunately, I’m the one with feelings! He said he had feelings for me too but I don’t think so. He has said his wife now has ill health due to her weight (heart problems) - I have seen her btw so his story does make sense. It was a friendship that blossomed and went too far but I had lived in a sexless marriage for over a decade (and that ship had sailed a long time ago) - I was also high on menopausal hormones! It’s changed and ruined my life tbh! I couldn’t string someone along like that.

Anyway, I’m busy trying to sell the house atm so that will keep my mind off of him a while. He is still on my phone (neither of us have blocked each other) but he is silent. When I have messaged, I’m getting a short and sweet reply. I gave up! 😢

@R2D2C3POSkywalker im going to try and avoid making too much comment on the fact that this is an affair as I'd hope that you know what a poor choice that is. Unless it is an openly non monogamous relationship with all parties fully aware that is (and I don't think yours is that)
You should remove yourself from it solely for the hurt and horror that you are inflicting on someone else. I come from the other side of cheating, not even a long term affair and it completely destroyed me more than anyone would ever know.

Instead, I'm going to focus on your self worth and how to find someone that actually gives you respect.
Yes, dating apps are mostly awful, but I've had some great chats on there even if they haven't led to anything. But I also understand that it's full of potential liars, so you are walking into it with your eyes open.
Have you thought that the reason you swipe no is solely because you are internally portraying this man to be amazing (he's having an affair with you, he is not, he is the depths of awful) and therefore no one else compares.
You need to find a way to block contact and move on.
Eventually this will end horrifically and he will not be there to mop up your tears as he has a wife.
I found 6 sessions of personal counselling gave me a lot of my self worth back and I genuinely recommend you do the same.
It's no life to live.

Sorry the weekend away looking for fun did not work out.

I mistakenly thought that as newly single and still travelling lots for work I too could find some fun on my travels. But it has not been the case. Spidey sense / red flags made me leave a few conversations, but mainly I think a lot of people on the dating apps looking for fun last minute are actually fantasists / timewasters / married. The reality of someone replying to them 'yep, I am around for three days, fancy meeting in reality for a drink and maybe more' sends them scurrying away...

The only casual fun I have had was one night in a very busy London hotel at Christmas. I got chatting to someone at the bar, who avoided their work do to spend an evening with me.

I have wondered about trying some spicier sites like Fab, but think that is whole other world of stress.

Hi @Freeflight Did you manage to meet up with someone?

@Defenders no, I didn't meet anyone on my weekend away.

I'd go on a dating site personally and build a bit of a rapport with someone. Be as casual as you need to be. They could be anywhere in the country. meet them at a halfway point. So for example they're in London you meet in Birmingham. Hotel only. You get to check them out first.

@tanoshi its a good idea, but I've been on local dates with people from online dating and I wouldn't waste my money specifically going to see one person that far away.
I'd go to a destination that I was interested in and see if there was someone there, but that's because I know I'll get something out of the destination itself.
But weirdly, I wouldn't do it the other way round.

Would you try a village or small town where people go for hobbies/specialist interest. A village in Norfolk I used to visit there were weekenders for Golf, birding, & walking. If you choose somewhere like that and stay in B&B or pub you will get to know locals and get known and have a chance to join in with life and perhaps parties.