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if you were a virgin again , would you lose your virginity in the same way as you did?

36 replies

BrickPoet · 10/04/2024 23:00

no for me

OP posts:
Maccar305 · 10/04/2024 23:20

No

B1rd · 10/04/2024 23:49

Yes. In a forest under the moonlight. Would rather not have so many stones next time! 😂

NinaOakley · 11/04/2024 00:08

Yes! To a respectful, considerate man I was seeing; taking in the chair, floor and single bed of my room in halls, one otherwise unremarkable Sunday afternoon half-way through my first year of university.
There had been a girlfriend in his life before me, but he was no college bike. Even at the tender age of 18 he not only wanted me to have a good time but knew how to make it happen. There really is no excuse for men being lazy lovers.
He was never going to be The One but he was A Good One and I’ve always appreciated him.
When the Friends Reunited website was a thing we briefly got back in touch. He married a girl with the same first name as me and their daughter and my dd2 have variations of the same, very unusual, name. Kind of makes me feel that we must have touched each others souls in some way.

bluerug · 11/04/2024 01:26

Yes
I was 16 and it was with my boyfriend I met wt college, also 16.
We fell in love very quickly and were besotted with one another.
We waited about 6 months, he wasn't a virgin but I was.

One night one thing led to another and it just happened naturally.

I remember this wonderful feeling washing over me when he went down on me, I didn't realise what it was at the time but now I know it was an orgasm.

We broke up and fell out quite badly, we just grew up into different people than we were when we met. We don't speak anymore and aren't in touch, but I do look back on the couple of years I spent with him very fondly.

Mumto3kidsletshavenomore · 11/04/2024 01:41

I was 16 years old, travelling back home on an overnight coach with a neighbour 14 years older than me. One thing lead to another whilst on the back on the coach and I conceived my eldest. Would I do it again, yes!

StarlightLady · 11/04/2024 07:55

Definitely! Except for the single bed.

It was around the time of my 15th birthday, ‘can’t remember if l was 14 or 15 at the time, l’m in my 40s now.

Hormones were bubbling. It was organised like a military operation when we knew his parents were going to be out. Elder sister was in on it and even drove me over there and back again for our non-spontaneous “celebration”. I still remember her asking afterwards “are you done?” 😀

MySXforumnn · 11/04/2024 16:48

I was 17, definitely a late starter among my friends.

It was a ONS with a female friend of another friend I was visiting who was at university at the time, who kind of set us up.

I lied and said it wasn't my first time, but it very quickly (pun intended) became apparent that it was!

I am genuinely ashamed that I lied like that, even though she said afterwards she still would have agreed if she had known, but would have been expecting it!

So no, I would have much preferred to have a different experience altho it didn't bother me that it was a ONS with a stranger.

BIWI · 11/04/2024 16:50

Yes. We were at university together, and we had been together for quite a long time, so it wasn't something we just rushed into - but because we knew we loved each other.

User36362537363344 · 11/04/2024 20:34

No definitely not. Wish I had a better experience. I know a lot of people say their first time was rubbish but I was 17, nearly 18 and my then 20 year old bf who had been sexually active since 14 himself so a lot more experienced and we had only been together a week. His bedroom was minging, he took the condom off and it was extremely painful. Looking back I should have waited. I felt like a late starter compared to my friends. Same boyfriend broke my heart and broke up with me on my 18th birthday. We was only together 3 months but I felt like my heart was shattered 🫣😂

Hoglet70 · 11/04/2024 21:24

It was a bit rubbish but it didn't scar me for life so don't see any point in changing it.

llamadrama16 · 12/04/2024 04:37

No, I was sharing a bed with an older 'friend' after a night out and he wouldn't take no for an answer, so eventually I just stopped resisting and let him.

Softskinrocks · 12/04/2024 07:03

Nope. First real boyfriend at uni. I told him I didn’t want to and he did it anyway.

Sorry Llamadrama16. There are some real shits out there.

TitInATrance · 12/04/2024 07:33

It wasn’t the best way but in the same circumstances I’d probably do it again.

llamadrama16 · 12/04/2024 12:29

Softskinrocks · 12/04/2024 07:03

Nope. First real boyfriend at uni. I told him I didn’t want to and he did it anyway.

Sorry Llamadrama16. There are some real shits out there.

