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How often do u have sex?

62 replies

Mummy202102 · 11/05/2022 00:46

Hey I wanted to know how often couples make out? I feel like me and partner barely have sex. We’ve been together for 4 years now. First year was good every 2 days and since 3 years we have it 2 times a month and wer only 24?? This isn’t normal I’m sure. And we have no problems with each other and he isn’t depressed either or stressed! Ever time I bring it up he says he has no energy he is definitely no cheating either. He might have a low sex drive but how can someone’s sex drive be this low, so I leave it. But I’m so fustrated! I know every couple is different but just wanted to know.


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OP posts:
StarlightLady · 09/06/2022 15:41

@Fuzzyhippo - No oral ? Not even foreplay? 7 years? I’m not surprised you feel completely numb.

He would not have lasted 7 hours with me.

Fuzzyhippo · 09/06/2022 16:02

StarlightLady · 09/06/2022 15:41

@Fuzzyhippo - No oral ? Not even foreplay? 7 years? I’m not surprised you feel completely numb.

He would not have lasted 7 hours with me.

Nope, nothing. He says he doesn't like the smell or taste. He classes squeezing my butt as foreplay, then goes straight in and wonders why I'm screaming with pain. He's never been very sexual, claims he's never masterbated or watched porn because it does nothing for him. I was also his first. I lack sex drive anyway so I've never been too bothered by it, but I keep wondering what if things were different

Hensintheskirting · 09/06/2022 16:34

@Fuzzyhippo are you happy with that? You're only 24, it seems very young to be putting up with rubbish sex...

StarlightLady · 09/06/2022 17:25

@@Fuzzyhippo - I would think that things would be very different if he would act differently.

To allow sex to be "done to you" is simple. To share sex and share bodies with passion is something else entirely. And nobody would cross the borderline to my boudoir if oral was not on the table.

totallyoutnumbered · 09/06/2022 20:04

Most days if we're not shattered

MrsBrollie · 10/06/2022 06:04

I’m 40 and DH is 35 been together 9 years and pretty much do it every day and always have done, some days it’s twice a day(generally on a Saturday). Twice is hubby’s preference but I’m happy with once a day

Nonfunctioningpancreas · 10/06/2022 08:38

At the moment once a week, we hadn't had sex for 3 years until a few months ago (because of me) we've been together almost 13 years and at the beginning if we were away for the weekend it could be 3-4 times a day, a few times a year when it got to 2016 (again because of me), we'd love to be more often but we don't live together and the once a week is the only time we have alone together

Gamerlady · 10/06/2022 10:17

Been together 21 years and it varies .. can be 3 times a month or once month.. we both work and are tired most of the time .. we are 41 and 49

Perplexed0522 · 10/06/2022 23:47

We are 37 and 38 (been together for 12 years).

We have two youngish children (8 & 5) who can be quite draining at times, especially at bedtimes, so we average at about 2-3 times a week which we are both happy with.

dirksenji · 11/06/2022 02:18

My partner and I don't live together and he has children 50% of the time. So we will often go 5-7 days with no opportunity. But when we have 3 days together every other week, we make up for it by having sex 5-7 times. We don't always both orgasm each time but as we both really enjoy making each other cum it's still a turn on.

We are in our late 40s. We have only been together a year though, I imagine it will cool off a bit in time (although I hope not).

TicketyBoo11 · 11/06/2022 13:11

Once a year, maybe..54, peri meno and libido has seriously nose dived..DH doesn’t find me as attractive as he used to so not massively interested or bothered and pressure from me means has affected his confidence, so to speak...I deserve everything I get, I dried up and went off sex hugely after my children were born. Priorities and poor communication. 25 years in and the situation is now reversed and I doubt we’ll ever recover. Hey Ho, I guess there’s other things to be thankful for….but you’re young and vibrant and shouldn’t be thinking like me..please don’t let the rot set in…it’s soul destroying..Live Life…🤘🏻😞

Spagnolia · 20/06/2022 18:35

3-4 times a week. @TicketyBoo11 don’t despair! My libido also nose- dived during peri menopause.
I’m now happily out the other side and on HRT and the sex is better than ever. No worries about children walking in or pregnancy and we’ve got more adventurous and open-minded. Both mid-fifties and together 25 years. A cock ring is fun and stops any concerns about performance :)

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 20/06/2022 21:56

F37 and M45, together 15 years, 4DCs. Probably about 4 times a week. We recently had a spell of 2 weeks without (I had Covid and felt like shit) it was nice to get back on the horse…it had felt like ages to us.

thedaysrunaway · 08/01/2023 00:08

M46, F50, together 21 years.

