Casual sex/FWB | Mumsnet

OfcourseitsaNC · 26/02/2024 14:16

I met two very lovely FWB on

plentymorenaughtyfish

I'm still FWB with one of them 3 years on.

It's a hook up site. Lots of married men on there and kinks, but once you weedle out the nasties, I found a few decent men I was happy to meet up with.

Free for women to use too

MrRee · 26/02/2024 15:35

To be honest, I'd go with one of the main free apps such as Bumble or Tinder.

(I'd personally avoid hookup/cheating/kink sites because I find them tacky; also, if you're less confident, the whole experience might feel overwhelming.)

Lots of men on Bumble or Tinder would love a FWB type arrangement. As FWB implies something a bit more than one-off/casual, I'd tick the option for something like 'Let's See What Happens'. Then meet up, see if you like somebody, and see if there's a match in what you're hoping for.

I've found Bumble the best...

B1rd · 27/02/2024 16:41

Try Feeld. Like a dating app, but you are able to put that you'd like a FWB.

StarlightLady · 28/02/2024 05:59

Are the any situations where you could meet people in real life? Interest groups, evening classes etc? Or, i travel a lot for work and once in a while, that works for me. Then you experience the chemistry and see what you are getting. I’ve even followed up with some little holidays.

Or, do you have a suitable single friend, there is nothing wrong with having sex with a friend, providing you both know the score and a real friendship also comes with trust.

Now bring on the name calling. I’ve been told on MN before that they had names for girls like me when they were at school!

RoséProsecco · 28/02/2024 07:31

If you join Bumble, there are plenty of men using the "sex positivity" symbol - very easy to identify them.

TomorrowNeverKnows · 28/02/2024 08:06

StarlightLady · 28/02/2024 05:59

Are the any situations where you could meet people in real life? Interest groups, evening classes etc? Or, i travel a lot for work and once in a while, that works for me. Then you experience the chemistry and see what you are getting. I’ve even followed up with some little holidays.

Or, do you have a suitable single friend, there is nothing wrong with having sex with a friend, providing you both know the score and a real friendship also comes with trust.

Now bring on the name calling. I’ve been told on MN before that they had names for girls like me when they were at school!

Probably the best advice on here, don't rush into going digital for meeting people!

There are now "real live" events being arranged specifically for singles as people begin to realise the pitfalls of internet hook-ups.

DippingAToeIn · 29/02/2024 14:47

Well, I know this goes against the very sensible advice above, but I have found a lovely FWB on Feeld. I was clear in my bio that I wasn't looking for really kinky sex, more of a vanilla FWB situation. I had to filter out a lot of men but it was worth it for me. Choose profiles where they actually say something about themselves other than their sexual preferences. This was a green flag for me.

My policy is to always do a video call before meeting, and then do a 'date' so you get to meet them in person before being in a bedroom situation. Be safe, tell someone where you are, and if it doesn't feel right trust your gut.

If there's some kind of singles night near you though, give it a try. There was nothing near me at all.

AlwaysGreen · 01/03/2024 18:58

I'm in a same boat that I'm single, ideally looking for a relationship but not in a rush and in the meantime, would like some kind of FWB/FB. I'm mid-forties, and get lot of likes from younger men (31-37) so I assume lot of them would be after something like this. I've not matched with them yet, not sure how to approach it 😂

AlwaysGreen · 01/03/2024 18:59

@DippingAToeIn did you put your photos on feeld?

DippingAToeIn · 01/03/2024 21:50

AlwaysGreen · 01/03/2024 18:59

@DippingAToeIn did you put your photos on feeld?

I put some body photos (with underwear) as my public pictures, then I had some face photos which were only visible to people who matched x

DippingAToeIn · 01/03/2024 21:52

AlwaysGreen · 01/03/2024 18:58

I'm in a same boat that I'm single, ideally looking for a relationship but not in a rush and in the meantime, would like some kind of FWB/FB. I'm mid-forties, and get lot of likes from younger men (31-37) so I assume lot of them would be after something like this. I've not matched with them yet, not sure how to approach it 😂

I'm just honest about it from the first conversation. I let them know that right now I'm looking for something super casual and non-commital, then if that's not for them they can choose to unmatch. There's nothing to be ashamed of, just be honest about what you're looking for 🙂

