Orgasm from BJ | Mumsnet

MrsBrollie · 2023-06-05T11:38:23+00:00

I’ve been with my DH for nearly 11 years and in all that time I think he has orgasmed from me giving him a blow job on 2 occasions. He gets very close and his legs start to twitch but I can’t seem to get him over the edge. I’m sure if I spent longer I could get him there but after 15 minutes my jaw is in agony and I lose all interest in carrying on. how common is it for men to climax from oral?

andrew279144 · 05/06/2023 13:28

Not as common as people seem to think, in my experience. BJ is usually a prelude to conventional sex, where the man then returns the compliment (cunnilingus) and proceeds to penetrative sex. A good BJ is nice, but rarely ends in orgasm on its own (for me, at least).

Mermaidparades · 05/06/2023 13:28

My DP can orgasm now , but he had developed a mental block about blow jobs a few years ago, it turned out he was worried that it was a demeaning act for me to do, especially the cum in my mouth issue. Once I’d worked out what was going on we were able to talk through about how it isn’t a power trip in a loving relationship, and I actually love all of him (even the gloopy bits).

I asked him to give me a definitive sign as he approached orgasm, then it would be completely my decision where he ejaculated. Each time I kept him in my mouth, which built up his confidence that I wasn’t actually repulsed by him. We carried on doing that for maybe a month, then i stopped asking for the sign and he was absolutely fine. It might be something like that for your DH?

Zanatdy · 05/06/2023 14:57

In my experience a BJ is part of foreplay and I’ve never known a guy to come from that alone

Thisismysexforumname · 05/06/2023 15:47

In approx 30 years of being sexually active, I have been the lucky recipient of many blow jobs and I can count on one hand how many have made me cum. If you add in hands, toys etc then they can definitely help but for me its definitely rare that a BJ on its own will get me there.

Mermaidparades · 05/06/2023 15:54

This is really interesting! Either my DP is a freak of nature or I’ve got a hell of a mouth 🤣

conversationsinthedark · 05/06/2023 15:56

My current boyfriend told me that he's only cum a couple of times from a blowjob..it just didn't happen..felt good but didn't climax. We've been together 2.5 years and I've never given him one that hasn't ended in him climaxing (unless it's only a quick one before PIV). I get him there every time and he gets them regularly! We both have no idea why, or what's different...but I'll take it as a compliment anyway 🤣

Blushingm · 05/06/2023 18:14

My DP cums regularly from a BJ........

Slipndipgirl · 05/06/2023 18:26

My DP has no prob cumming from BJs, and (shhhh….) I’m usually rewarded in a similar manner afterwards! I agree that a pre-cum warning is a great idea, giving me a quick choice of swallowing or ‘redirecting’ his ejaculation and my DP says that uncertainty increases his excitement. I enjoy seeing the force of his ejaculation sometimes, so I wouldn’t want to take his cum every time!

TolkiensFallow · 05/06/2023 20:10

im surprised by this, I’ve always found men orgasm through blow jobs.

Athrawes · 06/06/2023 10:30

I have an older man and it is rare for him to come from a BJ. When I was very much younger it was the norm, I guess young men are a bit more hair trigger. I am coming to understand that men over 55 can be slower to cum than their 20 something counterparts.

Rieslinger · 06/06/2023 11:22

Definitely a technique thing for me, when my BDW uses a combination of hand, mouth and tongue I'm in absolute heaven and it doesn't usually take me long at all to orgasm.

Before we go together I never really got the big deal about BJ's so my BDW is an 11/10 😝

Original poster

MrsBrollie · 06/06/2023 12:49

It’s been interesting to see the variety of responses! It doesn’t really bother either of us that he doesn’t cum from BJs. If we are not having penetrative sex one of us will just finish him off by hand.

OP posts:

StarlightLady · 06/06/2023 16:23

When not being done as part of foreplay for other things, I have learned to bring someone to conclusion hands free with little difficulty, in fact I rarely use my hands except for placement. I think it is all about the motion.

OP, in terms of ache, in my view no sex should lead to discomfort. it's a case of doing things differently. Instead of a cocktail straw (pun intended), think ice lolly, the tongue can do many tricks in between.

I'm a tad surprised about comments about men telling you when they are about to blow. You can feel the throb change quite significantly just before. I hate mess, so no "redirecting" there is only one place for it to go in my book. They say it's good for the complexion but I suspect this may be a male created myth.

Mermaidparades · 06/06/2023 17:13

@StarlightLady re: telling me orgasm approached: I asked my DP to give me a sign as I was trying to build his confidence, I didn’t want him to be in any doubt that he had somehow climaxed in my mouth by accident. It worked really well.

Original poster

MrsBrollie · 06/06/2023 19:30

StarlightLady · 06/06/2023 16:23

When not being done as part of foreplay for other things, I have learned to bring someone to conclusion hands free with little difficulty, in fact I rarely use my hands except for placement. I think it is all about the motion.

