Hi All,
Name change for this one:
I have noticed an awful lot of threads pop up over the last month or so about ED, the common theme is usually that the woman thinks it is about them, and they often feel hurt and rejected. Quite often Porn gets thrown into the mix along with a host of other possible causes, most of which are pretty unhelpful.
It is reported that 80% of men will experience some form of ED at some point in their lives, with the likelihood increasing with age.
There are two categories for ED
Psychological and physiological. Most young men will have psychological whilst older (50+) will generally have psychological ED although of course there are exceptions.
Men often get a lot of slack for being on Mumsnet, but there are scenarios where a man’s opinion can be helpful, especially in areas such as ED. Even more so if said man has experienced it……….
I was diagnosed with Peyronies disease in 2020, this then led to ED approximately a year later.
ED ruined me, it destroyed my relationship, and it crippled my mental health. Unlike a lot of men, I was determined to get better. I wasn’t even middle aged, I regularly went to the gym, I wasn’t overweight, and I had what most would class as a healthy lifestyle. The thought of a sexless life scared the shit out of me so I put on my big boys pants and began my ED adventure .
My journey started on Franktalk. For any wives or girlfriends who are struggling with their partners ED, I would urge you both to go onto the forums and read the many thousands of posts over the last 10 or so years. I must have spent weeks in total, gathering information and focusing on how I could get better. I had atrophy, which meant my first plan of action was to find a way to get back my nocturnal erections – a vital part of a healthy penis and without them, atrophy happens which meant in my case, I lost 2 inches. If every man who had ED, and refused to get help knew that they could and probably would lose anywhere from 1-3’ ( depending on the length of time without NTE ) I am sure more would seek medical help.
My first port of call was my GP – My doctor was little to no help, but I was referred to my local urologist. 6 months later and I was still waiting for an appointment…..If you can afford it, I would strongly suggest you go private for a first assessment. I paid £300 and I was seen the following week. In total I saw three urologists , all privately and they all helped in some dorm
or another. Some more than others.
In the meantime, I experimented with a cocktail of drugs and supplements. Along with a healthier lifestyle such as quitting smoking, drinking less, and eating less fatty foods, the only drugs that worked for me were PDE5’s – or Viagra and other brands. I can’t even remember the supplements I was taking, but at one point I was having 10 different supplements a day to try and combat my ED.none worked, it just meant my bedside drawer was a colour mix of probably over 500 pills and tablets at any given time.
PDE5’s will work for approx. 75% of men .There are two brand leaders, Viagra and Cialis. Viagra is the better known pill – It is usually blue and is taken 30m prior to sexual activity. Try not to have foods high in fat prior to taking and don’t have any alcohol. Effects usually last 2-4 hours but I got quite a bad headache and occasionally some blurred vision. Viagra typically comes in 10mg and 20mg tablets and men with low blood pressure should check with their doctor first as all PDE5’s lower blood pressure which could result in fainting.
Cialis comes in 2.5mg and 5mg for daily use and 10mg and 20mg for use prior to sex. The 10mg and 20mg pills last up to 36 hours so really take the ‘lack of spontaneity ‘ out of the equation. I found them to be a little weaker than viagra but I had very little side effects. As far as I am aware food and alcohol had less of an impact but alcohol + PDE5 is never a great idea due to the lower blood pressure.
It is important to remember that PDE5’s do not increase libido, they do not prevent premature ejaculation and they will only work if the man is sufficiently aroused.
If a man has a venous leak - where blood leaves the penis quicker than blood flows in they are unlikely to work although a cock ring can help - but it must not stay on for more than 30 minutes.
The 5mg daily Cialis worked great for me and after a week of popping a pill each evening, my NTE began to come back, although admittedly not like they were when I was in my 20’s!
I bought my pills online, I bought the generic sildenafil ( Viagra ) and tadalafil ( Cialis ) at roughly half the cost.
At the same time I was battling with my Peyronie’s, which confounded my issues. This isn’t a thread about the PD so I won’t go into any detail but it did mean that I (thankfully) couldn’t do injections. There are two types of injectables - Tri-max and Quad-max.
These are injected into the penis 20 minutes before sex and they are like viagra on steroids. As men get older, and the pills become a greater health risk, or when over time they don’t work as well, they will usually end up on the injectables. The erection typically last for 2 hours although a lot more planning is needed but Sexual stimulation is not needed.
There are also vacuum pumps, which although they can work well it’s not exactly a sexy way to get prepared before sex!
I want to make it clear to any woman that ED is not because of you! It is something that is generally speaking, out of our control and a man with severe ED could have a dozen naked porn stars doing naughty things to him and nothing will happen.
Talking about porn….a common theme on MN is that porn causes ED.
There have been many studies trying to connect the two and approximately 60% of the studies found that porn does NOT cause ED Whilst 40% do.
Porn causes SD, or sexual dysfunction and whilst ED is part of SD, porn is generally not seen as a major contributing factor to ED.
Porn will decrease libido, especially if it is watched regularly and close to sexual intercourse. This will then make it harder to get sexually stimulated and the desire to watch sex will be less. Porn can also cause premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation, both forms of SD along with PE.
When I first saw my urologist he told
Me to watch more porn - no joke - this was to get as much blood flow into the penis as possible so the blood cells could be regularly oxygenated. The way I see it is, if a man can get hard watching porn but not sex, he has got SD and not ED. If he can’t get hard, then he has ED. If he can get hard but then goes soft he either has a venous leak or it’s partially physiological.
As my journey continued, I was told to try shockwave therapy. I had already heard of this and had done my research and I knew it wasn’t for me. The results were either very short term or it could worsen the ED. It’s not something I would recommend to anybody.
After two years of seeing various urologists, having tests, and taking all kinds of medication, I came to the realisation that physical ED very rarely gets better and over time will only ever get worse. Coupled with my Peyronies, which meant even if I could get hard, sex was near impossible anyway, my final solution was an implant.
I had my implant in 2022. I went private as I wanted to choose my surgeon, with it being such a delicate part of the body. Healing was tough, over 2 months of not being able to sit down comfortably or walk properly but once fully healed I wished I had done it two years earlier. It changed my life, cured the Peyronies and means I will never have to worry about ED again. I feel like superman in the bedroom now, and even out of the bedroom, my friends have all seen a noticeable
improvement in my mental health.
An implant is the last resort, there is no going back, I will never be able to have a natural erection again and I will need 2 or 3 further surgeries to replace it but i honestly could not be happier.
I hope this post doesn’t come across as egotistical and I hope no one takes any offence to what I’ve written. I also hope it’s not too long or boring. Although I’m sure there’s plenty I’ve missed out as well.
There are so many myths and theories online about ED, and of course you can google, but in my experience nothing beats hearing about it from someone who has battled it and conquered it.
Thanks for reading