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Friends with benefits

39 replies

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 27/01/2024 23:12

Had the best Fwb set up a few years ago, we got on well, would hang out together but no romantic connection, see each other a few times a week/fortnight, no pressure.
How do I find something similar again now, are there apps/sites best for this?
Not in a place to date, one night stands aren’t for me, not sure if I’m looking for the impossible tbh.

OP posts:
GentlemanJay · 27/01/2024 23:22

I've had two such relationships. We didn't meet that often though. A weekend together every month or so. One lasted two and a half years, the other a year. Both went off to pursue more permanent relationships. They were both brilliant while they lasted.

I met them on Fab but it's much harder now. Like a needle in a haystack. Lol

B1rd · 28/01/2024 15:04

I met my FWB on Fab. But I'd been messaging him for over a year before we actually met up. We live a distance away from each other. So only meet up every other month but message several times a day.

Feeld might be an option for you. It's a slightly alternative dating app.

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 29/01/2024 00:26

Thanks both - fab as in fab swingers?
Will look into feeld too.
How best to tackle photos on those sorts of sites/what sort of approach to take in your profile as it feels slightly different to a bumble or match profile might be!
Its occurred to me I’ve had a few fwb situations and actually they’ve always been far more enjoyable than my attempts at relationships 🫣

OP posts:
B1rd · 29/01/2024 07:31

On Feeld, add photos as you would on a dating app.

On Fabswingers, I would suggest as soon as you've signed up go to 'Account' and then 'privacy settings' and 'hide your profile'. Then have a look around. You'll get hundreds of messages as soon as you sign up.
There are 2 sections for photos. One for the public and then one for friends. You can also add photos via messages, so face photos don't need to be uploaded onto your profile.

StarlightLady · 29/01/2024 08:11

OP, do you have any single friends who could fit the bill?

Sometimes sex with a good friend can work, as the trust is there. Two (or more) special friendships can avoid complications.

TheCadoganArms · 29/01/2024 09:00

Plenty of apps and you will get hundreds of cut and paste messages and dick pics. There are definitely some fun, attractive, respectful people out there but it is a slog getting through the attached, timeswaters and general fuckwits first.

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 30/01/2024 09:35

Well Fab is a whole new experience 😂 Thankyou so much for the tip about hiding your profile once signed up, think mine was live for about 5 mins and I had several messages as predicted. Makes me laugh, I live in the middle of nowhere, regular online dating there’s no options but last night literally hundreds.
Can anyone help me with some abbreviations though please - TV/TS and 420?

OP posts:
MySXforumnn · 30/01/2024 10:19

TV = Transvestite
TS = Transexual
420 = weed

StarlightLady · 30/01/2024 10:32

Perhaps you need to keep looking OP 😀?

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 30/01/2024 10:58

Thanks for explaining the abbreviations :)
someone I already know would be preferable but the only option is a previous fwb and I’m not mad keen on revisiting (10 years later!) appreciate I’m probably not the normal fab user but I don’t mind wading through to see what comes up (no pun intended 😂 )

OP posts:
MySXforumnn · 30/01/2024 11:04

No worries.

Good luck, I tried FAB a couple of times, but it seemed to be full of timewasters and I could never get beyond messages.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 30/01/2024 13:20

I met my fwb through work 🤣
Same sex so nobody really bats an eyelid that we meet up regularly

mrandmrsrobinson · 30/01/2024 13:59

Try POF

PinotPony · 30/01/2024 20:40

Killing Kittens

TheCadoganArms · 30/01/2024 21:00

PinotPony · 30/01/2024 20:40

Killing Kittens

Not Pounding Puppies?

B1rd · 30/01/2024 23:37

You are very welcome. Let your profile sit for a week, then open it. You will have missed the "new People".

Expect respect as you would on a dating site. Good luck!

CallmePaul · 03/02/2024 23:59

Bloke here, similar situation, wouldn't know how to go about it, looked at Ashley Maddison but I'd rather not be having an affair & fair few escorts on there it seemed.

Offwiththecircus · 04/02/2024 01:34

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 04/02/2024 09:44

There’s definitley alsorts on FAB. Had a few enquiries from married men, some in open relationships some not, that’s not for me. Had some of the standard boring hi xx type messages but also a couple of guys who seem ok and actually appear to have read my profile so we’ll see if anything comes of it.
Not in a place to date - not long broken up with my ex and I’ve taken it pretty hard tbh. Realised I have terrible taste in men too and that actually I’m very happy single, I have a pretty full life with work and hobbies and I’m quite happy doing things on my own, I just miss the physical side of things.

OP posts:
Offwiththecircus · 04/02/2024 11:33

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 04/02/2024 09:44

There’s definitley alsorts on FAB. Had a few enquiries from married men, some in open relationships some not, that’s not for me. Had some of the standard boring hi xx type messages but also a couple of guys who seem ok and actually appear to have read my profile so we’ll see if anything comes of it.
Not in a place to date - not long broken up with my ex and I’ve taken it pretty hard tbh. Realised I have terrible taste in men too and that actually I’m very happy single, I have a pretty full life with work and hobbies and I’m quite happy doing things on my own, I just miss the physical side of things.

thanks for reply.
Am not sure that it's possible to pre-filter out one-night stands to be honest with something that's just physical, though no harm telling men that you are ideally looking for something longer lasting. Seems inevitable to me that you can't have a firm contract, both parties after the deed (includes you of course) free to continue or not. Hopefully while being nice.

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 04/02/2024 12:21

Oh yes, absolutely aware that someone may well say looking for an ongoing situation then I never hear from them again. That’s life, it happens, I would just rather try avoid sleeping my way around the internet if I can.

OP posts:
Offwiththecircus · 04/02/2024 13:11

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 04/02/2024 12:21

Oh yes, absolutely aware that someone may well say looking for an ongoing situation then I never hear from them again. That’s life, it happens, I would just rather try avoid sleeping my way around the internet if I can.

or you of course yourself may choose to enjoy the memory but move on.
anyway, best of luck.

autumn1610 · 06/02/2024 20:44

Feeld is where I found a FWB (I have a post about that one!) but I found it a good place to match with guys I was actually attracted too and didn’t have many creepy ones (just some dick heads after meeting up)

Isanyonereallyanonymous · 13/02/2024 23:40

So I’m back with a dilemma I didn’t think I’d have on FAB.
Swapped messages with a guy all ok but he basically sounds like he’s actually after a girlfriend, which is not where I’m at.
Admittedly it makes a change from the married men whose wives don’t know they’re on their or just a dick pic but yeah, not an issue I thought I’d have from this site.
Even if we take the girlfriend/part time gf thing out of the equation I think the bigger issue is he’s also mentioned a few things about him that have really given me the ick.
I’ve cooled right down on the messages but he’s not got the hint.
Supposed to be meeting on Friday but I’m not up for it - but I am not good at this, what do I say please?!

OP posts:
GentlemanJay · 13/02/2024 23:43

Very easy. You can block him and never have to speak to him again or, tell him you've changed you mind. You don't owe anyone anything on Fab.

Lots of needy men even on Fab. Lol.

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