Porn chat - don't judge

[CreatedUserName]

Since my divorce I have started watching porn. I have never watched porn before. I was up my own arse about it actually and did judge people for it!

Now I've started watching pegging videos and men being dominated. It isn't the pegging that's getting me off. It's the fuck you men you are nothing vibe. I don't know if it's related to my bitterness about the male race in general, I have no wish to dominate or peg anyone, actually that's not true, I would love too, not because I find it sexy but because I hate men so much!

I now wonder whether men who watch porn hurting women feel the same.

I probably should stop but it makes me feel better in a weird way (and not just my multiple orgasms!)

P.S I don't hate all men, I'm just still putting my broken heart back together.

If it makes you feel better that is good

I'm sorry for what happened to you and I hope your broken heart heals completely - perhaps leaving a scar you can wear with pride.

I don't agree with NotTooOldPaul though. I think that a person fantasises about is their own business - unless they make it someone else's, but it doesn't follow that all fantasies are just that.

I've no interest in porn because it just seems straight out nasty. Yes I know there's other stuff out there but I'm not really tempted to look for it. If I got a taste for normal porn (or the even nastier varieties) I would be worried about what was causing that and how indulging that preference might ultimately affect my actions in the world.

I imagine there are absolutely men who watch certain types of porn because they hate women.

not to burst your bubble but i doubt there are many women who could peg a man who didnt want to be pegged. But if it works for you its doing the job the producers intended!

This post feels satirical somehow.

OP, it's clearly despicable to enjoy another person's pain and humiliation. But yes, you're right, you are probably no worse in this respect than 90% of men.

@AbsolutePixels I would go a step further and say I'm not 100% sure of the sincerity of the OP.

I could be completely wrong but with the last few weeks of Active etc I'm feeling a little suspicious and perhaps over sensitive of any poss suss posts.

Agreed. This post feels fake.
But in case it's not, @CreatedUserName just gender flip what you've said, and see if you're OK with that.

You're getting off at the thought of sexual assault?!
And gloating....
...and you don't want people to judge you?
🙄
Right....ummm... bye!

If you think I'm a troll report it to MNHQ as per the guidelines instead of troll hunting.

It's not assault, I'm not watching assualt. Pegging doesn't mean rape or assault. I really doubt men are coerced like women are in the porn industry- especially when it's women doing the pegging. Gay porn with young men you may have a point. This isn't that.

It's more about the degradation that's doing something for me. I don't like normal porn as it feels degrading to women. This feels like a big fuck you watching it. I feel powerful watching it and I'm not sure why.

Pegging doesn't mean rape or assault.

No but this sounds a lot like your fantasy is sexual assault....

" I would love too, not because I find it sexy but because I hate men so much!"

Pegging a guy because you hate him?!
Is the man in your fantasy a willing participate and getting off on it too? It really doesn't come across that way!

I don't think it's right to judge people in the way some of these posts are. Especially when the OP is hurting.

Kink shaming is just wrong.

I think it's good that you recognise that there is probably a reason you feel this way. I think you have a point about there being some men who feel the same way.

At the end of the day, providing everything is consensual, then it's OK.

I suspect your feelings will change as you heal.

My personal fantasies do vary with my mood. I can always tell when I'm a little but depressed as my fantasies tend to swing more towards light BDSM. But when I'm "ok" they're fairly vanilla.

I hope you're looking after you and healing.

I'm not kink shaming
Pegging and degradation is fine. If its consensual. It's the OPs motives behind it that are the problem.
If a man has a kink of raping women is that OK? We shouldn't shame him or judge him?! Because it's just what he's into!

Horneybee, you have no idea what my motives are. You have read what I've said and projected what you think I mean. I've never said I want to assault someone. I wonder if you're a man and you're struggling with a woman wanting to do what a man does to a woman? Anyway, I don't particularly care. Stop projecting and judging on your projections. I did say in the header don't judge. Why you feel the need to come on to a thread and be a sanctimonious arsehole with your made up story I really don't know.

