Fling

[KirstyMac74]

I’ve been married for nearly 20 years and our sex life has never been great. DH is very self conscious about his size and has lost almost all interest now. I made a joke recently about having to outsource that side of our relationship and he responded “go for it!” Do any ladies have experience of finding someone for discreet fun? I missed the whole Internet dating thing so no idea if that would be an option.

I’ve been married 13 yrs now and my DW has slowly gone off any kind of sex with me . No matter how much you think maybe I should outsource the sex part of life doing so is a sure fire way of ruining what relationship you do have with your other half. As you said it in a joke kind of a way maybe he said go for it also as a joke. As tempting as it maybe for you at the moment sit down with him and talk things through so as not make a very big mistake. If you can’t talk about it then make a pros and cons list and consider what you have to lose vs what you can gain.

I’ve tried many time over the years to talk about it but there is just no interest sadly x

Talking can be hard especially if you keep going over the same thing . I’ve also talked about it many times and get the reply “ I know I should try and make more effort “ but the effort doesn’t come. It’s frustrating. But ( excuse the bluntness ) I sort myself out and get on with it . I have a good imagination for that . Lol

Man here in a similar position. Whilst I love the idea, the reality is flings become more and everything has the potential to break down. Not worth it in the end I think unless you can truly separate sex and feelings

Totally agree with HuskerD . Please take your time really think things over and make sure whatever your choice that it’s that the right for you. I wish you all the best and hope you find what you’re looking for either in or out of you current situation. X

I think I’ve been very patient but feel as though I need to act now x

Being patient does start to grate on you after a while and you can only ask so many times before you start to think you can’t take refusal anymore. I guess rightly or wrongly I’ve just accepted it now. No one deserves to be made to feel undesired though .

I feel as though I’m too young to just accept it x

I know that feeling. Age is just a number . It doesn’t change the things you need to make you happy . Even at my age I still have needs . I just believe my needs are different to DWs and can’t change that. Maybe you’re in the same boat.

Yes, I’ve tried to forget about the needs but I’ve had enough now. Like I said to him - it’s time to outsource! Any suggestions on sites/apps?

@KirstyMac74 When you say he's self conscious, has he reason to be?

If it’s casual no strings no feelings just sex kind of thing then I suggest a club . Most clubs are free entry to single females and charge for couples and single men. Xtasia at West Brom is good .

Yes, size issue lol

I don’t go myself but I told it’s a good one .

Any in Glasgow?

Size is no issue. There’s lots of things to do besides . Toys, oral , play . As long as you both enjoy it size doesn’t matter.

I’m positive that sex clubs are in Glasgow . Google it .

@KirstyMac74 Do you reassure him. Is it a problem for you or just him? What size are we talking?

He knows it doesn’t do anything for me which has put him off sex completely. It’s about 3 inches when erect. It was ok when we first got together but I am a lot looser now than I was back then.

@KirstyMac74 Oh I see. I agree with the pp, there's plenty of things you can do together. I spent years worrying about my size. It didn't make a difference in my marriage because my wife had zero interest in sex. We are no longer together. My partner of 4 years loves 'him'. Turns out I'm actually on the high end of what's average. The girl years ago who crushed my confidence must have either been used to big ones,just wanted to hurt me or didn't do it for me. Please don't underestimate the psychological damage this will cause him. If you fancy him and he turns you on maybe you can work at it together. X

Open marriage works for us.
PM if it'll help.

I’ve messaged you x

Wow I'd go off sex too if someone told me I did nothing for them and laughing at his size on the internet it just vile - I can't imagine the roles were reversed and he was laughing at parts of your body. Why don't you work on you pelvic floors and reassuring him there are loads of things you can enjoy together, or better still do him a huge favour and leave him.

*if

Charming!