AlwaysGreen · 01/03/2024 22:10

@DippingAToeIn thanks. I'll need to take some photos then... maybe not underwear but that show something 😆

DippingAToeIn · 01/03/2024 22:58

AlwaysGreen · 01/03/2024 22:10

@DippingAToeIn thanks. I'll need to take some photos then... maybe not underwear but that show something 😆

Edited

Hehe I was brave! I needed to be discreet due to my job, so it helped to be able to control who saw my face photos. Be prepared to do a lot of sifting through the hundreds of guys who will swipe on you. I only matched if someone was local and their profile actually showed something about who they were as a person, not just what type of kink they have. That tactic served me well - hope it works for you x

AlwaysGreen · 04/03/2024 12:16

I've had some luck with Tinder on this, one meeting planned. I'm also "talking" to other guy, who initiated the conversation, always replies but they're very short answers... bad communications skills (he's in early 30s) or not that interested... I'm leaning towards the latter.

Batfunk · 04/03/2024 13:49

@Diogenes69 @AlwaysGreen I would think plenty of men would be absolutely delighted to get an approach like that - I'd imagine the biggest issue you'd have is sorting the wheat from the chaff. There's some good advice here and the big thing to remember is that you've got the power and you can afford to be picky so take your time and make sure you find a good one (or two, or twenty depending on your preference!). Good luck and enjoy!

Original poster

Diogenes69 · 04/03/2024 14:50

Anyone used Adult Friend Finder?

OP posts:

AlwaysGreen · 27/03/2024 23:00

@Diogenes69 did you try it?

MySpecialFriend · 31/03/2024 11:39

I'm in a similar situation. Female 52 and 4 years out of a long, sexless marriage (simply because I wasn't attracted to him and it became nothing more than friendship). Marriage ended when I got involved with someone else (also married) and we are still great friends (at a distance) but he decided to make his marriage work (by which point I was head over heels with him). I suddenly had a life changing revelation about my marriage and realised why I'd been so deeply unhappy for years (and tried to hide it).

I have tried for a couple of years to find someone else, for a long term relationship, with no joy as the chemistry just wasn't right. Plus, as I said, I have feelings for someone I can't have. Good job he lives 200 plus miles away. In all of this time, I am living a lonely life (still) and am a fairly attractive woman for my age. I'm missing out, and have missed out for years. It's getting me down. I cry at night. I need to live! I crave affection, intimacy and, well, friendship and companionship (someone I can spend a bit of time with and have fun). Just on and off, for now. I've started thinking about a FWB situation (especially as I have a 16 year old still at home, who will be off to university in a couple of years). I'm very much a passionate woman but only with a man who makes me feel like that, so not sure a FWB situation would work for me but, at the same time, I feel like a catholic nun and think I need to learn to separate emotions and enjoy what happens. It might put a smile on my face!

I'd only be interested in an exclusive FWB situation. Where's the best place? Is there a website where I can hide my pics/face? I'm
in a professional job so discretion is needed.

Slartiblartfast · 31/03/2024 13:09

IE and POF are mentioned here a lot but seem to be UK focused.
Does anyone know of any more European sites - Belgium specifically ?
"Friends" say that AFF is full of willy wavers and false profiles :(

DippingAToeIn · 01/04/2024 12:50

MySpecialFriend · 31/03/2024 11:39

I'm in a similar situation. Female 52 and 4 years out of a long, sexless marriage (simply because I wasn't attracted to him and it became nothing more than friendship). Marriage ended when I got involved with someone else (also married) and we are still great friends (at a distance) but he decided to make his marriage work (by which point I was head over heels with him). I suddenly had a life changing revelation about my marriage and realised why I'd been so deeply unhappy for years (and tried to hide it).

I have tried for a couple of years to find someone else, for a long term relationship, with no joy as the chemistry just wasn't right. Plus, as I said, I have feelings for someone I can't have. Good job he lives 200 plus miles away. In all of this time, I am living a lonely life (still) and am a fairly attractive woman for my age. I'm missing out, and have missed out for years. It's getting me down. I cry at night. I need to live! I crave affection, intimacy and, well, friendship and companionship (someone I can spend a bit of time with and have fun). Just on and off, for now. I've started thinking about a FWB situation (especially as I have a 16 year old still at home, who will be off to university in a couple of years). I'm very much a passionate woman but only with a man who makes me feel like that, so not sure a FWB situation would work for me but, at the same time, I feel like a catholic nun and think I need to learn to separate emotions and enjoy what happens. It might put a smile on my face!

