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Original poster

Feeling embarrassed after anal sex

26 replies

Annabananna1 · 06/08/2022 17:58

Impromptu anal sex with someone I haven't been seeing very long.

It was a first time for both of us.

I hadn't prepared as it was just a spur of the moment thing, I think we got a bit carried away.

I've no idea what came out after. But I'm sure it was not pretty. In fact, probably pretty bloody awful because there was some residue in my knickers after.

He went to the loo and had a shower straight after. And then we spent another hour hanging out and he left. I feel really embarrassed and I'm not sure I can see him again knowing what he's seen..

He came inside me but I've no idea if he actually liked doing anal or would be put off me forever.

Urgh I wish I knew what he was thinking.

OP posts:
Saturdaymorningsaregreat · 06/08/2022 18:37

Sex is always messy and anal sex has the added dimension of potential messiness. Occasionally - very, very occasionally - I've ended up with a bit of "residue" on my penis but it's never defined the relationship with the woman I've been with (including my wife of many years). It's just part of it. Bit of soap and water, no worries.

It's early days in your relationship and I guess this particular "first" was always going to have massive potential for awkwardness and embarrassment once passion was spent.

It would be a shame if you halted a new exciting relationship in its tracks. It sounds like something you both wanted to do (and might want to do again - or not).

He's probably feeling as awkward as you. Give him a call. Probably you'll be chuckling about together it in a few years' time.

Thisismysexforumname · 06/08/2022 19:15

If you are going to indulge in anal then you have to expect there to be occasional mess, especially if it is spur of the moment. If he has any sort of decency, he wont say anything if there is any mess, and will carry on like nothing has happened. I also recommend talking to him, but hopefully you can chalk it up to experience and forget it.

Oldtadger · 07/08/2022 14:10

Man here. He shouldn't be feeling awkward and neither should you. Couples can't go into anal without expecting some "fall-out". If you get the chance make a light comment about it and try to laugh it over. Then you can discuss what you thought of the experience and whether you want to do it again.

Mxflamingnoravera · 07/08/2022 20:27

Use a condom for anal, it just takes away that messiness. But if you are going to indulge then really you should be able to talk about it.
I like it occasionally. With a a condom and both of us would wash afterwards, you can't have anal without the reality of it being possibly messy and definitely needing a wash after. You'd wash your hands after wiping your arse wouldn't you?

chocolateonmyface · 07/08/2022 21:34

It was impromptu and I think from your post enjoyable. In my experience that’a fun and nothing to be embarrassed about

CandidClarisse · 08/08/2022 07:53

Just wondering... has he contacted you yet? And has it been discussed at all? Smile

Catzlife · 08/08/2022 11:41

There’s nothing to be embarrassed out at all. This happened to me & a girlfriend of mine years ago. we hadn’t been together very long either. It was my first time but not hers, it was impromptu and just happened on the spur of the moment. She said to me in no uncertain terms the next day that i was never to cum inside her that way again. I felt a bit bad tbh as she wad obviously a bit annoyed with me for it, like I should’ve known! 🙈

notlongtoo · 08/08/2022 11:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Annabananna1 · 08/08/2022 13:29

Thank you all for the reassurance.

@CandidClarisse yes, we spoke for a quite a while last night. Including about what happened. Although we didn't get specific he said he felt a bit delicious, like a teenager having sex for the first time.
But I didn't actually ask if he liked it and wants to try it again (probably with a condom).

Then he sent me a lovely good morning message this morning. So I think we're all good. It's a shame he's potentially seen my poop all over his cock.
If anything the experience has made me like him even more because he's been lovely, not mentioned any poo and is keen to see me again.

Having had a moment to reflect, I enjoyed the sensation and that he came inside me as we can't do that the other way, just in case. It was a pretty big experience. Shame it comes with the down side (or the brown side 😂).

OP posts:
Original poster
Annabananna1 · 08/08/2022 13:31
  • delirious, sorry definitely not delicious, oops.
OP posts:
Saturdaymorningsaregreat · 08/08/2022 13:44

Fantastic. Good for you!

All the best to you both.

Saturdaymorningsaregreat · 08/08/2022 14:53

Just to add that we have never used a condom for anal sex which we enjoy occasionally and think it's much nicer that way. Plus for a lot of years condoms were our chosen method of contraception so it was lovely not to need one for this particular variation of lovemaking! Very rare that there's been any mess involved. The rectum, several inches long, is normally empty so "clear" for comfortable and fairly deep penetration.

Even so whether or not there's anything visible we always thoroughly wash afterwards and definitely don't go onto any other kind of intimacy before we do. If a bit of mess does happen no problem. It's something we enjoy sufficiently for that not to matter at all. But very understandable that some couples prefer to use a condom. Personal choice really.

