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Sex

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Original poster

Men focusing on a woman’s pleasure

35 replies

MoonlitSky · 11/02/2023 09:32

I’ve never been with a guy where my pleasure was purely his focus, is this unusual?
I’d love to have experienced this, sadly it’s not to be now. I feel I’ve only ever had mediocre sex.

OP posts:

RabbitSocks · 11/02/2023 09:51

Most of the men I’ve been with have been varying degrees of interested in my pleasure. None have been selfish but current partner is very aroused by my arrousal - I think there are an increasing number like that.

Sugaspunsista · 11/02/2023 09:56

My current partner is all about my pleasure. He says it's the biggest turn on to see me enjoying what he is doing.

KangarooKenny · 11/02/2023 09:57

Only ever slept with DH, and he always made sure I got there first. I assumed all men did 🥴

Eastereggsboxedupready · 11/02/2023 09:57

It's taken me until dh number 4 to find one...

Karwomannghia · 11/02/2023 10:00

I think I must have been lucky as almost all have and the ones that weren’t didn’t last. But I’m easily pleased too!

vivaespanaole · 11/02/2023 10:04

Mine enjoys it so much more if he knows I am into it and finds it a massive turn on. Usually he takes care of me first so to speak. He genuinely wants me to feel great about it.

I had never experienced this before in any of my previous partners.

Judeisnotobscure · 11/02/2023 10:10

My DP has told me that his favourite thing about sex is knowing how aroused he can make me and giving me orgasms. I believe him! He’s a hard worker!

Do you have a partner at present? I think anyone can improve their techniques as long as they approach the subject with curiosity and willingness.

Nottelling15 · 11/02/2023 10:16

I get turned on by giving my partner pleasure
Their pleasure comes before mine

2Bornot · 11/02/2023 10:18

DH always makes sure I orgasm first, if that’s what you mean.

EBearhug · 11/02/2023 10:20

The difference between a man focussed on your pleasure rather than theirs is fab. In any case, if I'm having a good time, I'm far more inclined to make sure they do too. My pleasure is worth investing in.

Iloveabaconbutty · 11/02/2023 14:01

I couldn't imagine sex could be better any other way. I love spending time stroking, massaging and kissing DW's body all over - from her head to her feet, her back, her shoulders, breasts, bum and then her more intimate places.

Sex for me is all about communication and sharing pleasure and care with fun and relaxation. If she is very turned on and maybe has had an orgasm or two by the time she gives me pleasure before moving on to penetrative sex it's invariably pretty amazing.

Of course sometimes it's the other way round and she starts things off by kissing and stroking me. And that's wonderful too.

OP Why do you think sadly that is not to be now? I really hope you do find you have the opportunity to be made love to in the way you long to be.

All the best to you.

Madmax1992 · 11/02/2023 14:16

My partner makes sure I'm finished first and if he finishes before me for whatever reason he will still make sure I am satisfied! Been together 13 years now and feel very lucky to have such an attentive partner in this department. Why is it too late for you? There are lots of men out there !!

Original poster

MoonlitSky · 11/02/2023 15:32

I say it’s too late because I am married, unless I’m willing to end my marriage which doesn’t feel like the right thing to do. At the same time, it’s bothering me a lot.

OP posts:

NoDatingForOldMen · 11/02/2023 15:35

I think any man with any common sense should realise that if everyone has a good time in the bedroom, then there are more likely to be more good times

BisonGrassVodka · 11/02/2023 17:13

I've always been a giver, in my worst relationship, I reckon it was 80/20 with me being the 80% part of the team. My partner at the time, would not try anything new and was so unreasonable to anything I suggested, showed her on the internet or in magazines, that would make our sex life and particularly her's, so much more spectacular, she just would not budge or even compromise. She still lives in the same village as me and has been single for at least 25 years, maybe I was enough to turn her off men.

My last relationship was 60/40 and it was much more of an even playing field, but as I love performing oral, I felt I got the better part of our together time.

LegalLights · 11/02/2023 17:26

This is something that's bothering me at the moment. DP gets action once or twice a week at least but it's been actual months since there was any 'focus' on me. It's been months in-between excitement for me for a while!! I'm seeing it as a job as this stage - something to do to keep things ticking on.

I mention it from time to time because I'd like to enjoy things more, but it's almost become a joke between us because he's no interest in taking time over things and making it work for me. If it's not something you can do in 10/15 mins, it mostly doesn't happen! 🙈

Anyway.

I also think it's because I'm getting older, I just don't think he's interested to be honest. Hopefully we'll get past it.

Zanatdy · 11/02/2023 21:51

My bf is the first guy I’ve been with who genuinely wants to focus on my pleasure more than his. He’s very into foreplay which I love, he’s always asking me what works for me etc. It’s the best sex I’ve had, mid 40’s, took me all this time to find! Lol. It’s only been the last few months since I met him I’ve thought why on Earth did I continue giving BJ’s to men who didn’t return the favour? Madness. My bf loves going down on me, and I love that he genuinely loves doing it as I definitely love receiving it. Last week I thought crikey I better start repaying the favour a bit more as hadn’t in a few meet ups, and I’ve never ever been in a position where I’ve been receiving more than giving!

Blushingm · 12/02/2023 15:05

My currently partner - he says it's his goal to make me cum and he enjoys doing that about anything else......even him cuming

DGConsultant · 12/02/2023 16:43

Glad the ladies on here have experienced a partner who wants to give and is interested in their own pleasure just as much, if not more, than their own. I'm single, but there's nothing better than having a woman come multiple times, and know she's hitting the heights before PIV. Best thing in the world for some guys.

AverageGuy · 13/02/2023 08:33

Because my XW wasn't interested, and actually didn't allow me to touch her, I'm all about focusing on my partners pelasure - I love it! Exploring her body, finding out what turns her on... Can't get enough!

Karwomannghia · 13/02/2023 08:37

MoonlitSky · 11/02/2023 15:32

I say it’s too late because I am married, unless I’m willing to end my marriage which doesn’t feel like the right thing to do. At the same time, it’s bothering me a lot.

Have you initiated? What have you tried to get him to spend some time on you?

larkstar · 13/02/2023 08:54

Maybe you need to work on communication over sex - it doesn't only have to be when you are in the bedroom - the more you can't open up this channel of conversation the more likely you can steer your sex life in the right direction but you need to be able to keep the channel open and not cause him to shut down of he didn't like to hear complaints - be might be fine with more directness - hopefully you'll know. My wife said to me recently - don't kiss me like that - I feel like I'm being pecked by pigeons - her slapdown style of communication is fine with me - it makes me laugh. You've got to "ask for"/communicate exactly what you want and don't want. The best times for us are when to go to bed when we have been talking and engaging with each other a lot beforehand - we can continue that in bed - it's perhaps not so easy or effective to get these conversations going from cold. I wouldn't lose hope - it's possible you can move things along but you've got to give it try with more open and honest communication but in a way that will not put him on the back foot - it could just be that you have to be direct and make your needs very clear and simple enough for him to remember and understand.

Rieslinger · 15/02/2023 11:30

Communication. communication, communication. Everything stems from this.

I adore my wife and she knows it.

We've worked pretty well on speaking and taking time to share and explore our lives together. it all comes back to intimacy and speaking.

Forestriver · 16/02/2023 12:31

My partners pleasure is my pleasure. If she isn’t having a good time, then it doesn’t work for me either. It’s hard to imagine sec being any other way.

BigButtons · 16/02/2023 12:35

my current partner is the first bloke I’ve been with who really doesn’t have a clue. Even telling him what works for me doesn’t make much of a difference. Shame because he is an otherwise lovely bloke.

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