Men focusing on a woman’s pleasure

[MoonlitSky]

I’ve never been with a guy where my pleasure was purely his focus, is this unusual?
I’d love to have experienced this, sadly it’s not to be now. I feel I’ve only ever had mediocre sex.

@BigButtons Keep trying even the biggest Doofus can change

Thanks- progress has been made. He won’t tell me what he wants either. It’s very frustrating. I guess he has terrible confidence issues regarding sex.

Maybe you need to take control and be the lead partner for a while?

@BigButtons That sounds like a decent step forward well done! Have you read Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch?

It's relevant for all committed relationships but he has some bloody brilliant insights, ie nothing is wrong and if you focus on your own differentiation then naturally you will both progress. I've never been one for self-development books but this has transformed me.

Are you on Audible? He has an abbreviated version which is about 3 odd hours long but the hard copy book, if that works for you, is well worth the read.

I've found I do chunks of it when I hit something particularly helpful then work through that a bit then keep reading. His approach is not about what's wrong I honestly don't know why I"ve never heard about this book before!!

Good luck and report back!

Oh thank you- I will check that out. Always willing to learn and try new things and any excuse to buy a book!

I don't think it's that unusual. I"ve slept with 25-30 men and only two really cared about my pleasure. The rest of them i was just a vessel for them to use.

I personally get a lot of pleasure from giving pleasure. I don’t like to climax unless I know my partner has enjoyed themselves too. For me it is about the shared experience and the sounds of a lady experiencing pleasure drives me wild!

I also just really enjoy giving…

Wow. I've slept with about double that, and I'd say only about 5 weren't interested in my pleasure. I mean, they were interested in their own pleasure, but realised that focussing on mine paid off. Even the one night stands have mostly been fun. Maybe it's because I can be quite selfish about my pleasure in bed.

I chose to sleep with very few men before I met my husband, but I was lucky as they all cared about my pleasure massively. In fact that was how I was introduced to oral sex before I lost my virginity so I guess that guy set a high standard! I have been married a long time and my husband takes pride in making sure I am really happy. I have never faked an orgasm in my life and it wouldn’t occur to me to do so. I guess I was lucky, but looking back I think I only got intimate with men who had already been putting me first and were very, very keen, so I think I unwittingly pre-selected!