Condoms in a long term relationship

[LancashireLad]

I've been married to the same special woman since 1997 and apart from when we were conceiving our kids we've always used condoms for birth control. A conscious choice based on not wanting to go down the long term pill route.

For a time after we'd had our kids I considered getting a vasectomy but never really got round to it for several reasons including waiting for several years for an inguinal hernia to get sorted. So apart from occasional forays into anal sex we just carried on with the condoms.

Over the past couple of years my wife has entered the menopause, periods have stopped and we've dropped the condoms. We both really enjoy the added dimension of intimacy this brings although still have no regrets that on balance condoms worked for us for a lot of years.

I'm just wondering if this is fairly unusual in a long term, exclusive relationship? Just a question from a curious chap.

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If you've found this page in search of condoms that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best condoms useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

When I was married my wife had bad side affects with the pill so we swapped back to condoms and used them until we split, so no complaints from me.

my new / current partner is post menopausal so worries about unwanted pregnancies, we started with condoms, but after STI checks we have dropped the condoms, however after so many years using them it does make me feel a bit like I’m missing a safety net and I think it’s affecting me mentally, so I might swap back…

It's funny how you can really get used to doing things in a particular way if you do them for long enough. I never really had any issues often associated with condom use - lack of sensitivity, etc. and putting it on was just part of what we did.

It's definitely enjoyable in a new way now. The biggest difference is the clean up afterwards. Using condoms meant the whole business was much neater and tidier!

Vasectomy, once we were clear that we were having no more children has been nothing short of fantastic.

We used condoms during DH vasectomy and at the start of our relationship, other than that we haven’t ever used them. I prefer the feel without them and I like the feeling of him ejaculating inside me, yes it’s messy but sex is messy.

Yes, I've never used condoms regularly, except with new partners at the very start of a relationship. All the women I've been involved with have been on hormonal contraception (their choice). And I've never had non exclusive relationships or casual/one nighters.

I do notice a significant loss of sensitivity when I have worn them, and so I definitely prefer it without. I'm mid 40's and aware of declining sensitivity in my manhood anyway - I think I'd find it very difficult to reach orgasm now, with a condom.

Not sure how I'd cope in a long term relationship where they were the regular primary form on contraception. But us blokes still don't have any other non permanent option available to us . Sounds like the 'male pill' isn't too far away, so we're 60 years behind women when it comes to choice. I wouldn't rule out more children with a future partner, so vasectomy isn't something I'd consider yet.

Been with my OH for 13 years in a few months time, only used condoms for a couple of months and then I decided I'd go on contraception, first was the patch which came off early and I ended up pregnant (sadly miscarried) and after that I went on the injection and still on it now, both much prefer without a condom

Vasectomy was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage.

Very rarely used condoms, I'm now on depo but will be coming off it once dh has vasectomy and we know it's been successful.

Never fancied a vasectomy but my wife doesn't want to be on the pill so always condoms for us too.

Yep. Condoms only for my 10yr relationship. I don’t want to use hormonal birth control.

When you go for a vasectomy they give you all kinds of worst case scenario warnings, as they do whenever you have any kind of surgery, but actually it's a breeze and great to know that you are soon firing blanks and never have to think about contraception again. BIggest surprise when I had mine done was a nurse came over to have a look when there was plainly no need for her to do so, pretty sure she just liked to have a look at all the cocks! Much better than covering it in a layer of rubber.

Vasectomy consultation booked here. 3 children and no desire for another one. Hate condoms. As does my wife.

can’t say I’m looking forward to it. And there is a slight concern that we both may feel less turned on with the ‘blanks’. We shall see.