Threesome behaviour husband

Cherry44 · 2023-07-27T08:27:46+00:00

Im hoping someone with a bit of experience might be able to give me some advice. A while ago husband and i had our first threesome with another man. Husband didn’t want this other man kissing me on the lips which was fine. We agreed it was just about sex husband especially didn’t want me interacting with the other man which again I accepted. So imagine my surprise after the event when husband starts chatting away to this guy for a good 20 mins and asks for his instagram!!!! The following day, husband tells me how aroused he was by this man’s penis. Now on osassion my husband likes me to wear a strap on but denies being bisexual but I presume if he was aroused by this man’s penis then he must be bisexual? he is not interested in a threesome with another woman whatsoever Thoughts please BTW I really enjoyed the threesome no regrets just trying to understand my husband

ThoseDays · 27/07/2023 10:13

When did it happen? You said this happened a while ago, have you not spoken to him about it?

Original poster

Cherry44 · 27/07/2023 10:41

He just says he was aroused by the man’s penis not by the man. He also doesn’t think he did anything wrong by chatting to the guy for ages straight afterwards I told him it made me uncomfortable as we had agreed it was just sex.
I mean I would have been fine if he’d stayed a bit but husband asked for his instagram and sorted that out straight away

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Original poster

Cherry44 · 27/07/2023 10:41

Also talking about us, our lives etc which was weird

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ThoseDays · 27/07/2023 10:42

When did this happen?

GentlemanJay · 27/07/2023 12:05

I've seen a lot of naked men pictures. I can appreciate a naked man with a good body and a nice c... I have no intention of acting on it as I'm straight. I've had a lot of threesomes. I could have had a lot more if I was bi.

GentlemanJay · 27/07/2023 12:07

Also. When I have threesomes we chat over drinks before and after. With the regular couples I meet, we have food afterwards too. It's all part of the experience for us all.

Original poster

Cherry44 · 27/07/2023 12:24

GentlemanJay · 27/07/2023 12:05

I've seen a lot of naked men pictures. I can appreciate a naked man with a good body and a nice c... I have no intention of acting on it as I'm straight. I've had a lot of threesomes. I could have had a lot more if I was bi.

Ok thanks for this

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Thorninhisside · 27/07/2023 14:54

Given that your husband wanted a threesome with another man, then I'm guessing that watching his wife have sex with another man is a huge turn on for him.
In that scenario, it's not really a surprise that he got aroused by the other man's penis, since the other penis was the focal point of the event, so to speak.
So, seeing close up this cock entering his wife was bound to have an effect on him.
I wonder whether it was the other cock or the whole scenario in general that was the main turn on?

He might not describe himself as bisexual, in the sense that he doesn't look at other guys and think "ooh, he's nice looking" in the way he might with women.
But put in a highly sexual context, the sight of an erect cock clearly had an arousing effect.

I've seen in other forums straight guys describing themselves as "orally bi." They don't find men attractive in general but are turned on by an erect penis and like to touch and suck another man.

Would it bother you if he was bisexual?
I don't really see the need to identify with labels.
So long as you have a good relationship and can enjoy yourselves in an open and honest way, does it matter?

Original poster

Cherry44 · 27/07/2023 14:57

Well he told me today he wouldn’t have minded if the other guy had sex with him as well !!!!

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Thorninhisside · 27/07/2023 15:02

Well he told me today he wouldn’t have minded if the other guy had sex with him as well !!!

How do you feel about that?

Original poster

Cherry44 · 27/07/2023 15:03

Not good

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Original poster

Cherry44 · 27/07/2023 15:03

I feel like he wanted this so he could get what he wanted

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Thorninhisside · 27/07/2023 15:12

I feel like he wanted this so he could get what he wanted

But he didn't do anything with the other guy, or did he?

Maybe he did suggest the threesome to get aroused by seeing the other guy or maybe he just got turned on by the scenario that unfolded.
Only he can tell.

You'll have to have a very open and honest conversation with him.

