Please help! Masturbation and boyfriend

[MaisieMoo02]

Hi

Okay, really looking for some help and advice please!

I am an extremely anxious person with quite low self esteem. My previous relationship was long term and quite mentally abusive but I have been going through counselling to sort my issues out as I have been bringing them into my new relationship.

The one issue I can’t get over though is my boyfriend masturbating. He doesn’t do it to porn (as far as I’m aware) and seems to do it in the shower most mornings. I will offer him a blowjob most mornings (he is more a morning person, I’m more of a nighttime!) most of the time he will take it but over the last couple of weeks, he’s said we don’t have time but then has gone in the shower and done it himself, I know it’s quicker doing it yourself but I do then feel a bit upset thinking I could have done it for him.

The last couple of weeks, we haven’t had sex as much as we used (maybe twice a week) as he’s got a stressful job but I know he’s masturbating (I heard him this morning in the shower!) but because of my anxiety, I am getting myself worked up daily thinking he’s not as attracted to me/not happy with our sex life.

I do know that masturbating is completely normal and I really don’t want it to bother me. I’m really just looking for some help and advice on how to get out of thinking like this as I know it isn’t healthy and I honestly hate the feeling 😔

😂Made me laugh and I am sure this is correct. I figured my husband did when we first moved in together and I thought I heard him a couple of times. We are pretty open about such things and he said he did often wank in the shower in a morning and had been since he started to do it! I really wouldn't worry, it's no big deal.

Women are advised on this forum (almost daily), to say no if they don’t want sex and that male partners need to be happy with that and not complain, why should it be any different for men ?
Where is the sexual equality in that?
why should women be able dictate that men should get an erection and have sex even they are not in the mood.?

I think if one partner, regardless of gender, unilaterally quits sex and the other partner still wants/needs it, then one or both of them will not have a happy life.

I think that is true regardless of gender. If other people think there's a difference based on gender, take it up with them.

@ThinkOfABetterUsername
unilaterally quits sex and the other partner still wants/needs it

the OP has not said this, you just projecting now.

Yup, she certianly hasn't said that. In fact, they both seem to be getting on fine.

Thanks for pointing that out. 🙄

Having a quick wank in the shower with all the water is pretty enjoyable. Maybe you should join him! 😃

Stop offering a BJ every morning, it's not exciting when it's repeatedly offered on a plate. Get yourself a fantastic toy and tell him you're just going to have some fun with it while he's in the shower.