Ax - thank you that makes sense. Hopefully when I'm ready to date and fall in love again I won't have a secret desire to peg them 😂

@CreatedUserName you said
I now wonder whether men who watch porn hurting women feel the same.

@HornyBee isnt projecting, she’s just responding to your post.

You're right.
I'm a man.
I fucking hate women. Completely despise them. I love getting off on watching porn in which the woman are roughly fucked and degraded. I don't get off on it because I find it sexy. I get off on it because I fucking hate women. I'd love to fuck a woman like that. I would get so turned on through the hatred. But don't worry, I don't want to sexually assault women or anything.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your sexual fantasies with mumsnet. Much appreciated.

@HornyBee it’s fucked up, isn’t it?

I think there is a distinct difference between finding things a turn on and actually acting on them.

I'm friends with a therapist and I remember her telling me that she had received a call from someone asking if she could help him as he was attracted to children and didn't want to be (and said he had never acted on it).

She called him a "f*cking pervert" and slammed the phone down.

So someone who garnered enough courage to try and reach out for help will probably never do so again. I worry that it sends these things underground where people don't feel able to seek help. I've read of many cases where there is a history of abuse in people who have then gone on to abuse others.

I think the world is already a harsh place filled with judgement and I think we should all be kinder to each other. You don't know what struggles people have gone through / are going through.

And I say this as someone who has experienced abuse.

I know there are a variety of situations, and yes there are people who don't deserve an ounce of sympathy. But i dont think we should ever start from that assumption.

If anyone on this thread has ever got off to a BDSM scene in which a woman is similarly abused, you have no right to judge OP. What's she's describing is no worse than 90% of what's on PornHub, which millions of men happily jerk off to every day. It's the gender flip that disturbs you.

That said, OP you need to stop watching porn and find a healthier outlet for your anger. You feel as though you're settling a score by degrading these men, but really you're just degrading yourself.

@AxolotlLove i would query the professionalism of a ‘therapist’ who divulged details such as those

@AxolotlLove there's a lot of cognitive dissonance in your post. You say BDSM is something you're drawn to when mentally unwell and yet it's also all totally fine and consensual. There's a lot to unpack there.

Regarding paedophiles, I used to work on a mental health helpline which paedos would call to discuss their issues and get help. Every single time they were wanking, never talked to one who was in earnest. I don't blame your friend for slamming the phone down.

It just doesn't sound like a very healthy way to put your broken heart back together OP - but maybe you just need to get it out your system for a bit. Don't hold on too tightly, too long to the anger though, it'll only end up hurting you. Best revenge is moving on to a happy and healthy place where he can't hurt you anymore.

Go and speak to anyone in a BDSM relationship and ask them if they do it out of hatred for each other.
They don't.
I don't see any scenario in which someone wanting to fuck someone else out of sheer hatred would be consensual.
BDSM is role play. Nobody gets hurt. Nobody does anything without consent.

So it's the motives behind the OP that are an issue for me.
I thought I was quite open minded but I'm obviously not. Because I am judgemental on this -
not because I find it sexy but because I hate men so much!
But each to their own. Let's hope it stays a fantasy!

BDSM is role play. Nobody gets hurt

How can you say that? Innumerable women have been murdered this way.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/nov/10/rough-sex-excuse-in-womens-deaths-is-variation-of-of-passion-study

From the article linked above: 'The normalisation of BDSM has enabled abusers to justify and excuse fatal violence against women using formal sex equality and women’s liberation against them.'

I think this thread needs to be removed, it makes for uncomfortable reading. There should also be a trigger warning, if you’re discussing sensitive topics.

I think OP's post is a really interesting provocation. Instinctively, we recoil from it, but struggle to rationalize why within the sex positive paradigm we inhabit.

Ok. Well BDSM when done correctly between 2 consenting adults then!
And the article above about women being murdered under the guise of 'rough sex gone wrong' is exactly my point.
People with the mindset of the OP. Fucking someone out of hate.
Takes it too far.
The other person dies.