Original poster

Cherry44 · 27/07/2023 15:24

I have had a very honest chat with him and he’s gone from saying he was aroused bu his penis to saying he wanted to touch it to now today saying he would have liked this man to have had sex with him !!!! Get the feeling I might be getting used

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Sothisiit · 28/07/2023 09:08

He's being open and honest which is a good thing. Where your boundaries lie in the relationship is for you to both work out and agree upon.

AverageGuy · 28/07/2023 09:09

@Cherry44 He's being very open & honest with you, and I suspect he's finding it difficult to do so, so please don't shut that door. Have you told him how you feel?

Who suggested the threesome?

Your DH enjoys being "pegged", so it shouldn't be a total surprise to you that he now want's to feel the "real thing" as it were. It doesn't mean he no longer wants or desires you.

How has your sex life been since the threesome?

Isitsixoclockalready · 28/07/2023 09:09

Thorninhisside · 27/07/2023 14:54

Given that your husband wanted a threesome with another man, then I'm guessing that watching his wife have sex with another man is a huge turn on for him.
In that scenario, it's not really a surprise that he got aroused by the other man's penis, since the other penis was the focal point of the event, so to speak.
So, seeing close up this cock entering his wife was bound to have an effect on him.
I wonder whether it was the other cock or the whole scenario in general that was the main turn on?

He might not describe himself as bisexual, in the sense that he doesn't look at other guys and think "ooh, he's nice looking" in the way he might with women.
But put in a highly sexual context, the sight of an erect cock clearly had an arousing effect.

I've seen in other forums straight guys describing themselves as "orally bi." They don't find men attractive in general but are turned on by an erect penis and like to touch and suck another man.

Would it bother you if he was bisexual?
I don't really see the need to identify with labels.
So long as you have a good relationship and can enjoy yourselves in an open and honest way, does it matter?

I think that if you are a man and you are willing to engage in a direct sexual activity with another man then you are bisexual. Not all gay men engage in anal sex but that doesn't mean that they aren't gay.

Original poster

Cherry44 · 28/07/2023 17:15

Isitsixoclockalready · 28/07/2023 09:09

I think that if you are a man and you are willing to engage in a direct sexual activity with another man then you are bisexual. Not all gay men engage in anal sex but that doesn't mean that they aren't gay.

Show quote history

Totally agree that’s why I’m feeling really uncomfortable tbh.
I feel like he’s doing this as a means to get what he wants. He admitted he wanted this man to have sex with him !!!

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Original poster

Cherry44 · 28/07/2023 17:15

He’s also asked if we can see this man again

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QueenVixen · 28/07/2023 19:09

It sounds like he used the excuse of a threesome so he could experiment with another man.

Original poster

Cherry44 · 28/07/2023 20:19

QueenVixen · 28/07/2023 19:09

It sounds like he used the excuse of a threesome so he could experiment with another man.

Exactly how I feel

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Outerlimit · 28/07/2023 21:02

@Cherry44 Cherry, I'm a little confused. Many men like to see their partner enjoying sex with another man. Some of those like/need to compartmentalise it as a purely sexual act and are therefore keen to see 'their woman' lie back and think of England during sex, others enjoy seeing her kiss and caress the other man.
You enjoyed the sex, while respecting the boundaries that your husband set. It would seem that you were able to compartmentalise the event and didn't need or want to repeat the experience.
What were you expecting to feel afterwards? If it was great sex, would you have looked forward to a similar session with the same or a different man?
Could you be comfortable with a man who was happy to have penetrative sex with both of you, or is that unacceptable?
Your adventure appears to have been a tipping point for your husband. Whether he recognises or admits it, he definitely appears to have bisexual feelings. Those feelings may or may not survive actual sex with a man, which is different to pegging from his female lover.
I'm not sure either of you can be certain of the way forward at the moment, lots of honest talking required - as well as you having a very clear understanding of your boundaries. Good luck.

Original poster

Cherry44 · 28/07/2023 22:13

I would certainly not be ok with my husband having sex with another man.
However I have had contact with the 2nd man involved. We’ve texted and exchanged pictures and I feel bad about that

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Adventurousones · 02/08/2023 00:27

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bluebeau · 02/08/2023 16:12

As you know, but don't want to admit. This will not end well.
Your H wants to have sex with this man
You, I presume behind your H's back, have been sexting this man and want to see him again without your husband ?