it's taking too long

[ForAmberBiscuit]

has anyone had problems with their male partner not finishing in a reasonable time? I am talking 40 minutes ish. I am bored sore and getting fed up. help and opinions please

Sounds like delayed Ejaculation , is he on any meds or SSRI ?

www.nhs.uk/conditions/ejaculation-problems/

When having sex regularly it could sometimes take me that long or if I’ve masturbated that day and had sex later in. Loads of different things play a part even if stressed or got something on my mind.
now it typically doesn’t take that long as me and my wife are less frequent that we used to be. Even now though after 5-10mins she will sometimes complain that I’m taking ages but other times she enjoys it.
one thing I would say is that he is obviously aware of this aswell so please don’t mention it during sex as he will be conscious of it and take even longer

he's not on meds and tbh we don't have sex that often due to distance. I am starting to question myself. I always thought I was pretty good in bed lol he's indestructible though. I have asked him to stop pleasuring himself although he says he doesn't do that 24 hours before we meet. I mean I am done after 25 mins max it's starting to feel like an endurance test

Does your partner know you think this way? Lots of press/media would suggest it would be good for men to last a long time, so he may be responding to that.

You may need to let him know it's better to finish sooner. And which you could help by more foreplay before 'entry'.

Him lasting long doesn’t mean that you’re bad in bed! So please don’t think that.
It might just be a case of it takes him longer than most.
Do you have a lot of foreplay before sex? I’ve found the more foreplay I have and seeing my wife orgasm before having sex can help me cum quicker aswell

thinking about it we have been cutting back on foreplay because I want to get the sex over with. I have made it clear to him I am finding it too long. I am too exhausted to finish him by hand afterwards and frankly needing a glass of wine lol

If he enjoys giving you attention and going down on you etc then let him spend abit more time doing that and it might help you aswell and help him cum a lot quicker. Changing positions frequently will also make him last longer, every time he stops it’s going to add a few minutes on

It doesn’t sound like it’s the ‘quantity’ that’s the issue but more so the quality.

You sound as though you find sex a chore, it shouldn’t be, it should be fun and exciting, even more so as you have a LDR.

40 minutes is definitely longer than average but it’s not obscenely long and a 40 minute session again isn’t way OTT.

my ex and I often had 2 hour sessions, we talked about what we wanted, what we liked, we would take breaks, we would each know and understand what turned us on and it worked perfectly. That said, we could also have, and we’re as equally happy with a 5 minute quickie.

Do you wank him beforehand

without going into detail I try every trick in the book other than a finger up. I think I am pretty slutty in the bedroom which he likes so I just don't get it. I ask him what he wants me to do etc it's annoying because I help him get me off by telling him what i want. he says "do you need to take a break" like I am cutting it off when we have been at it for ages. that then makes me feel like a failure. he is capable of cuming and is always horny. I have explained to him several times I can't go on for hours - I am 52 lol! I actually love sex but this is turning me off

Maybe find out some of his fantasies, some new ones or talk about some of your own while having sex. A little role play just try changing a variable or two. You could always take more control and be in charge of the speed and force so that it doesn’t hurt so much.

Any bloke who takes longer than a couple of minutes actual penatration has an issue imo

Fascinating.
How long would you say a woman should take to orgasm before she has an issue?

Oh well I couldn't tell you but from what I've been told many a woman doesn't have an O through penatration but a bloke who can't cum has a problem a woman who doesn't...doesn't

I have asked him to stop pleasuring himself although he says he doesn't do that 24 hours before we meet

Think this might be the problem, might be worth imposing a period of abstinence on him,

have a look at https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php

Maybe you need a bit more experience. Any bloke who finishes within 2 minutes and not being able to control it has a problem. IMHO that's premature ejaculation.

40 mins is a bit extreme though.

🤣

😳 I hope not! I need significantly more than “a couple minutes” of PIV.

Maybe a change in position can help - woman on top or doggy can feel more intense and speed things along. A bit of light anal stimulation for him (can just be v light touching/rubbing without inserting anything!) may also be effective as it's a sensitive area.

What kind of fucking nonsense is this now ?

Dazzler you are getting flack for this comment about 2 minutes but I kind of get where you're coming (...) from. Although I'd probably say 3.5 minutes. Because if he's really turned on then it's often an exercise in him trying not to come too quickly, because the natural process with no restraint really wouldn't take very long.

In my experience.

Thanks you! Yes if it's some kind of pounding procession it'll drag on all night but if it's fairy spontaneous and you are proper turned on it shouldn't last long . Neither me or the missus would be interested in things taking hours zzzzz

A bit different because most women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Due to anatomy, position etc, they often don't get that from penetration alone. Men orgasm through stimulation of the penis, which is what they're getting constantly when they are having sex.

in terms of this uninterrupted pounding theme (...) I would not go for hours of that, but what is perfectly pleasant is the max 3.5 mins to male orgasm (in my case no doubt matters arranged so that I come before or with him) and then a little rest, and then resumption of activities.
In this way, actual minutes added up of pounding might be a reasonable length of time, but spread out for example over the 24 hours available, allowing also for some sleep.