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Original poster

Should I be annoyed that my partner watches porn?

58 replies

babyloon13 · 19/02/2023 19:34

So I know lots of opinions on this topic will vary. However, I've been away for the weekend with friends and got home today and have since found out my partner has been watching porn and pleasuring himself whilst I've been away. I can't help but feel it's a little disrespectful; as why would you want to take pleasure by watching other women etc? I know he doesn't know them but personally I wouldn't ever look at anybody else in an intimate way to pleasure myself, including porn. Am I being unreasonable for feeling a little upset? He knows I don't like it and has said before he won't watch it anymore, but I know he has multiple times since he said he'd stop.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 20/02/2023 11:27

Notparticularlyslappable

Then you must hold in contempt roughly 98% of the adult population. How does it feel in your ivory tower?
Nothing wrong with a grown adult watching grown adult porn in his or her own home. Almost all of us do it occassionaly”

Do we?
It’s a big no from me. Why would you need to if you loved and were satisfied with your partner?

People who tell themselves it’s fine, perfectly normal, need to work on their self-worth.

MrsSkylerWhite · 20/02/2023 11:29

macaronicheese123 · Yesterday 19:52
No, you need to grow up. (From a Wife!)“

No, her pathetic partner does. It’s shows complete disregard for OP (From another wife, of 35 years).

AbsolutePixels · 20/02/2023 11:35

YANBU. I would lose all respect for him.

AbsolutePixels · 20/02/2023 11:38

most adults are able to differentiate between porn and real women

The women in porn are real people, fgs. I hate this differentiation between 'real women' and 'porn women'.

Pyewhacket · 20/02/2023 11:42

Soapyspuds · 19/02/2023 20:22

You are asking the wrong web forum OP. No boyfriends or husbands of any member here ever watches porn.

........... or wife or girlfriend !!!!.

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 20/02/2023 11:45

I watch porn. There's nothing wrong with me. I work in a professional capacity too. 😊

BrokenDown2 · 20/02/2023 11:46

I'm currently in the process of ending things with my partner, partly for this reason. He'd always said he didn't need to watch porn as I was enough and our sex life was amazing. Found out he watches it very regularly including watching and following girls and porn on Reddit. So he's lied for the whole time we've been together and in the process said that he finds them attractive and thinks about doing things to them. And not me. It's completely ruined my self esteem. I gave him the option of me or porn. He chose the porn so he will be out of my house over the next few days.
If/when I meet somebody else, if they watch it, I won't be with them either. It's really disrespectful in my eyes. Fair enough to everybody that doesn't mine their partner watching it but it's a no from me

Mischance · 20/02/2023 11:47

I think if you have made it clear that you you do not like this (for whatever reason - ethical or personal) and he has agreed that he would not, then he has over-stepped a line. He has gone back on what he agreed.

Personally I detest porn, both because of the exploitative nature of it, and because it wrecks relationships, as evidenced on this site. It is a pernicious epidemic that is destroying vulnerable women's lives and relationships.

macaronicheese123 · 20/02/2023 11:47

@Greenfairydust OP isn’t concerned about the injustices of the porn industry though or concerned about potentially vulnerable women being exploited. She’s very clearly jealous and appears to almost imply it’s cheating, that’s very immature/insecure and I feel she needs to grow up, and Your little lecture doesn’t change any of that!

MrsSkylerWhite · 20/02/2023 11:47

HaveANiceFuckingDay · Today 11:45
I watch porn. There's nothing wrong with me….”

Well, you would say that, wouldn’t you 😁

BrokenDown2 · 20/02/2023 11:47

Mind* not mine

Surplus2requirements · 20/02/2023 11:57

macaronicheese123 · 20/02/2023 11:47

@Greenfairydust OP isn’t concerned about the injustices of the porn industry though or concerned about potentially vulnerable women being exploited. She’s very clearly jealous and appears to almost imply it’s cheating, that’s very immature/insecure and I feel she needs to grow up, and Your little lecture doesn’t change any of that!

I don't think it's clear what the OPs view is on the ethics of porn generally which is why I tried to give a 2 part view.

macaronicheese123 · 20/02/2023 12:58

@Surplus2requirements I haven’t read anything you have posted, sorry! I was responding the person who had responded directly to me.