I'm sorry you had a similar experience. It really messed with me for a few years.

macshoto · 12/04/2024 22:16

Probably not... at a university ball...

AltitudeCheck · 12/04/2024 22:21

No way! Although it was planned I was doing it because a lot of my friends were and I didn't want to be left behind or uncool. We did the deed stood up, doggy style in a barn next to the small Chapel in our village in January! It was impersonal and uncomfortable and a total anti climax and as he walked me home afterwards (it was a school night and I had a strict curfew) I remember feeling a bit shit and sad but not really sure why. We did it twice more and then, when the 3 pack of condoms was finished, he broke up with me.

DixonD · 13/04/2024 01:15

I would have to say yes because I’m married to him 😂

I was 21 and in his bedroom. It was a bit uneventful though. It soon got better. I guess that’s normal.

NewGirlinClass · 13/04/2024 10:47

No, I have never done it naked on a carpet since. Friction burns!!

StarlightLady · 13/04/2024 11:22

NewGirlinClass · 13/04/2024 10:47

No, I have never done it naked on a carpet since. Friction burns!!

Better than next to an ants nest! Although admittedly that wasn’t my first time!

nameofthemonth · 13/04/2024 12:25

Quite a few sad/regretful posts here.

For me - yes. But perhaps a bit earlier in the relationship. A month in rather than six?

Maybe get the first one out of the way and have a more relaxed relationship afterwards? Who knows it was quite a few years ago.

xpc316e · 13/04/2024 12:25

I lost my virginity at the age of 14 to my long-term girlfriend of the same age. We spent months and months working up to it and it was something we had discussed at length. I have no specific recollection of the night in question, but we stayed together for three years afterwards and had a great deal of fun in that time, so I suppose the answer must be a huge 'yes'. The woman in question still has a special place in my heart.

GigiAnnna · 13/04/2024 15:19

I was young and the guy was slightly younger so not experienced at. I wish I had gone with someone who knew what they were doing as for a few years after I lost it, I never realised how great sex could be and thought boring sex with no orgasm for the woman was normal. But I don't really regret it or anything as I feel like sex is meant to get better and better the more experience you have of it.

CuriositysCat · 13/04/2024 23:33

Yes and no. It was a very loving, respectful experience at the age of 17 with the man who went on to become (and still is) my husband. He was also a virgin, so no expertise on either side! We are still happy together, 25 years later.

BUT… There is a small part of me that wishes I’d slept with my previous boyfriend (together for 6 months aged 16 & 18). Also a great bloke and very sexy but I wanted to wait (for what?! I think now) and then we split when he went to uni. We are still in touch and I just wish I’d had that experience with him too.

Although I know that I am so lucky to have had this king and loving relationship with DH, there is part of me that is sad that I will probably go to my grave having only shagged the one man.

Cakencookieobsessed · 14/04/2024 00:01

Not really. It wasn't the best but we all move on to better things.

StarlightLady · 14/04/2024 07:15

CuriositysCat · 13/04/2024 23:33

Yes and no. It was a very loving, respectful experience at the age of 17 with the man who went on to become (and still is) my husband. He was also a virgin, so no expertise on either side! We are still happy together, 25 years later.

BUT… There is a small part of me that wishes I’d slept with my previous boyfriend (together for 6 months aged 16 & 18). Also a great bloke and very sexy but I wanted to wait (for what?! I think now) and then we split when he went to uni. We are still in touch and I just wish I’d had that experience with him too.

Although I know that I am so lucky to have had this king and loving relationship with DH, there is part of me that is sad that I will probably go to my grave having only shagged the one man.

@CuriositysCat - I think the problem is that so much is made of the first time, hence there are many people who regret waiting and as you say, for what? People focus on the wrong aspects of their first time when contraception and sexual health should be the prime consideration.

The issue is compounded by misogynistic language such as “lost virginity”. Anything lost can be found again. I certainly never felt l lost anything. And there was no risk of “one man syndrome”, when l became sexually active as a teen, l shagged 2 boys in my first week. I wanted to know what the difference felt like. And condoms were always used. I’m in my 40s now with a professional job and no regrets.

Mum (now deceased) always told sister and l, “if something isn’t making you feel nice, stop doing it”. She was annoyed when she first found out l was having sex. Not having sex per se, but that l hadn’t confided in her.

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