Another ED one

[Thereasonidid]

The man I'm seeing is wonderful in every way, except ED strikes about 50% of the time. He's fit and healthy, mid 40s.

He takes generic Tadalafil before we see each other. We see each other about once a week. I'm trying to appreciate all the other parts of sex with him, but PIV is what I enjoy the most.

We had a very open conversation last night where he told me even one rogue thought like what he's doing at work the next day is enough to not get an erection. He is able to get an erection most of the time when he masturbates, but even then, a thought will stop it.

He said he's going to do some reading around. Anything you can suggest for him to look into?

TIA

I’ve been using sildenafil (viagra) and is does work. Many years ago my doctor prescribed it because although I could get an erction I needed a little help. I tried various strengths and found by cutting the 100 mg tablet into 4 gave the result required. However I did find that on some occasions it did not work. I put it down at the time to stress at work. But it never put me off making love to my wife and we would soon be “getting it on again” so they say.
I would point out that to be effective the man must be sexually aroused, if not then it won’t happen.
There are also other factors which may need to be addressed either medical or chemical. For instance your partner may need to have his testosterone level checked.
At his age I would expect him to be firing on all cylinders.
In my late 60’s I began taking 50 mg tablets which still worked.
There is another reason he may have a secret which he is not telling you about.
If everything is OK between you then it will come back, you may have to consider more foreplay and possible introduce a toy.
My wife always prepared to start with her vibrator then finish me off with a good seeing to, it was wonderful.🍆👌
Good luck.

Viagra helps open up the arteries and capillaries in the male organ. Arousal needs to take place in order for the meds to work either psychologically or physically.
A rogue thought can stop the arousal process in both a male that has take viagra or hasn't taken viagra. Just like a woman can have a rogue thought like "did I load the dishwasher" that can momentarily change the responses in her body and if those thoughts are continuous then the mood is lost.
Creating an ambience where both people are relaxed is paramount and all thoughts outside of getting passionate are truly forgotten. Then results might be different.

May I just say that when people say 'it works' when talking about chemical treatment for ED what they really mean is 'it works for me.' Viagra (I don't know the stats for Cialis, or its generic equivalents) works for only about 65-70% of men and of those for whom it does work, around 25% of them will develop a tolerance over time that renders it not so effective. Please don't get the impression that these miracle drugs work for everybody.

ED- A man’s story | Mumsnet

If there is no medical issue, you should know that there are muscles in the penis and pelvic floor that do not get trained in the gym. The training for these muscles is called Kegels exercises. The slow twitch muscle fibers in the penis and the pelvic floor obtain and maintain the erection, and the ability to maintain the erection can be strengthened by Kegels exercises. Pelvic floor therapist Michelle Kenway has 2 videos on YouTube for this:

Kegel Exercises for Men – Beginners Pelvic Floor Strengthening Guide

and

Kegels for Men – REAL TIME Daily Kegels WORKOUT

Doing the exercises regularly takes discipline, but they are worth it.

I had understood that kegels could reduce erectile dysfunction but the evidence wasn't clear.

I've used kegels in the past, and the problem did stop but there could have been over reasons.

My GP just wanted to stick me on Viagra and shunt me out the door. Won't be going back to him.

The underlying explanation for the success of Kegels against ED is that they train and build the slow twitch muscle fibers in the penis and pelvic floor that allow you to maintain an erection. I have found that they help with edging, also. Although I have never tried Viagra, daily low dose Tadalafil (generic Cialis) helps to guarantee "morning wood"; and it helps to ensure nocturnal erections, which are vital for good blood circulation in the penis since the blood does not circulate fully if there is no erection.

I’m in the boat that doesn’t believe Kegals help men with ED, at least not the majority.

Kegel exercises strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor, allowing better control over ejaculation. They do very little to increase or sustain the bloodflow into the corpora cavernosa, which creates the erection. PDE5’s do this although if the ED is psychological they won’t work, ( as well) and if there is a serious venous leak, which is vascular damage then there is very little that can be done that doesn’t involve surgery.