How often do u have sex?

[Mummy202102]

Hey I wanted to know how often couples make out? I feel like me and partner barely have sex. We’ve been together for 4 years now. First year was good every 2 days and since 3 years we have it 2 times a month and wer only 24?? This isn’t normal I’m sure. And we have no problems with each other and he isn’t depressed either or stressed! Ever time I bring it up he says he has no energy he is definitely no cheating either. He might have a low sex drive but how can someone’s sex drive be this low, so I leave it. But I’m so fustrated! I know every couple is different but just wanted to know.

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I guess the important thing is to not compare your relationship to others. Did 5 times meet both your needs? Are you intimate in other ways, are you emotionally available to one another, are there physical or psychological stumbling blocks in the way.

To be honest it never meets my needs. I've put on 2 and a half stone since having my youngest (3yo) which has made me quite self conscious, and he suffers from depression and has terrible mood swings. I think I've just been falling out of love with him for a while.

I would settle for that <<definitely envy lol

@Pandora984 you’re in such a difficult situation and I hope things improve for you soon! Please be kind to yourself and try to improve your self image, try to make time for self care and mindfulness. Feeling self conscious will eat away at your general happiness. Been there, got that t shirt!!

Would marriage counselling be an option? I emphasise with your DP’s depression but it isn’t acceptable for his mood swings to impact on you. Is he receiving appropriate treatment and professional support?

Back when we were busy with careers/business we would make a point of going to bed about 4.30 or so Saturday or Sunday afternoons. A long session with a bottle of wine.
By the time we went to bed at night DH was just too tired.
Since being on my own and being older, I found a woman friend and we now spend a couple of nights together most weeks.

Not rejected men entirely but my GF is so gentle.

@Judeisnotobscure thank you. I'm making positive steps I'm with myself, I've lost over a stone now. And can feel my confidence growing. (No longer wearing black all the time either lol)
He's back on medication but has recently changed it again. He gets to a point where he thinks he's fine then stops his meds, is fine for a little while then hits a mighty low. Doesn't listen to me when it comes to his mental health. It took his mum saying that she would withdraw from our dcs lives if he didn't do something about it last November.
She's even said that if I were her daughter she'd be telling me to leave him
I'm always a "things will get better" type of person so here's hoping!

@Pandora984 fantastic, keep yourself in a good headspace! It’s great that your DP listens to his Mum and she’s trying to help. Your DP is caught in a Catch 22, he needs the meds to feel better but they probably numb his emotions and libido, then when he’s feeling well he wants off them to fully experience life again. Hopefully the new meds will help the cycle and things will get better for you both xx

34 and 42. Once every 6 weeks or so. Three kids.

Maybe Once a year

@Fuzzyhippo girl, you think you have no sex drive but quite honestly it doesn’t even sound like you have been having sex, sticking body parts together isn’t it. Have you ever had an orgasm? This whole scenario sounds horrendous. You need to dump this guy and find yourself again and who you are attracted to. It’s quite possible you have a low libido, it’s also possible you have just been having the worst “sex” of your life and it can only get a lot, lot better from here. I have never once had an experience like those you are describing and I hardly had sex before I met her husband, but I realise now I was always with very enthusiastic, considerate guys who always made sure I had a great time. Please, please, please dump this guy (unless things are more complicated and you have kids?) and find an experienced, sensual guy who loves women and loves to give a lot of pleasure. Your whole life could get a whole lot better.

**met MY husband not HER husband 😂😂😂!

Currently once or twice a day, together for 3 years, 43 and 42. Both have a high sex drive, both of us masturbate (me more than her) and the sex is very intense despite frequency. In previous relationship of 7 years the sex remained rather frequent as well, yet both long-term relationships before that (when I was young :-) ended up with sex being a rare and even tedious once-a-month task...!