I'd only be interested in an exclusive FWB situation. Where's the best place? Is there a website where I can hide my pics/face? I'm
in a professional job so discretion is needed.

Hi there! I use the Feeld app. I don't put face pics on my public profile, and I explain in my bio that it's because of my job. Then once I've matched someone and I'm convinced they aren't linked to my work I share my face pic with them. It's worked fine for me so far. Because Feeld doesn't have a verification process if advise asking any matches to verify by sending a photo of them doing thumbs up or something.

I've had good experiences so far on Feeld. I unmatch at the slightest hint of a red flag. I've come across many genuine people just looking for FwB. Good luck! Happy to be DMd about this

AlwaysGreen · 01/04/2024 14:32

@DippingAToeIn what kind of photos you put in feeld? Full body clothes, underwear or just normal dating app ones (without face ofc)

DippingAToeIn · 01/04/2024 14:48

AlwaysGreen · 01/04/2024 14:32

@DippingAToeIn what kind of photos you put in feeld? Full body clothes, underwear or just normal dating app ones (without face ofc)

I did have an underwear one, but I've changed now to a swimsuit one and just a normal photo of me with my head cropped off

LaraCooper · 02/04/2024 22:08

Diogenes69 · 26/02/2024 13:59

Hi,

I’m in the situation where I’m single but do want to have sex and I miss having it. I’ve been single for a long while now and just can’t seem to meet someone. What are the best websites/apps to use for meeting people? The ones I’ve looked at have lots of obviously fake profiles or expensive. Any other suggestions for meeting like minded people? I think I would prefer a FWB but not sure how to go about it? I not that confident.

just wondering if anyone could share their experience using such apps with me?

Thanks

Did you try bumble and tinder?

GuyNextDoor44 · 03/04/2024 23:41

Hello,

Have been following this post with interest - effectively I am in the same situation as some of you, but as a single guy now looking for some female company after a long marriage. Not really looking for a relationship at this stage (maybe in the future) but for now, just want someone to share a combination of decent company e.g. meals, theatre/film outings etc. as well as some more sexy times....

I have signed up to a couple of sites, but have had virtually no responses....I am wondering whether some of the females on here actually exist, or whether there are lots of fake profiles? I have been polite and respectful, steering clear of anything overtly sexual, not bombarding people with lots of messages, have shared clothed and face pics privately, and a blurred pic in the profile, tried to strike up an initial conversation via message with a view to exploring a connection etc. and yet virtually nothing back. Not sure where I am going wrong?

I realise I am not amazingly rich, or a greek adonis, but would like to think at worst I am average, and a fairly normal person, reasonably intelligent, several interests/hobbies, half-decent job etc. They say nice guys never get anywhere, and so it would appear, or perhaps I've just been unlucky.

Any ideas? Does this tally with what others have experienced (either from a male or female perspective?

Thank you.

OkBigBoy · 04/04/2024 01:03

GuyNextDoor44 · 03/04/2024 23:41

Hello,

Have been following this post with interest - effectively I am in the same situation as some of you, but as a single guy now looking for some female company after a long marriage. Not really looking for a relationship at this stage (maybe in the future) but for now, just want someone to share a combination of decent company e.g. meals, theatre/film outings etc. as well as some more sexy times....

I have signed up to a couple of sites, but have had virtually no responses....I am wondering whether some of the females on here actually exist, or whether there are lots of fake profiles? I have been polite and respectful, steering clear of anything overtly sexual, not bombarding people with lots of messages, have shared clothed and face pics privately, and a blurred pic in the profile, tried to strike up an initial conversation via message with a view to exploring a connection etc. and yet virtually nothing back. Not sure where I am going wrong?

I realise I am not amazingly rich, or a greek adonis, but would like to think at worst I am average, and a fairly normal person, reasonably intelligent, several interests/hobbies, half-decent job etc. They say nice guys never get anywhere, and so it would appear, or perhaps I've just been unlucky.

Any ideas? Does this tally with what others have experienced (either from a male or female perspective?

Thank you.

The fact you use ‘females’ and talk about ‘nice guys’ tells me instantly you’re probably a walking red flag (if not a troll)