What actually is VANILLA sex?

[partypant]

I know it's all relative and there is no set rule book but what do most people think vanilla constitutes?

Oral?
Several basic positions?
Incorporation of simple toys?

I feel like what is thought of as vanilla is further along the spectrum than it would have been 25 years ago.

What is it called if it's not vanilla but not full on kink? Is there a name?

My ex husband was what I consider vanilla. Sex in different positions, oral, but I was not allowed toys other than a cock ring once for him and that’s as spicy as it got!
He was so paranoid and jealous he was convinced I would prefer a vibrator over real cock. I once mentioned I found women attractive and he had a meltdown… every argument till we divorced he called me a lesbian.

My partner now has done a of things sexually lot including swinging (although we don’t) so he’s much more liberated thank god!

That's not vanilla, that's just an abusive, jealous man.

@Roui - Sounds like good riddance. I cannot understand men who are jealous of a vibey. Every woman should have at least one. But oh, his double standards 😣.

agree, but some of the women on here (actually seem to be rather a lot unless there is frantic name changing) could cut some of the men some slack, who, shock horreur:
fantasise now and again
have a private wank
look at porn

as for vanilla, a long term ex of mine was very vanilla, so much so that she couldn't actually admit to me and herself that she actually rather liked some of the not quite vanilla stuff I did now and again (when I dared)
and wouldn't reciprocate, as of course she didn't really like it (or wouldn't admit to)

as for vanilla, a long term ex of mine was very vanilla, so much so that she couldn't actually admit to me and herself that she actually rather liked some of the not quite vanilla stuff I did now and again (when I dared)
and wouldn't reciprocate, as of course she didn't really like it (or wouldn't admit to)

Or you told yourself she liked it so you could do it anyway. No doubt you’ll tell us she reacted like she loved it but that doesn’t really add up. It sounds to me like you shouldn’t have been doing what you were doing.

A bizarre post - clearly driven by a pre-existing agenda you have - since you clearly know not me or her and I didn't notice you in bed with us at the time. Neither did I of course even say what the thing was/things were, as I was being delicate.
I was of course following on from Roui's post.
Do feel free of course to share any thoughts you have on vanilla/none vanilla sex and your play partners' reactions to.
Personally I tend to think that in their minds at least, women are less vanilla than men - maybe men censor themselves more - just an impression.