OP, in terms of ache, in my view no sex should lead to discomfort. it's a case of doing things differently. Instead of a cocktail straw (pun intended), think ice lolly, the tongue can do many tricks in between.

I'm a tad surprised about comments about men telling you when they are about to blow. You can feel the throb change quite significantly just before. I hate mess, so no "redirecting" there is only one place for it to go in my book. They say it's good for the complexion but I suspect this may be a male created myth.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t force myself through the ache. I have tried many techniques, and he has always said they feel amazing, but he has a certain rhythm that he uses to make him cum which I can’t replicate, he speeds up and stops a few times Until he eventually cums, it’s the same for bjs, handjobs, piv or anal( I don’t think I’m explaining it very well)

OP posts:

StarlightLady · 07/06/2023 12:13

@Mermaidparades - I get that. It reaffirms consent, which is important whenever there is any doubt.

weathervane1 · 08/06/2023 05:56

I usually cum when receiving a blowjob but as with anything, when I've been with a relatively new partner, it's been helpful to both of us to communicate what works for me. Same the other way round obviously. For example, I really enjoy my balls being cupped and gently fondled, the area between my balls and my arse is especially sensitive and if I'm lucky enough to be with someone who is happy to gently finger me at the same time, I'm in heaven. So, a combination of sucking with lots of tongue swirling, some lovely ball fondling and some stroking of my bottom. When done with passion, it's a winner every time. Just please avoid teeth contact unless that's a pleasure point for your partner. As for swallowing, spitting etc, most men couldn't care less at the point of orgasm so do what works best for you OP. The few times I haven't cum tend to be when we're going through the motions and it's clear my partner is thinking about the cobwebs on the ceiling or I've developed an anxiety on her behalf eg 'I hope I can cum so she doesn't feel her technique isn't right' - which of course stresses us both and I lose an erection.

DixonD · 08/06/2023 23:55

Thisismysexforumname · 05/06/2023 15:47

In approx 30 years of being sexually active, I have been the lucky recipient of many blow jobs and I can count on one hand how many have made me cum. If you add in hands, toys etc then they can definitely help but for me its definitely rare that a BJ on its own will get me there.

This is really good to hear as for 17 years I’ve thought I was awful at it. He’s only ever cum this way when he’s doing the same to me.

Thisismysexforumname · 09/06/2023 08:03

DixonD · 08/06/2023 23:55

This is really good to hear as for 17 years I’ve thought I was awful at it. He’s only ever cum this way when he’s doing the same to me.

Show quote history

Glad it helped. I have had several sexual partners who have almost taken offence to the fact that their oral skills didn't get me there, despite much reassurance.

I read on here about so many women needing oral to cum (and experienced this in real life) so I assume that women think it is the same in reverse, but just as there are plenty of women for whom oral does nothing for them, there are also plenty of men.

acpk55 · 09/06/2023 18:02

Very rarely cum from Oral alone ( maybe not met the right woman 🤷🏼) but also agree with comments above about age, I’m 50 + and it’s takes longer and more stimulation to get to orgasm, I have previously faked it orgasm during sex as I’ve got bored.

pendleflyer · 10/06/2023 14:22

acpk55 · 09/06/2023 18:02

Very rarely cum from Oral alone ( maybe not met the right woman 🤷🏼) but also agree with comments above about age, I’m 50 + and it’s takes longer and more stimulation to get to orgasm, I have previously faked it orgasm during sex as I’ve got bored.

can't fake an orgasm from a blowjob surely?
On original post, strikes me as somewhat/very unusual to not come from a blowjob.
only time happened to me was once when on Viagra. Can supress orgasm I understand.

acpk55 · 10/06/2023 14:31

@pendleflyer
have faked it during regular PIV not oral. , have almost never cum during oral

pendleflyer · 10/06/2023 14:57

acpk55 · 10/06/2023 14:31

@pendleflyer
have faked it during regular PIV not oral. , have almost never cum during oral

thanks for the reply/honesty.

Must say does strike me as odd but there we go - only time I remember is slowly gently pushing someone away with my foot - they seemed so unenthusiastic it didn't seem like it was worth the while of either of us.

Oh, same person after a bit of a sex drought complained pretty much immediately on going down that I took too long to come from it - odd, always thought the ability to delay was a plus in anything past teenage sex.

anyways, happy summer saturday acpk

acpk55 · 10/06/2023 15:10

@pendleflyer
no worries, have a great Saturday

EarthSight · 10/06/2023 18:09

@StarlightLady That is very much a myth. Your skin has something called an acid mantle, which, as the name says, it's on the acidic side. It's acidic to make it a more hostile to bacteria. If you disrupt that continuously with a substance that is more alkaline, you can have skin problems. This is why isn't not wise to wash one's face or with things that haven't been formulated with the skin's ph in mind.