Innies or Outties? (men welcome to post)

[SugarFlowing]

I have never truly been 100% confident about my labia and although I've never received any complaints, I have never received specific compliments either.

I'm coming out of a somewhat long self imposed celibacy period and I feel kinda like a virgin again but the main reason for my nervousness is my labia.

What can I do to make it a non issue and what have you done to feel more confident with yours if you have been worried in the past?

This is awful, I’m so sad that you feel this way. Labia just are, it doesn’t matter if you lose or gain weight they are just the way they are. And innies and outties are both beautiful. In betweenies too!

If I was so affected by the appearance of my labia i would sit with a mirror and try to desensitise myself, repeat a mantra that they are beautiful. I would discuss your feelings with a potential lover prior to getting naked. But honestly, if they responded any less than positively they wouldn’t get to see me naked!

You said "men welcome to post" so I will. For the past 20 years I've only seen my wife. Before that I saw a fair number and frankly, I did not care what they looked like, getting close and seeing was wonderful, (it still is with DW. ) There are differences in how people look but once I get to see such "private" parts I don't judge. I've seen differences but they all tasted wonderful.

Male here.

I’ve been up close to a fair few and never, ever given a passing thought to what it looked like. I’m only thinking about what I’m about to do

I thought of belly buttons...(gets coat)

I'm not particularly keen on my outie. I sometimes think I'd like a neat little innie. But no man has ever commented on it so I'm not sure they really care that much either way. All penis' look different too. It's just the way we are. It doesn't affect my ability or pleasure having sex so it is what it is!

I used to loath the look of mine. If ever I took a cheeky pic to send to the arsehole that is in my username, then I would cringe and delete it pretty quickly. I appear to rather appreciate it's beauty now and that's due to a huge tidy up of the pubic hair and desensitisation as Mermaid suggests, by seeing pictures of it regularly (that I send to a more worthy recipient)

After a 20 year marriage and 2 children, I was worried that I didn't look how I "should". But I just put on a brave face and started dating. And you know what? Every guy I slept with was so pleased to see a naked woman, not a single one of them passed comment. Funny that!

I also hung out on KK chat rooms where there are a LOT of vulva photos posted every week! Made me realise that we're all different.

As a recent partner reassured me... "You could be 20 years old, with a neat little letter box, like all the other 20 year olds. But yours has character!"

from a male viewpoint, if I get close enough to see, I really don’t care what it looks like

Really don't care...they are all lovely....

@SugarFlowing So whilst not having had the privilege of see your Fufu I would say with supreme confidence it's gorgeous.

I would say if you are feeling a little delicate about it, play with your Fu-do. From MHP the beauty of my DW's mound when we are nose to nose sets me up for any action down below and sets her stall out beautifully!!

Good luck and report back!!

Spend a bit of time looking at Internet porn and you'll soon see how different they all are.
When you're done, try to think about how many of them didn't give men erections.

DW and I watched a Channel 4 documentary a couple of years ago called "100 vaginas". A fascinating and sympathetic series of conversations with 100 different women about what they felt and thought about their vulvas. It was really quite moving at times as many of the interviewees shared their anxieties and self consciousness but also their coming to love and appreciate that unique part of themselves.

The woman who put the whole thing together also took a photograph of every woman she interviewed and - surprise, surprise - they were all completely different, innnies, outies, different shapes, shades of colour, etc.

If it's still available on YouTube or MoreFour I really recommend it if you need reassurance that you are completely normal and unique.

As a Bi woman I can assure you they all react the same way. That applies if it is yours after a period of celibacy (I know) or as the active participant.

I feel somewhat similar mainly because I’ve had time to actually think about it more. I’m not a huge fan of mine

They all function the same way and we’re all unique. I don’t think men give this much thought.

I've always found outies a massive turn on, especially when there's dangly bits. It's like there's extra delicate bits to play with.

I'm pretty certain I'm not the only one.

No as a man it's not something I'm bothered about .however being with an outer for a number of years encountering a few inners is different .
If I had to be pushed I'm an outer man .

Thank you all for your contribution and I feel much better.

Shall we now talk about coloration?

Hi @SugarFlowing firstly I remembered seeing something about a Woman Photographer who created a book studying different women and their Vulvas, I haven't been able to track it down but did find this hoping it might help inform

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Petals-Fine-Art-Photography-Vulvas-ebook/dp/B0075I9BIC

From a personal perspective a woman's vulva is hers like a penis is a man's and when I love someone whether it's their hand, elbow, dimple or Fufu it's all a reflected aspect of the person and to me are all equally beautiful, desirable, loved.

So what am I saying? Don't sweat it, love your Vulva and the person you find who loves you will love that part of you too, good luck!

If you mean skin tone...really doesn't matter. Lighter, darker, all right thinking respectful men just won't care. Its the whole you your man wants not just the particular part that is the subject of your concern...relax...

Please don’t use words like fufu, we’re all grown women, it’s a vulva, labia to be precise.

@Dizzyfizzylizzyy tbh I would have done but I had already used Vulva enough already and just wanted to break things up a bit, also as my BDW and I use Fufu it's a pretty common descriptive our end, no offence intended

@Dizzyfizzylizzyy you object to fufu but not the thread title, innies or outies 🙄 when it comes to sex you often find anatomical parts and functions given different names, penis/ cock, masturbate/wank, etc. Par for the course!

Haha! Back to defend your mate, no surprises there. Fufu isn’t a word that I would imagine most men or women use to describe a woman’s anatomy, it makes it sound like vulva and labia should be censored. I’m allowed to speak up with the correct terminology, or is that not allowed? 🙄

I think it's a lovely thing that people have friends on the boards. Not just on the sex boards.

Anatomically everyone has a different shape so just love the shape you are.I am sure your new partner will.