Any male partners who don't masturbate?

[lucyandmike]

My husband has always been into masturbating and open about it, doing it a few times a week on average. Early last year he said that he thought he wasn't doing it quite as much now and his orgasms during sex had actually gotten stronger.

A few months ago he said he was going to try and refrain from masturbating in between sex which I didn't really believe or think would happen! It's been 3-4 months but he said that he really has got to a point where he not masturbated for about the last month. Not sure if this is good or bad but wondering if any other men do not need to or manage to refrain from masturbating at all?

I think a lot depends on how often you are having sex but orgasms generally are stronger if masturbating less...hence the term "death grip" that seems to be used a lot on here

Most of the husbands/partners whose wives have put them in a cock cage!!😀

Well, this will be an interesting thread….

and a quick point, the only people that can answer this question honestly are the men, they might tell their wives or DP’s that they don’t but they will , almost certainly.

Unless I was having sex 2 times a day +, I still would, it’s healthy and a different feeling to a sex orgasm. ( IMO )

I also think a lot more women masturbate when in relationships than many would admit on here….

Of course I do and surely most or a very high percentage do. Male and female?
For the record I've been in a very happy relationship with a wonderful woman for over 4 years, she knows I do and I know she does

Although I have to say I don't do it anywhere near as often as I used to. Not a conscious effort just things change as you get older I suppose. (50 in July)

I went through a period of time where I felt intimacy and sex was in the past, so didn't wank for probably 12 months maybe.....

Then some years ago I met my now fwb. These days we live in different time zones, and only meet 3/4 times a year.
However, playing together on FaceTime has become a very sensual playful experience we value hugely.

My husband doesn't do it much. I do it more regularly.

I think that masturbation is generally a self relief thing - an imitation of real sex when that's not on the table. Most people would usually prefer the real thing and masturbation is just a substitute for that.

I've tended to find that if we're having sex regularly enough then I have no desire to masturbate in between. But while that's not often been the case in my relationships, I've still not tended to masturbate simply because the opportunity wasn't present - none of my partners would have responded well to me masturbating in bed next to them!

Not living with my current partner and we only get to see each other a couple of times a month, so there's a lot more masturbation during our time apart than 2 person sex when we're together. 10:1 ratio for me I guess. I know dp does the same herself, but no idea how regular it is for her. It's not something we've really discussed in detail, despite neither of us being prudes.

I don't think this would be the case here as OP has said they've both always been really open about it. Me and my DP are the same he'll often text asking what I've been up to and I'll reply that I’ve been in bed watching porn 😆
I don’t see any issue if you’re both happy with the situation? I can’t see myself happily refraining from masturbating though lol

hey @MyOpulentDuck i wasn't really referring to the OP as such, but its an interesting thread so far, and much more open than i was expecting.

And admitting to watching porn on MN??....You're brave!

@lucyandmike

I’d be interested in his age and what prompted the change.Has he said why having said that my wife never asked and couldn’t care (in a nice way)

I did similar around 3yrs ago. I am late forties married and having regular sex. I used to be like the chaps who posted above but I very much decided to change my habits. No loss of libido no medical issues just a few factors that made me think I’d give it a go and haven’t really gone back to how I was, and I am much happier. Never denied myself when I feel the need or urge but most definitely a significant reduction and have no issue with anyone else doing it.

My exPartner used to masturbate frequently, in the shower or getting dressed he just did it. Sometimes but not often it was part of our sex games. Usually I did it in the shower, No fuss, did it cleaned up and finished getting ready.
Since being solo I have been making more of an event of it. Chat with women sometimes, (NOT men), bath, oil, and in bed, music. Much different to just getting it done.
edit: to add that I like nice porn sometimes, bellesa.com, Girl on Girl.

I firmly believe there are some men who don't masturbate, and that at least some of the men who tell their partners that they don't arev telling the truth. I've given up on a couple of occasions in my thirties. If sex is regular it's perfectly possible.

At the moment I do, but I'm careful not to if there's likely to be sex in the next 24 hours as it reduces my performance, particularly if I come. That can be a bit frustrating if sex then doesn't happen.

