Morning sex / wake up call

[mnmnddddd]

It's 5am.
The alarm clock won't go off for an hour.
You / your partner is horny and restless.
Your partner / you are asleep.
How do you / your partner wake the other for sex?

I know everyone is different, communication is everything, but I don't have anyone specific to ask at the moment, and I frequently wake early, so I'm just wondering what other people feel is effective / acceptible.

Don't get me wrong- the cup of tea isn't instead of sex! It's in addition to. But DP benefits far more if I'm fully awake before sexy time 😁

Would coffee not be better? Caphine rather than a diuretic? Or maybe that's just my middle aged bladder first thing in the morning. 😭

Sometimes the diuretic effect on me would really start my bloke off. He would want me to leave the door open. It was the sound he liked.
I hope no one is shocked by my confession.

Don't worry. I'm pretty sure there was a thread about golden showers recently. 🤣🤣🤣

@mnmnddddd Were you thinking of times gone by when you started This Thread?

Nah. I'm Old School. Tea all the way.

Anyone who thinks it's acceptable to wake me up at 5am for sex can fuck right off as far as I'm concerned. At 7 they can start kissing my back and not a minute before.

If I wake up horny in the early hours, I'll usually slip an arm around DP's waist and nuzzle his neck a little. If he stirs or responds, I'd continue. If he kept snoring, I'd leave him be.

I think couples in an established relationship have either explicitly discussed what's ok or understand each other well enough to know what reaction they'd get.

@throwawaymuse Please explain a freeuse a little for me? I’ve not heard that term before.

I had a girlfriend once who encouraged me to have PIV with her while she was asleep. I never did because:

1. What you think you'd like when you're horny is different from what you want in real life when you're asleep (so consent can change)
2. In my mind having sex with a sleeping person feels a bit necrophiliac
3. If she was asleep, then the chances are that I was too

Every couple will have their own understanding about consent, what it means and how it is established. If you haven't discussed this explicitly with your partner, then you should. Don't rub your bits together with someone with whom you can't discuss sex openly and comfortably - it makes sex soooo much more fun if you establish that level of intimacy

I have told my DW I am more than happy to be woken up anytime for sex as I would never refuse it. Sleep is not that important!
Now & again she will bring me a cup of tea before 6am which I know is 'the sign' but this is usually after she has rejected everything for the previous few nights.
Most of the time we would just agree that it's too late when we go to bed, so let's have an 'early morning'.
She prefers sex in the morning, but I find it quite a rush & would prefer evening sex, but I will always compromise & take whatever she would prefer.

I have absolutely no problem being woken up for sex, however early it may be. I have mentioned it to my partner. If I am horny, I like to stroke my partner's back or chest and just enjoy the feeling. If he wakes up, its a bonus.

@throwawaymuse I hope its OK to ask - is your free use partof a Ds relationship?

Thanks.

@throwawaymuse thanks, I imagined it was something along those lines. I have told my partner much the same, he’s allowed to to do as he pleases, if he wants sex he can have it, he doesn’t necessarily have to work me up for it and it doesn’t have to be the traditional give and take. For example he always stops himself and asks if we want to move positions so I can finish, and I keep telling him he can just use me and get what he wants without having to put me at the forefront all the time. I love watching him lost in the moment and just enjoying himself but he definitely feels obliged to check in. Maybe it’s just like a wall he needs to get past. Same for me perhaps, I sometimes check I’m ok to carry whatever I’m doing just in case he didn’t feeling it. I’m naturally more submissive and the idea of him being able to do as he pleases makes me really happy. Perhaps I will introduce the free use concept to him and see where it goes. Thanks x

I am not in any sort of a BDSM relationship but have let my DP know that I am pretty much up for it at all times. I enjoy sex, even when it's a less hormonal time of the month or day and I am less likely to come. He occasionally has woken me up for "sleepy sex" or we've done it as I'm dropping off in the evening. It's one of my favorites - I don't have to make any effort I can just lie back, half-awake, and let him enjoy himself with my body. He does always like to see a little bit of enthusiasm at the start (despite my protestations that he'd be welcome even if I was genuinely asleep) as he says knowing I have consented to each event is vital to him. Generally he will do a bit of neck kissing until I roll over and kiss back and once that has happened he is happy to continue without me having to be too active in the whole process.

Obviously we have plenty of sex with lots of activity on my part too... this is just a little bit of bonus fuckery!

It's clearly a pretty broad spectrum and it's good to see a variety of responses, I expect most people fall somewhere in the middle of "consent needed before you even touch" to "feel free to have sex with me when I'm asleep".
I think I'm probably somewhere in the middle and similar to @PinotPony, usually a cuddle initiated by either of us and see what happens. Sometimes we both fall back asleep, sometimes hands will wander and things progress. I think knowing each other, and what subtle body movements mean, is the key here.

It's been a while and a half, but I'm pretty sure I know exactly where you're coming from.

I hate being woken up for anything, and we could have sex anytime...my nesting partner might try sometimes by snuggling but I'm generally not interested. I give my dom permission to inflict pain on me anytime, but I like my sleep (luckily he doesn't share my bed so no danger of anything there)

The issue it seems turns on the fact that these words are in the OP
"is horny and restless"
even if you have a very spontaneous rip each others clothes off as soon as there is an opportunity type relationship, the thing about being in what might even be a very deep sleep and suddenly finding yourself being expected to have sex is that you cannot just assume the person waking up / being woken up will be able to give their wholehearted and enthusiastic consent. Having said that you might have a relationship where the understanding/communication and consent is already there and so its ok. But if you don't you cannot really assume something like "their eyes were open, they spoke some words to me, they did not say no, good to go"