How to meet single men when you are mid fifties

Doubledded123 · 2024-08-29T21:20:46+00:00

Just that really. I'm 53 OLD is time consuming .... I'm just missing anyone touching me - it's been too long.

Atelier93 · 29/08/2024 22:31

Firstly, less of the old! 53 is probably considered closer to middle age than old age nowadays.
They do say with age comes experience. I know a lot of men, myself included, really appreciate that.

weathervane1 · 29/08/2024 22:53

@Atelier93 I think the OP's reference to OLD means OnLine Dating but I agree with you. I'm 59 and refuse to feel elderly.

Atelier93 · 29/08/2024 22:57

weathervane1 · 29/08/2024 22:53

@Atelier93 I think the OP's reference to OLD means OnLine Dating but I agree with you. I'm 59 and refuse to feel elderly.

Oops! Sorry I misunderstood. Thanks for correcting me!

MyBlueMentor · 30/08/2024 06:15

Definitely not old, I'm on the other side of this, Been trying online dating sites and have to say it's not going well, 47 male and recently Divorced and to say dating has changed is an understatement.

MiddleAgedDread · 30/08/2024 09:10

Late 40's, he's early 50's, we met through a hobby club. I wasn't even looking for a relationship, but very happy :)

AverageGuy · 30/08/2024 10:08

OLD is A) a minefield, B) very time consuming, and C) can get expensive - particularly of you decide to pay for extra "features", that end up doing nothing for you...

If you have a hobby or pastime you enjoy, see if there is a local club. Look at Meetup groups, take up a new hobby where there are likely to be men (dancing for instance)

And hang in there!

Joy69 · 30/08/2024 14:41

Watching this with interest as in the same boat. I have interests, but the men that take part are looking to chase their personal bests & don't chat. Someone at work showed interest, but then proceeded to message late at night. He was either after a booty call, ir a drinker 🙄.
Trying to keep the faith. I enjoy being single, but equally would like to share adventures with somebody. The cat doesn't cut it 😸

IalsoWantToHaveSex · 30/08/2024 15:52

Joy69 · 30/08/2024 14:41

Watching this with interest as in the same boat. I have interests, but the men that take part are looking to chase their personal bests & don't chat. Someone at work showed interest, but then proceeded to message late at night. He was either after a booty call, ir a drinker 🙄.
Trying to keep the faith. I enjoy being single, but equally would like to share adventures with somebody. The cat doesn't cut it 😸

The same can be said about women also.

I signed up to a few OLD sites including paid. I only got one response from all the women I messaged (starting with a simple hello).

Some required me to write a paragraph about myself and if they liked it, they would respond back. Jesus!

For me personally, it's just a waste of time.

Original poster

Doubledded123 · 30/08/2024 22:32

Exactly! Would be great to share interests with someone
Anc go for walks.... atm its just me and the teens and the cats!!

OP posts:

Catullus5 · 30/08/2024 23:21

Dance club, e.g salsa?

mnmnddddd · 01/09/2024 08:01

I'm thinking of starting a website for all the middle aged divorcees for whom O.L.D. doesn't work. 🤣

In all fairness, we mostly hear people asking why O.L.D. doesn't work. We don't hear people shouting about how it does.
I have at least 4 friends (2 female, 2 male) for whom it has worked and have heard of other friends of friends for whom it has.

I'm increasingly thinking it's more about how you use the sites that makes the difference. If you treat it like a fairytale romance novel, you're going to be disappointed. If you treat it like buying a vacuum cleaner on eBay, you've got a better chance. And even then, getting the winning bid is just getting a date - the vacuum cleaner might not be as described.

Sunflowergirl1 · 01/09/2024 08:29

Can't speak from personal experience as thankfully never done OLD. However my good friend has and it was awful. It was just full of pervy blokes with inappropriate messages.

She sacked it after a few days as meeting any of the huge crowd she seemed to attract was too daunting. What worked? Our friendship group....our single or divorced friends were always invited to socials....a BBQ and one of the group invited a single bloke who wasn't part of the group but thought he would fit in and had our good friend in mind. Didn't say anything but they naturally chatted and had a follow up drink.

Been together several years now. Almost arranged dating really but friends could assess compatibility objectively, ie nature, occupation etc. They are very happy so a nice outcome

OnthetracktoLondon · 02/09/2024 17:58

I’m a 52 year old female and getting nowhere with OLD. Tried it for a few years on and off. It’s dire. I just don’t seem to like anyone and it’s the same men time and time again. I don’t think it’s the right platform for me.

Really sad about it all.