I also use it if I have RLS or insomnia. It's a really really really good solution for sleeplessness.

Since I discovered that edging can give you orgasms that are full body (not just in the groin) and many times stronger than without edging, I always use edging when masturbating. This also tends to encourage you to masturbate less frequently, and it is good practice for partnered sex and bridging "the orgasm gap".

Where has this come from? Why do you think women in relationships don't admit (odd term) masturbating?

It’s all over MN, not so much in the sex forum but constantly mentioned in the relationship part - seems that people on here are much more open.

yet in the real world it appears its pretty normal among my female friends!

@Catullus5 point about helping you sleep is spot on, I have to ‘knock one out’ before I go to sleep, it’s just a routine now but if I wake up in the night and can’t get back to sleep then a quick wank and I’m asleep within minutes.

In my last relationship, sex was so regular 2-3 times a day , I genuinely didn’t need to
masturbate, but the rare occasion my DP
was poorly or tired she was quite happy for
me to have some solo fun.

I don't think I've ever seen someone on any board talking about not masturbating. I think you are confusing it with porn

I don't think I've seen a lot of women deny masturbating on MN but there's a time and place. I'll talk openly about it the sex board but not elsewhere on MN under my other usernames as it's not relevant. And in real life people may deny it when asked or not choose to talk about it because it's a private topic.

This is coming from a male perspective; therefore, I may have it all wrong, but this may be driven by couple relations. That is, the reason why Bionicman said:

"It’s all over MN . . . yet in the real world it appears its pretty normal among my female friends!"

is that perhaps women feel that admitting to masturbating would indicate that their partners fail to satisfy them. Therefore, the women hide it to maintain good relations with their partners. This is ridiculous, of course, because only 18% of women can orgasm through penetration sex, alone. Men that know this understand that adding clitoral stimulation to penetration sex, or a woman doing the clitoral stimulation by herself, is critical for orgasm.

Is a woman’s perspective and contribution allowed here?

For starters, there are women who know for sure that their male partners masturbate, but there are none who know for certain that their male partners don’t. They may assume this to be the case, they may be right, but they can’t know for certain, especially in less libertine households where sex is rarely if ever discussed.

l tend to masturbate, say, once or twice a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. But the needs are so different from 1:1 sex; there is no way l could maintain that amount of regularity there. That requires sharing and energy. The former is just a little stress relief to make me purr.

The crux is that nobody should assume it is a partner substitute. It’s a different ball game.

I'm sure some men don't masturbate for various reasons but expect most do and also expect many ladies masturbate and some don't also. I think there are partners who like their partner to masturbate and probably some that would rather they didn't.

For us, we have always been open about it and both of us are in the pro-masturbation camp! It's never been an issue between us and if one caught the other we have usually left each other to finish. We both usually do it a few times a week so this is not an uncommon thing.

My hubby did start on some SSRI meds last year and these have really affected his sex drive and urges, which seems to be a common side effect. He has no reason to lie to me about it at all so I believe him when he said that after a few months his urge to masturbate had disappeared and that has continued since then.

My husband doesn’t. Not because he or I would have any issue with it. I do. He knows and doesn’t care. He just says he doesn’t like to or feel the need to. We have an active and fulfilling sex life but even when I was post partim
and we weren’t able to as much, he just said he didn’t want to. He was single for long periods before we got together and he just says he prefers the real thing and doesn’t like the imitation.
He isn’t lying as he’s no need to.

Not us two, we are both very regular masturbators and often watch each other. He often does it in a morning in the shower and I love to watch him.

Sorry; but I can almost guarantee he does.

He just doesn’t want to admit to watching porn.

There’s a (very) slim chance he doesn’t but unless he has a low libido or you have regular sex, as in every day, I think it’s unlikely.

But you can see from this thread alone that a lot of us enjoy that each of us masturbate alone too in the relationship @Bionicman Mine even sends me a porn link he's enjoyed sometimes 😂

I really don't think in these cases there is any motivation to lie about it!