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Original poster

Partner Masturbation

32 replies

lucyandmike · 17/10/2022 20:00

Just wondering if people in a relationship know how much their partner masturbates?

We have talked about it plenty of times before and he's always said it was not much of a thing for him other than once a week or so but recently he's said he gets the urge to masturbate much more frequently and usually every day for a while now. I don't mind and and much prefer to know about it than him doing it in secret but wondered if others knew what their partner did and talked about it openly?

OP posts:
cookiecreammmpie · 17/10/2022 22:15

My husband knows I do it a couple of times a day and when I'm doing it if he's in the house . He doesn't mind as he knows I have a high sex drive but he doesn't like to know the details, what I'm doing it over etc.

girlfromyorkshire · 21/10/2022 03:41

We know we both do it, we don't hide it but we don't advertise it and shout it from the rooftops either! My regular time is in the shower or when he has gone out anyway so he doesn't know all the times I may do it. Sometimes I will ask him when he has last cum so I know how long he is likely to last when we get down to it!

Angelsman · 21/10/2022 12:02

cookiecreammmpie · 17/10/2022 22:15

My husband knows I do it a couple of times a day and when I'm doing it if he's in the house . He doesn't mind as he knows I have a high sex drive but he doesn't like to know the details, what I'm doing it over etc.

If we masturbate alone ( we call them solo O's) we always share details of the motivation/fantasy scenario with each other the following morning in bed. This invariably leads to a lovely sexy session. The honesty and communication we find is emotionally very connective, as well as being a real turn on.

xpc316e · 21/10/2022 12:56

I was in a coercive, controlling relationship and a feature of it was my then wife wanting to know exactly when I masturbated. It was part of her having to be in control of every aspect of my life.

My current partner of almost twenty years has never asked whether I have masturbated, and in turn I have never inquired about what she might get up to when alone. Everybody needs some measure of privacy in their lives and for us this is an area that is personal to the individual.

What works for us is not necessarily going to work for you, but it would be an alarm for me if someone needed to know the ins and outs of my whole life - I guess that is because of my previous experience though.

Runaround50 · 21/10/2022 16:51

Agree with PP.
Personally, I don't think we need to know the ins and outs of each other's lives. We are not joined at the hip and as such, respect each other's private time.

cookiecreammmpie · 21/10/2022 19:24

Angelsman · 21/10/2022 12:02

If we masturbate alone ( we call them solo O's) we always share details of the motivation/fantasy scenario with each other the following morning in bed. This invariably leads to a lovely sexy session. The honesty and communication we find is emotionally very connective, as well as being a real turn on.

Show quote history

Unfortunately he gets jealous over me masturbating to the gorgeous Evan Peters and gets a right cob on so I generally have to keep schtum.

Blushingm · 22/10/2022 10:18

I know my partner does it every day, multiple times.....he's open about it and it doesn't bother me at all. He has a v high sex drive

Andypandy799 · 23/10/2022 17:09

Hyper sexual here and I need a release at least once a day if not more 🙊

Samantha87 · 24/10/2022 12:38

Myself and my bf masturbate. Him more often than me. I'll text him and say I'm about to play with myself and vice versa.
It adds to our sex life as we both are always horny. I have given him permission to masturbate over me if I fall asleep early and he's horny. Just not in the hair 😂

rudeboy1977 · 25/10/2022 03:25

Strictly don't ask don't tell in my marriage, part of a broader policy of never talking about sex. Not good.

lauraUK1000 · 25/10/2022 19:55

We have always been open about it and it turns us on knowing about it. I've told him before that often I masturbate daily and he loves the thought of it.

He used to do it often also but since he has been on some medications for anxiety his urge or need to masturbate seems to have gone away.

desperatehousewife21 · 26/10/2022 07:42

cookiecreammmpie · 21/10/2022 19:24

Unfortunately he gets jealous over me masturbating to the gorgeous Evan Peters and gets a right cob on so I generally have to keep schtum.

Show quote history

He’s featured in mine too 😆but I wouldn’t be telling DH about it lol

cookiecreammmpie · 26/10/2022 11:32

desperatehousewife21 · 26/10/2022 07:42

He’s featured in mine too 😆but I wouldn’t be telling DH about it lol

Show quote history

He saw me looking at a gif of his naked bum on my phone haha. Oops.

Munchyseeds2 · 26/10/2022 21:11

Never talked about it and have no clue to be honest.

JulieS1 · 19/02/2023 23:20

I think it's natural. We both probably do it more now to keep ourselves calm. Having young kids, the option for the real thing is rare and both have needs. We both with our jobs usually spend night away in hotels once week so both use out as our time to release some tension!

Anotherbloke1 · 28/02/2023 13:51

Partner dose with wand during her period as she constantly feels horny, doesn't bother me at all, keep asking to let me know so I can watch 😄

SpringleDingle · 28/02/2023 18:29

Boyf has mentioned that daily is his thing. He and I bonk our way through the weekend so I mostly am not interested during the week and he knows that. Not an issue to me what he does in my absence!!

TracxeyS1111 · 06/03/2023 23:07

Its a natural need, and with busy lives and family struggle to do the real thing so fills a gap... very nicely :) I probably do it more now than pre kids and marriage

StarlightLady · 07/03/2023 05:55

The needs and the pace are so different aren’t they? Personally l’ve never made a secret or a big deal about it with anyone l’ve been with. It’s natural, it’s healthy

l enjoy a little “me time” often with a vibey, more or less every morning as part of my “hello world” routine. It sets me up for the day along with a cup of good quality fresh coffee. But the last thing l want is 1:1 sex with someone first thing, at least not on a workday. It’s totally different.

Kitanai · 07/03/2023 15:12

Before DH’s sex drive disappeared he used to get off on the idea of me doing it (usually a couple of times a day - ridiculously high drive at the minute!)

He used to like it when I’d kneel in front of a mirror and watch myself.

Hawkins003 · 09/03/2023 20:57

It's a mix with us

Snoopy12 · 28/04/2023 11:31

I would love to know when my wife does it and how often. I dont like to ask her as it sounds a bit pervy. I fly solo a few times a week.

MrEssAgain · 28/04/2023 11:49

One of the best erotic experiences is doing this whilst your partner watches. +1 if they get so turned on that they have to join in and finish also.

Three times a week minimum for me, but then have always have high drive. I find ability to focus and concentrate afterwards is amazing.

MyBelladonna · 28/04/2023 12:13

@Snoopy12 I think it’s down to how you phrase the question, as it’s one of those topics that can have an element of shame. But just say what you’ve said here…I’d love to know… it’s positive and totally non judgmental. She might want to keep the info private, but if not make it fun, could she send you a pic of her vibrator when she’s about to use it , just to tease you? Then ‘Reward’ her with a bottle of fancy lube, etc. Can you tell I like playing games??!

MyTruthIsOut · 28/04/2023 13:33

I average about once a day.

My husband got a bit cagey when I first asked him how often he masturbates so I have never asked him again. His body, his penis and his business 👍

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