Sexting to reality confidence wobble

[Shitsandwiches]

I met a guy last week in the pub - I was out with my friend and we ended up hooking up with this guy and his friend. Had a good night watching the rugby and then I ended up snogging him...alot, and giving him my number. He was really full on and into me which was as intoxicating as the vat of wine I'd drunk! We started occasional texting which has now become hot and steamy sexting and omg - I think he's going to be my first sexual encounter in 6 years.

BUT i'm 47. He's 31. We haven't talked about our ages and I don't want to. He referred to me as a hot sexy girl in one of our texting sessions and I just thought oh dear, hardly!! The sexting has been insane but I'm thinking I'm going to be a disappointment with my stretchmarked stomach and cellulite - i've spent years being a safe hermit after my divorce I know I need to get out there, but I'm nervous!! Any confidence tips or even sex tips as I had a shit marriage and then nothing so I'm a novice! Thank you :)

Either he's got a fair idea of what age you are and he still fancies you. Or he thinks you're young. Either way it's a positive sign, so I wouldn't worry. If you are really stressing, then just casually let him know your age. Do it in a way that doesn't come across as insecure though, because he's probably finding your confidence very attractive at this point. Have a blast!

Hot sexy girl? You must like him a lot to be able to get past that. 😬

I’m sure he’s aware that you’re a older than him so I wouldn’t worry about that. How do you know his age if you’ve not talked about it?

See what happens, I don’t think you need sex tips at 47, just do what you want to do, don’t do what you don’t want to do.

Do you really need to know each others age? Does it really matter?

I would turn this around, if you can. Build your inner confidence & think about it from his point of view: how lucky is he to be having sex with you?! Don't you be worrying about stretch marks & don't be pointing them out to him, you don't need to. We all have insecurities, he probably just wears his on the inside! Approach this with confidence & enthusiasm and enjoy every minute of it. You've probably built some lovely anticipation with the texts. Enjoy getting together & finding out what each other likes. If it goes well, you can continue to see each other and if it doesn't, treat it as a useful experience!
Let us know how you get on.

If it’s only a bit of fun I don’t think you need to discuss your ages.

All you need is enthusiasm. It doesn’t matter if you’re nervous; I’m sure that won’t last long, if he’s a nice guy.

haha!! Yeah it shocked me but it was said as we were talking about meeting that night 'i was just minding my own business and then there was this hot sexy girl in front of me'

I looked him on FB - I was doing my GCSEs when he was born 😂

Oh thank you @Whatliesbeneath707 really lovely advice. Eeek!!! Ok I will not point them out and just keep acting as confident as possible - and will let you know how it goes haha - he's got a fair few cobwebs to blow away first before he sees the stretchmarks!

Thank you DixonD you're right - I just cringed when I looked him up and realised how much younger he is - but it's not inappropriate young I guess so yes, no need to mention it - I just don't want him asking questions about me, how old my kids are etc I'll just say I don't want to talk about my kids...in a fun sexy way obvs😜

Thanks @MarcoVanBastard right yes its all about the confidence, got to just remember that and mask as much as possible when feeling anxious! haha

This man has eyes in his head, you ARE a sexy girl to him never mind this “hardly” nonsense! The bloke sounds into you and it’s worth a shot. Have fun!

Given your experience, would you consider one shag with him was one more than you wouldn't get otherwise?
If yes: Go for it.

haha yeah totally @Janinejones nothing else on offer out there right now.

Thank you @JoanMacIntosh !

He wants to meet up tomorrow night 😬

Good luck! How exciting!

haha thanks @DixonD ooh the nerves have kicked in now though!

I wanted to be a more spontaneous person and get out there, and now here I am unexpectedly just going with it, because although I'm nervous I think I need to have this experience.

I was thinking of saying 'I've had 2 children so obviously my bikini modelling days are over....' but I won't I'm going to really really try not to mention the fact that my stomach looks like a flabby walnut...

Please don’t lead with that! Can you find lingerie that’ll help you feel confident? I figure that if a man likes you with your clothes on he’ll like you even more with them off. Good luck by the way, how exciting!

I think I'd better pop to M&S - go all Shirley Valentine!

You clearly are gorgeous and sexy, to him. Own it! 😘

Don't worry about the age thing. My DP is 18 years younger than me and he was totally enthusiastic when we got together. A recently divorced friend of mine recently hooked up with a much younger guy and reported that it did her confidence the world of good.

You'll have a great time, I'm sure.

Don’t say anything negative about yourself. Be confident- he’s obviously keen, and you should be proud of how you look.

Don't mention anything about your body! Confidence is sexy. Even if you're cringing inside, stick your tits out and smile!

If he’s a decent guy, what you look like underneath your clothes won’t be an issue. We all have different bodies that give us our individuality. Meeting a man who is fully accepting of your body does amazing wonders for your confidence.
I wish you a finger-licking good time, pun intended!

After I got divorced I got two pieces of advice from friends.

1. Fake it til you make it.. Ie even if you're not feeling so - pretend to be confident

2. Get some confidence being naked when alone first. You've only got one evening - but What I did was after bath or shower I just wondered round my bedroom naked while I did my hair or whatever. Doing this for a short while when I knew no one was watching helped me immensely when it actually came to getting naked in front of someone new.

Also - a new set of underwear can do wonders for your confidence if you pick something that makes YOU feel good. Hope it works out to be as much fun as the sexting. ;)

Sounds like just a bit of fun. If that's all you want then just go for it.

Oh thank you so much everyone for the much needed pep talk and boost - really helpful advice xx

So i've bought a black bra, lacy pants.....and hold-up stockings eeekk

I'm not going to say anything about my insecurities and will focus on this being for my enjoyment rather than the old negative self talk.

I will let you know how it goes :D

OP, you promised us an update. Did he cancel? Sorry if he did.

Sorry!! I ended up too busy to get on MN yesterday.

So, yes we hooked up, we had a couple of beers, it was a little nervy to begin with but then we had a fairly decent chat and there was some common ground other than the sexting which was what I was nervous about.

Then it got flirty, then we went to a hotel, I said I wanted to keep the lights off, we laughed about it, and OMG 3 hours of good fucking commenced! I didn't stay the night, I did the walk of shame home in the wee hours.

Eeeek - he wants to see me again, I do too but I like that this is a fuckbuddy situation, my life's complicated, so is his. I might even turn the lights up a bit next time!

Wow. Well done! I’m glad you had a great time and managed to enjoy yourself.