How often do you have sex per month? 17 years together and early 50's

[Thinkingofmovingtosea]

Hi there,
Curious to know how often you "get it on" per month.. especially if in your 50's and together a long time.... Thanks

About once a month unless we are on holiday. Would probably have more if we didn't live with adult children😀😀😀

Well we’re 40s but I have disabilities, dh has severe depression and we have a disabled child, been together over 15 years. Sometimes we go months without. It doesn’t bother us, we often just don’t feel like it at all.

Never …how sad is that ?

It’s been over a year, same as PP, my mental health is in the pits, it’s really sad.

With my husband or someone else?

Not nearly enough. Like a poster above we have an adult child in the house. Also DH works away a lot.

With my husband or someone else?

😏. Both scores please

Late 40s, married 20 years. About once a week, sometimes a bit more or less.

Husband - never

young Swedish friend - -about 15

Started off at everyday, then went to 2-3 times a week after the children were born, then once a week, now once a month if lucky now they’re teenagers. We’re 35 and been together 21 years.

I blame stress, fatigue and lack of opportunity plus neither of us have the same level of urge as we did in our teens and 20’s.

Does your husband know about the Swedish friend?

We're just moving this over to our sex topic.

Yes and as long as discreet he is fine. He has no libido anymore.

Ah fair enough - was just curious!
If it works for you both then happy days 😎

Indeed, we both want to stay married.

H and I are reconciling after 18 months apart. Lots. Every time he stays over. It is bloody marvellous, rediscovering each other and what we enjoy now.

Once a month ish. My libido is practically non-existent (early 50s, menopausal). Feel a bit sorry for DH, who is always up for it, especially since a big contributory factor to the breakdown of my 1st marriage when I was late 20s was my exH lack of libido..so I can relate

@Fanamarama - what is your secret? do you have a date night etc.. do you have kids.. suggestions welcome :)

Mid / late 40's . Sometimes a few months go by, but then it might be a couple of times a month. Maybe once a month on average. Teenager still at home, tired, stressed. He would like more, I guess a lot of the time I'm irritated with him and then I don't want to, it's sad I know.

We are 57 and 54, together over 30 years.

At the moment we are making a concerted effort to have sex 1-2 a week. To be fair there is no effort required on DH’s part, sometimes considerable effort is required on mine due to low libido, tiredness, poor body image etc. I have been menopausal for over 4 years.

In the past we have had much longer periods without sex. Sometimes due to enforced separation due to work or illness and sometimes because I just don’t want to do it.

However I decided that I was not ready for that part of my life to be over. Our youngest is 18 and will be off to uni soon. I work part time and DH has taken on a much less stressful job with less travel. I feel that after 25 years of parenting and caring for elderly relatives DH and I finally have a bit of time and money to enjoy ourselves before our own old age takes hold.

I hope this post doesn’t sound smug. I feel better mentally and physically when I am more connected to DH and sex makes that connection easier and stronger. It isn’t always easy to find the time or the energy. I do sometimes sort of schedule it in, another thing on my to do list. Friday night and Sunday morning being the regular slots. I think it was Caitlin Moran who wrote about having regular maintenance sex.

Please don’t think that I am being coerced. DH would never ever force me. I do it for my own benefit because I always feel better afterwards and DH is still pretty hot and has always been very talented in that department. OK that last part was smug.

Mid 50’s together 30 years
around 6-10 times per month

About 20, maybe? We shag most nights, some weekend mornings. A couple of nights a week I'll go to bed earlier and fall asleep before he comes up. And I don't do it for about 3 days of my period.

We’re mid/ late 40s, together 30 years with 1 tweenager, usually 3-4 times per week. The remaining evenings are spent kissing/ giving massages etc. We managed to come back from our ‘dead bedroom’ era stronger than before (thank goodness!)

How many times a month, more like how many times a year, late 50s, together 36 years, maybe once every two months, gradual reduction from probably two to three times a month five years ago to very little now, DW just doesn’t want to know and I’ve reached a point where constantly being pushed away makes me not want to bother anymore so I don’t, not sure if it will ever resume

Two kids (older teens now), no date nights (the idea makes me cringe a bit- not the date but having a designated night for sex).

I think the only secret to having regular sex is that you have to actually...have sex. It's too easy to fall into thinking that you'd like to have more sex but on every particular occasion when the possibility presents itself you'd rather sleep or read your book. If nothing changes then nothing changes. (I'm talking here about couples who've just fallen out of the habit- obviously there are other situations which are a lot more difficult.)