First threesome- advice needed!

[NervousButExcited]

I've namechanged but have been on Mumsnet for years.

I'm having my first threesome (MMF) this coming week and I am so nervous! My sex life has been pretty vanilla up to this point so this is a big, big deal to me.

Any tips, advice etc from those more experienced, male or female, would be greatly appreciated!

There’s a post further down “to try this threesome” which you may find useful.

Thanks JTRSOP

Hopeful bump!

Only advice I can give is
Set the ground rules/ boundaries before any clothes come off
Relax and enjoy it

Dont get drunk!
Pay both M equal amounts of attention, if one is your partner make it 55/45 in his favour
Set ground rules beforehand

Set a timer?? 😂😂😂

lots of 3some talk on mn thesedays, not many people talking about their experiences afterwards, as someone who's done it I didn't know it was this popular...

maybe one of those chess timers could be used.

+1

Well I did it! Very good fun and I would definitely like to repeat the experience 😊

Thank you for all the advice and suggestions- the chess timer made me laugh!

Congratulations
so good to hear that it was such a positive experience, especially after your anxiety.
I would be keen to hear how you managed to negotiate your way through the anxiety. If your not keen to do so here, then perhaps you could PM me your tips

We did this a few years ago pre kids when we were just a couple. Something we had spoken about / thought about for a while. We decided if we were to do it it had to be with someone completely separate from our usual lives. So chose to explore this when on holiday in Australia. (not deliberatly picking furthest away place!) It was a bit nervous, but then the actual threesome was for us really powerful and amazing. Incredible turn on for both of us. We did it that once and haven't done it since. But left us with some good memories. Key for us was having the separation and not with someone we knew so both could let go and enjoy it without worrying about seeing person again. Hope this helps.

Just read post-coital and thought how wonderful no one tried to dissuade, it's natural to err on the side of caution, but if secure in your relationship nothing wrong with adventurous. And great that crave such loving indulgence again. The potential of the pleasure was definitely worth the risk. Congrats. Just a shame there's not a club broach to wear to denote the daring of. Finest wishes for your future escapades.

We're 59, long time married, very secure and seriously considering this too. YOLO and all that. Thanks for the thread OP.

Great thread. As always I’d say take it slow and talk talk talk. Any third guy worth his salt will respect that.

key to get the dynamic right ie is this a straight threesome, cuckold etc

and enjoy but safely

x

@NDerbys32
I'm 59, absolutely! We're never too old :-)

Go for it! I'm younger but my partner is 57 and he loved it 😊

@NervousButExcited did you already know the other mate?

@MrsToriCostner no we didn't, he was a complete stranger we met on the Internet. I think its easier that way, rather than someone you already know...

@NervousButExcited what happens when it's over? Do you all hang out or does the 3rd person leave straight away?

@MrsToriCostner I guess it varies... but for us we didn't hang out, the third left and we spent more time without him so we could 'reconnect'. It really made us feel very emotionally close, I was surprised!

Sorry I'm really intrigued by this but how do you work out the guidelines? Do you have a discussion beforehand about dos and dont's? Also, do you have to specify who's allowed to do what to who?

@MrsToriCostner we had a long discussion beforehand regarding dos and don'ts and agreed the basics of who could do what to who, that made sure there were no shocks and everyone was comfortable all the time. I believe some people meet in person or over facetime but we used WhatsApp.

Remember a good third party will be happy to take it at your pace. Any pressure, urging or rushing are all red flags!

sometimes it can take a lot of calls and coffee meets to progress to the deed.

Our first time was a guy at work. It worked out but I’d very much reccomend a stranger. It was perfect and luck played out but we were naive and it could have gone very wrong!!

We also had a 'third party' who was a good friend of my OH, we found the fact that he knew us so well to enhance everything.