Original poster

Doubledded123 · 07/09/2024 06:20

mnmnddddd · 01/09/2024 08:01

I'm thinking of starting a website for all the middle aged divorcees for whom O.L.D. doesn't work. 🤣

In all fairness, we mostly hear people asking why O.L.D. doesn't work. We don't hear people shouting about how it does.
I have at least 4 friends (2 female, 2 male) for whom it has worked and have heard of other friends of friends for whom it has.

I'm increasingly thinking it's more about how you use the sites that makes the difference. If you treat it like a fairytale romance novel, you're going to be disappointed. If you treat it like buying a vacuum cleaner on eBay, you've got a better chance. And even then, getting the winning bid is just getting a date - the vacuum cleaner might not be as described.

That's a good idea!! I'd like to organise single person sessions at my local gym and community centre
In fact i am going to look into this today! Proactively!

OP posts:

Idontjetwashthefucker · 07/09/2024 14:04

I'm recently 50 and recently single, not going near OLD so I'm not sure what the answer is

OnthetracktoLondon · 07/09/2024 16:35

Joined T again (the well known dating site) this morning. Just checked and got 99+ likes. Scrolled through and all of them just look well past it! I give up with it.

Is there anywhere else to meet someone at my age (52) as OLD is just dire!!?

Iveforgottenwhatitwas · 08/09/2024 09:01

Same position. I've just posted about this.
I'm social, plenty of opportunity to meet people naturally but it just doesn't happen. No single friends of friends. It just feels impossible.
The 1 guy I did meet and dated a while, just wasn't ready. Finding a late 40s 50 plus bloke is hard , finding 1 with his shit together even harder 🤷🏼‍♀️

millymoo1202 · 08/09/2024 15:27

I’m 52 and feel the same. I’ve had lots of coffee dates but just no spark. Met someone last week and we got on great, thought he was lovely, lots of messaging saying let’s do it again and then just silence. I did something I swore I wouldn’t I messaged saying you’d have been better off just saying I wasn’t feeling it. He came back saying he suffers from anxiety etc and not good in a relationship, that’s fine but just be honest and don’t be on a dating app saying long term relationship. I have found it soul destroying and it’s getting me quite down if I’m honest

Original poster

Doubledded123 · 08/09/2024 21:37

Ahh today all I saw were couples
Couples

And me cycling alone to my cinema date- alone ! Just sad really.

OP posts:

MyBlueMentor · 08/09/2024 21:45

Doubledded123 · 08/09/2024 21:37

Ahh today all I saw were couples
Couples

And me cycling alone to my cinema date- alone ! Just sad really.

Was much the same myself, Just seem to be going round in circles.

happygoluckyme2 · 08/09/2024 22:39

I'm surprised to see so many ladies struggling to find anyone. I thought it was just a guy thing.

AverageGuy · 09/09/2024 10:53

All, Keep at it, and keep your chin up.

It's definitely a minefield, but very possible to find decent, genuine people.

Zebedee999 · 09/09/2024 14:26

"Eyes across a room" always worked for me.
Wherever you are: museum, pub, hotel lounge, supermarket, swimming, at work, walking along.... if you see someone you like the look of then let your eyes linger on theirs for longer than is normally socially acceptable. This sends a clear signal. If they reciprocate then make it easy for them to chat to you my moving closer, being alone, smiling, more eye contact, whatever and hopefully a conversation will start.
I don't buy into all this join a salsa cub or whatever as after about 2mins you have sussed out who is there and that they are not for you.

YoureRockingTheBoat · 10/09/2024 13:25

I’m a similar age and have been enjoying online dating enormously. It is time consuming, I agree, but I’ve met some very diverting guys and had some really great sex. Everyone I meet teaches me more about how it works, so I’m leveraging my technique and spending much less time angsting about it. Someone said to me that he felt that the prevalence of OLD made him feel it was less socially acceptable to make a move on someone in real life. Sad to hear, but perhaps a cue to adapt to a new normal?

Liberty72 · 20/09/2024 19:19

mnmnddddd · 01/09/2024 08:01

I'm thinking of starting a website for all the middle aged divorcees for whom O.L.D. doesn't work. 🤣

In all fairness, we mostly hear people asking why O.L.D. doesn't work. We don't hear people shouting about how it does.
I have at least 4 friends (2 female, 2 male) for whom it has worked and have heard of other friends of friends for whom it has.

I'm increasingly thinking it's more about how you use the sites that makes the difference. If you treat it like a fairytale romance novel, you're going to be disappointed. If you treat it like buying a vacuum cleaner on eBay, you've got a better chance. And even then, getting the winning bid is just getting a date - the vacuum cleaner might not be as described.

Maybe you should start something on here!