How does your partner initiate sex?

[redbigbananafeet]

Just that really. This is based on a thread earlier today about a lady not liking her partner feeling he has a right to touch her body without Consent, which I entirely agree with. But it got me thinking about morning sex. And I think a neck nuzzle, a stretch response and a hand creeping below is what we tend to do. I'm wondering if I need to up my level of checking for consent first?

I wait until around two weeks since we last DTD, check if Venus and Mars are aligned, that the three children are either asleep or very engaged away from the room, that she’s not a) on her period b) mad with me for anything c) not too busy with work d) asleep

If I have a green light with the above, then I might get to have sex with the woman I love. Or I might not. Depending on how she feels.

And as much as I get upset by her lack of initiating I can mostly handle that, with the occasional throwing of my toys out of my pram when she’s really unreasonable about it.

I wish I could test it the other way around, where I left her to see how king it would take to come to me for sex. But I never get that far.

We pat each other on the bum loads but outside of that we will initiate in a very tender way. It escalates in a step by step way so we each have an option to turn it down again to "off". We usually have a giggle and say something cheeky to each other if we aren't in the mood. Laugh it off and carry on doing whatever.

All couple are different. I enjoy being touched by DH but a gentle touch can really turn me on so we do the gentle tender stuff at appropriate times

I know how you feel my DW has absolutely no interest in sex any more, but she still wants the enjoy the benefits that the relationship brings, it’s soul destroying to be constantly rejected by the person you should be close to.

There is only so much rejection you can take before you being to question if in fact you are the problem and it’s actually your own fault, it’s something we just don’t talk about.

I’ve stopped even trying now, it’s not worth the effort, my DW is the only one who is happy as she has everything she wants, nice house, no sex,
she doesn’t realise the she has destroyed our relationship and I’m looking to divorce her and I really don’t care or feel bad about it either

I’ve said this before - it’s very cruel how nature and child rearing kills womens desire
and leaves men wanting and not getting

now I’m a single mum I’m as horny as a woman can be 😂😂

its all a bit crap really

Im not sure that the human being ‘model’ always works to be honest

all this marriage and monogamy
it doesn’t work great

In another post, you’ve written that you have a FWB, does your wife know that you do? Or it that happening behind her back?

@DumbleDorey
yep, she knows,- and that’s why I want to divorce, the FWB has made me realise what Im actually missing in my marriage & I don’t want a half a marriage, I don’t want to live with who doesn’t love me anymore ( I think this happened long before the FWB)

I want a proper relationship again with everything that entails. Love & sex with one partner, will I find that ?
maybe, maybe not, but it will be better than what I have now.

You are free to leave a marriage at any point if you feel you’re no longer compatible, in all honesty, I can’t imagine she is wanting to have sex with you if she’s given you permission to have sex with another person, she has most likely give you permission because she feels it’s the only way for you to have sex that she doesn’t want to have and remain with the security of a marriage and all that entails home, finances etc.
How old are you both? You said it’s not something you talk about, why can’t you both talk about it?

@DumbleDorey
Yep, you are absolutely spot-on, we are both in our 50’s but the lack of sex has been an issue for years, we have talked & talked about it in the past but not recently and been to councillors, my DW says she hardly ever feels like sex, and that’s fine, I don’t want to pressure her, , but also I’m not prepared to be celibate for the rest of my life either, me seeing someone else was her idea really ( we nearly split a couple of years ago), but seeing the FWB and talking to her about her sexless marriage and how she left it has really made me realise I need to leave mine as well.
To coin a phrase I have seen on this site, I think I have mentally checked out of the relationship and currently getting my ducks in a row.

It is really quite sad when I read these posts, I feel for both you and your wife. If you’re seeing a FWB with her permission, is that enough to keep you in your marriage? Is there any intimacy at all? I mean kisses and cuddles etc? Either way, I hope things work out for you both.

Partner: will get touchy feel which tbh I love. He uses what I wear as code for if I'm up for it. I like to dress sexy and I like to see his reaction so I make the effort. He says earlier in the evening, let's go to bed early, wink. If I'm ever not in mood, he's respectful.
What I do: usually something I wear, an outfit change (always has to be very late due to being parents). The heels work well. I have a stash of raunchy underwear and vary it. We initiate 50/50. I just start kissing him and do things I know he likes. Last night I just decided I wanted to give him oral sex so I initiated that. He will do same with me randomly too. We always make sure we reciprocate, if either not happy with something we will say. Communication key.

We tend to be all over each other so we don't ask for consent it's just how we are. Been married 12 years and the sex is amazing. Been through hard times together and feel like we became stronger for it. We have similar sex drives.

Not meant to be gloaty post. Just read that back and thought oh god. Sorry to the posters having problems. Must be difficult.

@DumbleDorey we have been in separate bedrooms for a couple of years now, the marriage is over in all but the paperwork really, we have a nice house that will have to be sold & im sure she will get the bigger slice, buts I expect that really

ImissSclub7

no
i like reading about healthy LT sexual relationships

gives
me
hope 😊

It sounds like you’ve reached acceptance. It really is no way to live. At the end of the day a house is what you make it, if you have to get a smaller house and be happier then that’s worth the sacrifice.

We go to bed naked with arms and legs wrapped around each other mainly for heat, easy from there if I want to progress.

Well he starts by kissing me and his hands will start by going to my nipples (especially if I'm still dressed)

For me I'll either start kissing and touching him, but he loves a BJ so I kiss his penis and he sort of gets the idea

Both of us have high sex drives and tend to be up for it most of the time anyway