How long does sex need to last to be great sex?

[Iloveabaconbutty]

A non-serious but I hope interesting question.

Not for the first time DW and I were recently reflecting, having just had a very enjoyable and mutually satisfying sex session which lasted a maximum of 15 minutes (not that I was timing) that sex doesn't have to last hours and hours with endless amounts of orgasms to be really, really good.

I think we were both grew into young adulthood with the impression that bringing each other to the heights of ecstacy all night long is the ultimate even though after a lot of years together we know that's not necessarily the case - or usually very practical!

That's not to say that occasional lazy, unhurried morning lie-in sex isn't wonderful or that quickies - a rarity these days - aren't fun, and indulging in extended foreplay from time to time isn't very, very pleasant. But, at least in our experience, some of the best sex can last 10-20 minutes, tops.

Do other people agree?

I'm agreeing with@Judeisnotobscure Why all the negatively on this and on a couple of other recent threads? This board is such a great place to share, listen, encourage, offer suggestions and have opportunities to develop our sexual relationships for the better.

I have invariably found contributors generous hearted, sympathetic, good humoured and wanting to offer help and great advice. I'm not quite sure why from early yesterday evening there suddenly there was such a rush of negatively and dismissiveness about such a precious area of human life, namely sex.

I felt a bit depressed reading it frankly and I hope it doesn't last much longer and the board can get back to being the warm, friendly, interesting place it has always been.

15-20 mins here or quickies

We have young kids so I do not have the energy for anything longer.

The sex topic is showing up in the active trending list, whereas it used to be hidden from there, so now everyone can see it.

I think MN had some tech issues and people's hidden topics became visible again. When MN reset it, they included the sex topic but are not going to hide it again, so now its all trending in active and all the pearl clutchers are here giving us what for!

One night a week we get the place to ourselves and would both be disappointed if a good hour of sex wasn't on the cards but the rest of the week it's quickies by definition which are also great. I wouldn't be satisfied with only ever having quickies.

So what? It's the sex board. Everyone on here is a grown up (presumably) and willingly talking about sex. So what if some are men? It's good for men to hear from women what makes good sex, makes them better lovers.

I guess this is where posters vary with their sexuality. There are still women who have a strong sexual desire even with work and kids who quite like spending a good while having sex, me included.

jude I was joking! I enjoy a good shag as much as the next woman. 15 minutes if it’s decent can be just as good as an hour, obviously it takes longer the more people you’re with at the time as it’s nice to satisfy everyone’s needs.

@Femchat79 Ah, that does explain it. I'm all for open discussion but I hope it doesn't change the tone too much, which has invariably been generous-hearted and good humoured.

0 - 20 mins max; I just can't concentrate for any longer than that.

@Namechangedforthisonetoday I’m so sorry!! The whole tone of the thread changed and it made me prickly. Genuine apologies!

I wandered onto this forum by accident too! Which is why I thought for mumsnet the comments have been fairly mild?

Ha ha makes sense, very much this vibe:

Lynn these are sex people!

😂😂

Absolutely agree. Who doesn't want to talk to some random bloke about sex. They all end up on this board, so may as well indulge them.

Fill your boots. 🙂

@Palmfrond love it 🤣🤣

@Femchat79 i see, thank you for explaining!

@gamerchick how rude. Let’s not generalise. The men posting here are polite and respectful. I find your attitude towards them insulting.

@gamerchick Is talking to random women different then? It's a DISCUSSION board.

@gamerchick I'm aware this is a debate which has been around for a while - and a point of view of at least some people - that men really shouldn't be on a discussion forum called "Mumsnet" and especially on the Sex Board, because we're all mysoginists and perverts, right?

Wrong, actually. Men are actually human beings and have as much uncertainty in this area, desire to learn and be better husbands/partners/lovers as women do. In my fairly brief experience on MN, I have learned so much and been hugely impressed by the good humour, generosity, respect, sympathetic listening and good advice from women and from men. It's been brilliant and I can't recommend it highly enough.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that in a number of ways the MN Sex Discussion Board been transformational in the way I approach sex in my marriage and I'm so grateful.

5 minutes 😁

Well clearly you don't but you don't have to. We don't mind. I find the idea that men get their kicks from discussing sex in the mildest terms with women on mumsnet so...prurient and insane. It's like you've never been on the internet before!

10 minutes. Both of us can satisfy each h other in that time.

😂😂😂

I’d say between 39-45 mins. But with my ex I preferred it to be about 10 mins cause he was horrible at sex and I just wanted to get it over with lol

I really enjoy foreplay so like 15 minutes for foreplay and 10 minutes for the actual sex.