Thank you for reading, my sex life is an utter disaster and I’m at the end of my tether. I’m just venting really.
Im 44. Married. Have been with the same person for a long time. He’s lovely for the most part, loyal, kind etc
Except in bed. And I can’t take it anymore.
Sex is like a workout, for me mainly. I’m always in positions like a bloody backwards spider and mostly on top. All the time he’s got a finger poking me in the bottom which I hate.
When I’m underneath him, I’m on my front with my hair being pulled so hard I’ve got this uncomfortable unnatural arch in my back.
Sex goes on for ages…and ages…and ages. All the time my calves are burning, I’m sweating, I’m absolutely knackered and he’s sticking his phone in my face to film it.
And then, every single time it has to end in anal. And I hate anal. It leaves me bloated and often with acute tummy pains. Not to mention the horrible soreness and damp sticky feeling after.
He thinks he’s really generous because I orgasm. I don’t orgasm during anal, it’s usually towards the beginning of an ‘session’ and generally due to my own efforts.
And he wants me to talk to him when we’re having sex and tell him how much I turn him on. Well, that feels stupid when I’m praying for him to just fucking finish.
I know he’d be devastated if he read this. He has no idea how I feel. I’ve always tried desperately to please him, but over time he’s wanted more and more extreme.
He wants me dressed up. He wants to strangle me during (not really hard, but enough to piss me off actually). It’s never normal…and it’s never enjoyable.
I just end up feeling tired, sore, used and quite frankly violated.
I can’t do this anymore. He’s been texting me anticipatory messages all day and I don’t want to even come home. I feel sick.
I love him. He’s an amazing husband in every other way. But I don’t know if his brain is porn addled, or what, and I never thought I’d say this, but I hate sex. It’s gone too far.
I still want to have sex…I just want it to be normal, loving, low bloody effort for a change. Romantic. He would find that so boring.
Currently I’m a prop. A performing monkey. I don’t know what to do without just saying it and causing him a lot of embarrassment and upset. There’s nothing else for it though is there? There’s no easy way out of this.
I’m feeling desperate now. I’ve already feigned two headaches this week. I want to be treated like a loved wife.
If it all sounds awful, it’s because it is.
Sorry for that. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.