Long weekend casual fun...

[Freeflight]

Not sure if this is the best thread but...I'm in a bit of a rut.
Having been single for over 2 years after a long unsatisfying marriage to my very first boyfriend, not finding any relationship options from dating apps, social groups/events, I'm questioning if I want to try a casual set up, but I'm thinking a long weekend. Is that even a thing? I feel I see it on Tinder but not sure I'd have any luck at my age.

Basically, has anyone gone away for a long weekend alone, maybe an Airbnb apartment and used the dating apps for a bit of fun?
Any tips, advice, city/location suggestions?
I'm almost 40 (definitely not a godess in the looks department) and live near Manchester so not there or Liverpool as it would be nice to go somewhere and know that at the end of the weekend I'm gone.

Let us know how it goes!

I think it sounds like a great idea. Are you going to seek out people online before you get there, maybe a few weeks or so before you go, or wait til you get there and fire up whichever app you use with a new location.

Fabswingers might be a good app to find someone casual, but set your criteria strict, and block anyone outside of your set criteria from messaging you.

It can be like wading through (a lot) of crap to find someone decent, but people do have verifications on their profile from people they have met before, and people are usually on there for like minded fun.

I suppose depending on where you live and how far you want to travel will determine whete you could do, but definitely a city with plenty of stuff to do.

Definitely go with a reputable hotel, rather than an airbnb, for safety.

Best of luck!

Some great pointers @MySXforumnn
Unless I pay I'd probably have to wait until I arrived, which means I don't want to be too far from home but far enough as then I can be there early to get the location set.
Thanks for the extra app idea that I can look into.

@Freeflight In my experience, it's very difficult to find someone locally for a casual thing in such a short time period (you may well have a different experience) - particularly if you want a whole weekend - as a pp has said, that implies more of a connection.

Swingers clubs are not a bad shout, but they can be very intimidating, and you aren't likely to get a whole weekend - more a one tine thing, but you should have a lot of choice, and the men there are all looking for the same thing.

Feeld is, imho, odd... Tinder can work, (not all of us on it are scum! )😃but again that tends to be more for a ons..

You could try Fabswingers, but it's definitely not for the faint hearted,. And again more for ons.

Whatever and where ever you decide, I hope you find something. I hear Shrewsbury is nice this time of year 😂

That’s kind of what my friend said about Feeld @AverageGuy! That it has good promise but ends up being a bit odd. Like a lot of people irl I guess! Can you put your finger on why?!

@Gymbunny2025 in my somewhat limited experience, It's extremely difficult to find a match, then when you do, you start chatting, and after a couple of messages they disappear, without any obvious reason. I've never actually met anyone from Feeld.

A hotel for safety sounds sensible. As it is an experiment, you could try 2 dates one with a man and one with a woman.
Feeld or Bumble I am told.

@AverageGuy i think the talking then disappearing is just dating apps in general for every 10 matches I get, 7 say nothing, 2 say something and the disappear and 1 I chat to for a few days before they reveal they don't actually want to date anyone/theu turn out to be racist/I go on a date and it doesn't work.
I'll keep Shrewsbury in mind haha, not sure it's got the location remits I'm aiming for though.

I have a FWB. We live miles apart. We meet about every six weeks and have a weekend together. Great sex and a ramble round a new city. It works for us. We are not exclusive.

This past weekend we’ve been to Cambridge. We did Park Run. Farmers Market. A treasure hunt. Afternoon tea and evenings of great sex.

Well I wanted to update.

I booked a last minute weekend away to a city in the East. I had some great food and went out for cocktails..... Alone.
A few days in advance I got a tinder deal to change my location for 7 days and started swiping. Got a few hits, but sadly none of them wanted to meet, bar one who said I could travel to his 20 mins outside the city and he'd drop me back after (Any females I hope would be with me on the "no" front for safety) and the others didn't respond at all to my playful openers.
As soon as I arrived I got Feeld and got 2 matches over the weekend. None of them responded to messages.
On my final night I got another match on Tinder but after swapping numbers he wasn't keen to meet for a drink, more looking for a "sure thing" straight at the apartment, which was confirmed by the erect photo he then sent.

So in the end it was unfortunately just a weekend away alone. Was it better than being at home alone, yes, as at least I got some nice meals out, but it was yet another hard pill to swallow on this journey of single life with the only adult conversation the waiters who served my food and the 20 year olds who told me how embarrassing they'd be going out for drinks alone.

Thanks for all the tips and pointers though.

Hey. Thanks for the update, and I'm sorry to hear it didnt quite work out for you.