Opentooffers · 20/02/2023 13:50

It's a problem if it starts affecting your sex life. If he'd rather do that than be with you, or if he starts suggesting stuff or performing in a way that is influenced by the porn he watches.
If it reflects a lack of respect for women in a general sense, it's also an issue.
I can go with the claim that a lot of men have seen porn at some point, but to claim that all do it regularly, is bogus. Not all men do, so it's fine to chose the ones who don't if you can. Unfortunately, some tend to hide it. It's easy to stay away from the brigade who openly brag about it claiming "all men do it" 🙄

cosmicbabe · 20/02/2023 15:08

How did you know that's what he spent his weekend doing?...

BCBird · 20/02/2023 15:17

I watched it with one of my partners. I introduced him.to audio porn. I preferred the audio he preferred the visual.

Adrelaxzz · 20/02/2023 15:22

Notparticularlyslappable · 19/02/2023 20:05

Then you must hold in contempt roughly 98% of the adult population. How does it feel in your ivory tower?

Nothing wrong with a grown adult watching grown adult porn in his or her own home. Almost all of us do it occassionaly.

Show quote history

Bollocks is it 98%!
Less than 50% across all sexes and ages.

Adrelaxzz · 20/02/2023 15:23

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 20/02/2023 11:45

I watch porn. There's nothing wrong with me. I work in a professional capacity too. 😊

It's not about you it's about the impact of the industry on the many women forced into it. Or whom are being forced into sex acts by their porn watching partners.

Zanatdy · 20/02/2023 17:43

My bf (of 3 months) watches porn all the time. It genuinely doesn’t bother me one bit. He was single for over 6yrs so guess he just got into the habit, and I know it sounds odd but I knew he was a porn watcher before I dated him. It’s not something he’s secretive or embarrassed about and he only watches mainstream, nothing weird. I’ve watched some with him too, doesn’t do as much for me as it does him, especially when I’m there with him, as I’d rather focus on him and we usually do end up ignoring it anyway after a few mins. We have an amazing sex life (at the moment, honeymoon period where we are all over each other) so it’s not like he’s wanking over porn and not wanting to, or not being able to have sex with me. Even if I didn’t know he watched it I’d have known by the 3rd time we slept together as he’s definitely got some of his moves from porn!

It just depends how you feel about porn, you weren’t there so I don’t see the issue personally but some people hate porn so will feel upset

Nottelling15 · 20/02/2023 17:53

Good lord above
Why are people assuming that people who watch porn only watch rape or abusive porn?
I watch porn and I don't watch the rape or abusive videos I personally prefer the amateur home made porn
I get that some of the performers look as if they are forced into it but I actually don't think very many are ( and the very few that are is too many tbh)
Many of the performers are willingly doing it and make good money from it
As to should the OP be annoyed or upset that her partner is using porn well only they can decide the answer to that
Why would you need the approval of random strangers on the internet to answer a question like that ?
It's a bit like me asking for approval on what to cook tonight or if it's ok to wash my car

blippyissilly · 20/02/2023 21:14

The real reason so many women have an issue with porn is because they can't handle the thought of their partner wanking off over younger, hotter women

Porn is here to stay and if your partner wants to watch it he will and there's nothing you can do about it

justcallmebozo · 20/02/2023 22:19

@MrsSkylerWhite - Why would you need to if you loved and were satisfied with your partner?

Your opinion, but it doesn't make sense to me. They are two completely different things and i enjoy both. I think most watchers would feel the same.

justcallmebozo · 20/02/2023 22:40

BCBird · 20/02/2023 15:17

I watched it with one of my partners. I introduced him.to audio porn. I preferred the audio he preferred the visual.

I love the idea of audio porn , and I've tried it a few times, usually in bed in the middle of the night (insomnia) but it just never sounds realistic to me. Almost like they're trying too hard, and i often find it quite comical and start laughing, head in the pillow trying not to wake DH.

Riverlee · 20/02/2023 22:43

I wouldn’t like It either. Your feelings are valid.

ladybood · 20/02/2023 22:44

Not at all. Both me and my OH watch porn separately and together! I don't understand why people get upset by it?

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