NSFWnamechange · 08/08/2022 15:31

Agree with others that there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. However, I’d suggest it is worth a bit of preparation in future.

I’m probably a bit of a clean freak but I also insist on a condom and wearing disposable gloves for anal (bought some black ones especially). Makes the clean up so much easier and I find it far more fun not having to worry about the ick factor.

stoopidon · 08/08/2022 15:59

Once when this happened, someone said to me "if you play with fire, you might get burnt", shrugged and laughed it off ...and I found this to be the perfect answer to the situation.

bombemma · 10/08/2022 08:43

Disposable gloves??

CandidClarisse · 10/08/2022 08:52

@Annabananna1 sounds good then! He sounds mature and like a decent guy, I bet there wasn't as much poop as you actually thought. The reason you get some "residual" in your pants is any lube mixed with his cum, it comes out a little brownish. It's all normal! It sounds to me like he would do it again 🙂

DillonPanthersTexas · 10/08/2022 14:51

Once when this happened, someone said to me "if you play with fire, you might get burnt", shrugged and laughed it off ...and I found this to be the perfect answer to the situation.

Particularly apt if she had eaten a vindaloo the night before

rwalker · 11/08/2022 07:23

Use a condom with anal bacteria for you arse and shit can travel up guys ureatha and give him the worlds worst bladder infection

Umwelt · 11/08/2022 09:43

Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.
My girlfriend has been asking me to try it with her for months, I was a bit on not so sure side(was a virginin that department)- I kind of really wanted it but also completely not sure how it would go...
We've used a lot of YES OB lubricant which helped a lot.
It wasn't messy at all. And even if it was, I wouldn't mind at all. View is so arousing and the whole experience was absolutely amazing...
Enjoy and talk about everything, can't go wrong.

Saturdaymorningsaregreat · 11/08/2022 13:05

@rwalker I understand this can happen. I had a bladder infection once a few years ago which may or may not have had anything to do with the anal sex we'd had a week or so before. Bladder infections happen for a variety of reasons.

Apart from that possibility I've personally had no issue at all in over thirty years of condomless anal sex. But probably OP it is something you might want to take into account when you are deciding condom or no condom. What can help is if he urinates as soon as possible afterwards which can have the effect of flushing away any bacteria which might be around.

Saintsfan7 · 11/08/2022 19:18

My wife and I have occasional anal, maybe once or twice a month when she's really in the mood for it. Probably been doing it for 20 years now never used a condom and had no issues. But it is the last thing we do during a session,and i wont come inside her, so that probably helps the hygiene a bit. Then its straight into the shower to wash each other off!

IntheBloom · 12/08/2022 16:41

I have never had anal sex. The most we have done is I have being rimmed by the hubby. We have spoke about wanting to do it.
What are the tips and tricks I know plenty of lube is a must

Saturdaymorningsaregreat · 12/08/2022 17:45

@IntheBloom Probably the main thing is both wanting to do it at the same moment. For us it's definitely a mood thing which happens occasionally in which there needs to be some overlap.

Apart from that, total relaxation is the key thing. Slow, slow, slow, slow build up with plenty of lube gently applied to her as well as to me.

I love to kiss the back of her neck and stroke her shoulders and the whole of her back and massage her feet too. Occasionally we might use a vibrator on her clit. And that's all way before we've got to actual penetration. Which again needs to be really slow, stopping every so often before moving further in. We've done this a lot over many years but each time is a fresh time and needs to be done with gentleness and care.

To be honest I love the slow, sensuous build up as much as the actual "deed" itself.

Above all else, communication is key. Talking to each other all th while. And putting her in total charge of speed and depth.

Occasionally, however relaxed we are feeling, it's clear that it's not going to work. Anuses can carry a lot of tension built up from a stressful day which we've mentally stopped being conscious of and can remain tense sometimes and it's important to be sensitive to this and not force things, however aroused we're feeling. In which case we just stop. There's always another time.

PhryneFisher · 13/08/2022 09:54

@IntheBloom try and get as relaxed as you can. Don’t make it the first thing you do, make it the last, preferably after a few orgasms.
And work your way up, it HAS to be slow and gentle, any discomfort, stop. But it depends on the discomfort, you will be able to tell if it’s something not quite right or just a general feeling of it being different.
You cannot use too much lube, trust me.
Try a position like doggy or something so it’s easier.

It’s like everything, it takes some getting used to but it’s worth it in the end. Good luck .

Angela59 · 16/11/2022 08:10

You pleased a man, nothing to be embarrassed about x

PS don’t forget next time, look him in the eye and say “sometimes you know it’s better to give than receive” and watch his face! 😂

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