I will be finding myself in a similar position in a few months, a weekend to myself and the possibility of being alone in a new city with the scope to meet someone on a similar basis to what you attempted.

I don't feel too hopeful, bit I think I might follow your example and give it a whirl.

@MySXforumnn it was worth doing just for the push to go for meals alone and be brave and try something different.
I think if I was the type who could just have sex with anyone I'd have been able to run through a couple, but I've had that experience before and it wasn't pleasant so definitely need to meet for a drink or 2 first (and then I'd have happily invited them straight back to mine that night if we got on)

Yes that makes complete sense. At least you enjoyed it nonetheless!

What is it with men not wanting to meet for a drink?! Is that a thing these days?!

did you stay in a hotel? Next time could you spend time in the bar sipping something slowly until you get chatted up (then if the chemistry is right, pounce 😂). Or think again about going with a girlfriend and hitting the bars?

I hope you had a nice weekend of food and site seeing even if it lacked sex!

Maybe you need to find a FWB??

I’m in a similar situation and married my first boyfriend but it was clear the sexual chemistry between us (well, from me as I wasn’t attracted to him - he was older by a decade and very boring sexually) was very poor. I stuck it out for years but it was clear he was in the friend zone - we ended up living in a sexless marriage for many years. I just couldn’t. We didn’t share any intimacy at all and that’s just pathetic in marriage (and I was early 30’s when it became sexless etc.).

I lived like this for years and menopause changed me. After suffering the loss of my mother and hitting menopause (which changed me into sex starved woman 😂), I ventured online (quite innocently at first) and chatted to a few men. One, I got on well with and it was obvious the attraction was mutual. Both of us married at the time. We ended up meeting after a year of chatting and have met many times since - fantastic sex, fantastic chemistry (on many levels). I ended my marriage immediately after meeting him. He didn’t. He has remained in
my life for 8 years but had called it a day a few times, only to return. Yes, I am a twat for allowing this but I fell for him. Stupidly. I have tried Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and another (I forget the name) and no-one takes my fancy etc. I feel doomed tbh and I’m older than you. It’s hard work and I left the apps a while ago.

But, I could no way sleep with someone casually. There needs to be something there for me. Hence why I ask probably still
alone. When there is something (feelings) I am very sensual and passionate. Hence why I got like this with the OM and I realised what I had been missing for years and how I’d settled for something (in my marriage) that was unfulfilling.

Maybe a FWB would be better for you?

I'd still recommend Shrewsbury... 😅

How old are you? OP is 39…!

@Gymbunny2025 I really was very tongue in cheek! I'm most definitely outside the ops age range.

A little above average then....? 😉

That sounds tough @R2D2C3POSkywalker and make sure you take care of your mental health/self worth stuff.
I was unknowingly a FWB for a married man. It was less benefit more him being very explicit on messages, not really committing to meeting and when he did he'd have to rush off after so I got none of the emotional side that I also value. It was also horrific when I found out he'd lied and was actually very much still married. Massive kick to my mental health having been cheated on by my ex.

I'm open to a FWB but I'd have to find them physically and emotionally attractive. So far, no takers, just the types who want you once or twice and then leave and I don't want to subject myself to that continuing rejection by man after man.
I am very naive and inexperienced sexually so I think some (not all) men see that as an opportunity to take advantage.

@AverageGuy hilarious. It's like an additional dating app on here haha

I really feel for you. You sound like a lovely genuine person who would bring a lot to a relationship with the right guy.

what are your hobbies? I know of 2 couples in their 30s/early 40s who got together at my gym within the last year. I definitely think getting to know each other slowly helps weed out the unsuitable ones.

also do you have a specific type? Mine used to be verrrry attractive types but of course they have options!! This was pre OLD even- must be ten times worse now!

@Gymbunny2025 sadly very much not a gym type. More a big and beautiful girl with the awesome personality.

I love films and theatre, so not exactly the places where you strike a chat with a stranger mid scene haha. Also, quite pricey so not a common occurance.
My type is probably not the best choice. Usually a little younger, I think I'm drawn to the energy and thirst for life and experiences. And maybe I feel less of a novice.
I do attempt to connect with older, but I think most in my range (up to 45) are looking for younger than me so I actually get lots more matches with younger.
I've always been more into the kind, boy next door faced, think Rudd, Evans, Gosling, but it's eyes, smile and being taller that are key.

I'm sure options will become available at some point. We all deserve decent sex at least once in our lives right. Hopefully I haven't missed mine and it's still to come.

im sure you haven’t missed yours! Just don’t let the mr right now’s mess you around while you’re waiting for mr right