Casual Sex

[JenD0746]

Anyone here into casual sex/one night stands?

I really enjoy the challenge of one night stands.

oh and may even get round to posting on main topic - some interesting posts on here from some nice interesting human sounding folk - though not, unsurprisingly, from the priesthood.

@pendleflyer

I’m sorry Mr P for sending an unsolicited DM. I’m just very chatty online. @Catullus5 can corroborate this. 😂

Hi @pendleflyer Just to clarify, it was me that received the PM. It was uninvited, and while not massively obscene/offensive to me, it might have been to someone else. I highlighted it on here as a warning to others (if one was needed) that they might get them too. The folk on here tend to be a robust bunch, but you never know.

The PM guidelines were brought in after a sex chat thread where people were asking others to PM them for off board chat, and in some, occasional cases, these evolved into meet ups. As the sex board was in active at the time, everyone saw it, complaints were made and MN added guidelines that PMs should not be sent unless invited to on a post on a thread, but PMs were not to be requested/sent looking for chat/meet ups.

There are some posters who like to come onto the sex board to make sure that other posters are behaving themselves and following MN guidelines, and others who like to post about how a sex topic should not be on a parenting forum - personally I have more of an issue with any posts around religion and those childfree by choice, and most of AIBU, but I completely accept that they are my issues, and if MN are happy for those posters to be here, then I am happy to accept that too.

I do accept that some posters do post things on here that are not appropriate and MN does need to look at some posts, and believe or not the regulars on here do report anything suspicious when they see it.

I, myself, have made some good friends through this board, and while I post regularly on MN, under a different name, on the more day to day topics, I find this board generally to be the most welcoming, friendly and less-judgemental towards the genuine posters than a lot of MN.

But back to the topic at hand - yes, ONS are definitely a challenge, although I believe tend to be easier for women to obtain than men, but the fun of meeting someone who you have an instant chemistry with and just going back to theirs/yours for a good (hopefully) shag is immense. It has been a while that this has happened for me, but its always something I enjoy and do find a challenge. Yes, sex with someone you have a long term connection and chemistry with is usually better, but sometimes the instant gratification is amazing. Sex on a ONS stand can be awful or spectacular, as can sex in a long term relationship.

@Mermaidparades
well you've outed yourself there haven't you :)
not sure why.
nothing to apologise for at all.
though does seem that according to the "rules" I could have chosen to have you damned to somewhere between heaven and hell.
i did stress that your PM was fine
(though won't be publishing it)

Regardless of anything else, it’s not ok to victim blame, which is what was done here about the PM.

To say that you’re not surprised someone got a PM because of something they posted, (which wasn’t ‘pervs please feel free to message me’ or even anything like it), and then to suggest posters need to add some sort of disclaimer saying not to PM them is disgusting.

Decent people do not need to be told not to send unwanted PMs. It’s a simple as that.

And everyone on here should remember that not everyone is who they say they are. Many posters on here have said they have been contacted by men pretending to be women.

thanks for nice thoughtful post/reply @Thisismysexforumname
may well reply to some of points when have more time (and maybe when priesthood have exercised/exorcised themselves and left thread to its topic.

No problem at all. Reply only if you feel you wish too, I won't be offended if you don't.

No worries. And because I'm behaving like a junior mod I won't say anything more than that I do think this is an important point that doesn't get discussed. I think the rules are clear: welcome PMs are by definition not unwanted but if in doubt don't PM and don't be sleazy.

Anyone thinking that a poster saying they enjoy casual sex but that it hasn’t happened recently enough for their liking, is some sort of invitation to PM them is vile. Anyone justifying someone else doing that is vile. To blame the poster is victim blaming.

There’s a lot of inappropriate behaviour on the board, people with no boundaries, pervs googling mumsnet to wank to. It’s been referred to as a cesspit and I have to agree.

>>>MN added guidelines that PMs should not be sent unless invited to on a post on a thread, but PMs were not to be requested

Can't say I totally understand that to be honest - the distinction between invited/requested - but am not a lawyer.

For record have never proactively PMed anyone, nor have requested any.
I did ONCE say that if folks wanted more info on something they COULD PM me but that was deleted, I suspect because of the sterling work of the priesthood. Which stopped me the other day offering a doc which could be of use to someone - something that is no longer available online I think (and no - not because banned - just not there anymore)

>>>I find this board generally to be the most welcoming, friendly and less-judgemental towards the genuine posters than a lot of MN.

Agree totally. Or was until recently.

I may take up your implicit suggestion to have a different name on here because of some of the nasties that have muscled in. And more than that appear to be actually chasing folks around the web. But maybe they will tire and move on and leave us all in peace.

Thankfully, yep, onto the topic "at hand" - yes it is easier for women I think. Or so I have found. But then I am fussy :) Have not done a lot of at all to be honest but a few experiences and can be fun. The simple chemistry, the look, the joint decision that it's all about sex, no need for chit chat about this and that, the pointless search for common interests, the possibility that a piddling unimportant "difference" may emerge that breaks the flow, the possibility of looking for more connection than is needed - have been guilty of that and missed opportunities, and, dare I say it, have had the odd disappointed woman as I started wittering about god knows what and the moment was lost. Yep can be of variable quality - you can never assume anything about sex and that is part of the fun - the discovery/surprise.My worst experience was probably with a woman who was actually very experienced. My best two with women who weren't at all really. Folks or the priesthood can read into that what they will. But as I say, you can never assume anything about folk's public persona and sex.Nowt so queer as folk. Thankfully.

Have long thought the term "casual sex" rather odd - lots of casual (as in boring/routine/heads down/little connection) sex in long term relationships/marriages I think. As is clear sadly from the relationships bit.

Stay safe however you do it.

Anyone thinking that a poster saying they enjoy casual sex but that it hasn’t happened recently enough for their liking, is some sort of invitation to PM them is vile. Anyone justifying someone else doing that is vile. To blame the poster is victim blaming.

Agree. Its really disappointing to see victim blaming like this on mumsnet. I’m just reading through threads on here after having my attention drawn to the board by another thread. Victim blaming, sexualising children, period fetishising etc, it’s very disturbing.

i think the challenge is enjoyable casual sex - someone you can relax with and afterwards look forward to repeating the experience - with none of the pressures of a relationship

Oh, and don't fall in love