Oral sex

[ForCheekyMauveFox]

For my ladies reading this, I have no problem going down and find it adds to my own pleasure but is a lack of oral sex a deal breaker for you? If your partner was against giving, but still expected to receive?

Just curious on the female pysche on the matter lol

Not a dealbreaker but I do like it, when it’s good ha. I love giving it though so that would be good enough for me as long as he made up for it

Lucky man your fella then lol

If a fella wasn’t good at oral and you didn’t find yourself enjoying it, how would you expect him to make up for it?

It should have been! It was just one example of what made my husband a repressed prude! Looking back he was probably on the autistic spectrum and was quite cluelessly selfish in a lot of ways as well as some hypersensitivities. I do believe he didn’t like it, giving or receiving. A lot of these little things add up into both of us missing out on a lot of joy.

I’m making up for lost time😀

Any bloke who expects to receive what he isn’t prepared to give needs getting rid of!

Need to reciprocate the effort to eachothers needs 100% - Glad to hear things got better one way or another lol

Couldn't agree more!

💯

Anyone not prepared to go down would not cross the threshold into my boudoir.

It is part of that little “where are we going here” conversation before knickers come off.

Most of the sex I've had in my life starts with oral. If a man wasn't enthusiastic about that before the main course, he would not be for me! I think I'd actually be quite taken aback!

I am currently seeing a younger bloke I met on Shagslam. He isn't keen on going down on my kitty but of course he doesn't mind when I grab his cock and use it like a lolipop. Sex is a give and take in many cases.

Deal breaker here. I wouldn’t sleep with a guy who didn’t want to do oral and, to be absolutely honest, if he wasn’t any good at it I wouldn’t see him again.

Equally I enjoy giving BJs and would very much want to ensure my partner was enjoying that too.

This sounds quite different from give and take. It sounds like take without give.

Quality sex is about sharing!

They hooked up via a website called Shagslam. I doubt very much that he's bothered about her enjoyment!

I love to give, it's one of my favourite things to do. I am not too fussed about receiving, I like it of course, but its not essential. I genuinely get more pleasure from giving, I like make others feel good, tis a turn on for me.

You make it sound like an interview. Can’t be much of a turn on for a potential partner.

If a guy ticked every box for you but couldn’t orally perform would that really be enough to get rid? I mean I’m not judging i like a lady who gives a great bj so i get it

Depends on the person I suppose. Sexual compatability is important for a relationship to work long term, so setting it out early, while perhaps not a traditional approach, is a healthy way of seeing where you may go.

Could be fun!

Big Green flag for a lot of men lmao

But it is not all about what turns on a potential partner, it’s about 2 people. Conversations before sex with someone new are important. Contraception, condoms, expectations etc. lt’s when conversations are not had that problems occur, including potential pregnancy.

As un-romantic/un-sexy as it sounds, its actually a really good idea for a pre-sex conversation to happen, especially in today's day and age of internet dating, FWBs, situationships etc etc.

There would be nothing worse than getting down to it, only to discover neither of you have any contraception, or someone will point blank refuse to do something you might like (and rightly so for any reason they have). There will always be texception where a ONS might happen fairly spontaneously and things just happen. This could still be fun, or could go completely the other way due at, differing expectations.

But if I were single again now, I would definitely be having the discussion before anything were to happen.

Exactly, and this happens naturally about other things when you first meet someone. Personal rules are fine. You ask and learn about each other, regardless of how you meet. So why not do this when you are going to share your body with someone. There are other things l state too, for example, don’t push my head anywhere and don’t pull my hair.

MN has posts saying could l be pregnant, he won’t do this, she won’t do that etc.

You have conversations in other things in life before you do them, even when you go on a day out, so why not when someone else is going inside you?

Good oral skills are not really a given. For a good book about this, see:

She Comes First by Ian Kerner, PhD

So I guess that works the other way round for you then as well? If you are not prepared to give a blow job, should you recieve or do you live on a one way street? (Personally I love gling down on a women)

Never been in that situation. Happy to give and receive. I wouldn’t have sex with someone who would not go down on me and never come across a man refusing a blowie.

It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me I love giving my dh oral and he does give it to me I literally pounce on him most days 8 years together and still great