Once a year, probably less. Since first child was conceived 14 years ago we’ve barely had sex (maybe 40 times in total in 14 years with longest time without sex being about 2 years).
Multiple reasons though none health related. Both of us look good for our age and are pretty attractive. Mostly was terrible communication and years of built up anger at past indiscretions. We have everything we want and more except a genuinely full relationship. My wife has now gone through the menopause and any small flames of hope I once had for a sexual relationship seem well and truly extinguished. I doubt we’ll ever have much sex again. We do get on, are very well suited and are lucky to have a very comfortable life all of which is why we haven’t broken up.
Reason I post is don’t let this happen to you. Communicate early as it is very hard to fix when you go for years without sex. I know I’ll get to the end of my days and it will be a major regret. But I’ve been lucky to have had many other good things - at least that’s what I tell myself to keep me going.

Funberry · 08/01/2023 00:25

show off....;-)

Just kidding...and jealous.

Violet90 · 08/01/2023 08:54

I could not live in a sexless marriage long-term, it’s one of the most important things in a relationship for me.

Iloveabaconbutty · 08/01/2023 09:12

To answer OP's question I'm 56 and DW is 55. Married for 25 years. Have sex anything between 2-4 times weekly depending on how busy/tired we are, opportunities arising etc. We both have demanding jobs with long hours with some of our young adult kids still at home so domestically it's still demanding!

We try to keep a bit of variety although good old missionary position still a favourite despite the bad press as "boring" or "vanilla", we think it's great for relaxed intimate lovemaking, esp when were tired last thing at night. But other positions too from time to time. Also bringing each other off orally and anal sex every so often.

Sex I think has actually got better over the time as we know each others likes, moods etc and do our best to accommodate one another.

@thedaysrunaway that sounds awful. Clearly you know your own situation extremely well and have lived with for a while but is there nothing you can do? Couples counselling for eg.? You seem to be committed to staying together and at 47 and 50 you're actually still relatively young with potentially a lot of good, sex-filled years ahead of you. You sound as though you've given up.

And menopause doesn't have to signal the end of your sex lives. I realise that it can have a huge impact upon many women and it can be really tough but there are various possibilities to explore with a GP/health professional which can re-ignite the libido and help get your physical relationship back on track.

Hijinks75 · 08/01/2023 09:23

I’m sure everyone is different, if you are having sex every day but don’t enjoy it it’s no better than once a month that you do enjoy and for most it probably alters as things change in life, kids, jobs etc, ours went from daily or more in our early twenties gradually changing to probably once every three weeks now, I’d certainly like to get back to weekly but as it is is better than not at all

HarperHelper · 09/01/2023 07:05

Both 54 and usually every day. Some days we are too tired, other days it’s morning and night. DH loves to give maximum pleasure so I love sex. He also decided to get really buff in the last couple of years and now I find his body even more sexy as he has no fat and pecs for the first time. I also love that his arms are so solid with muscle, big turn on. He is crazy about me and always has been, he compliments me every day and is always saying how much he loves my body so all of that keeps me wanting to have sex. I am also on HRT and I feel like I’m in my 30s on it.

We had times in our marriage when our kids were very small when sex was down to once a week due to exhaustion. But we have always had an active sex life. Now our kids are older and young adults/teens we are constantly having sex 😂

Zanatdy · 09/01/2023 07:20

Well I’ve only been with my bf for 2 months so ours is everytime we see each other, very little sleep, long sessions! He’s the most considerate lover I’ve ever had (mid 40’s) and I’m benefiting from his experience in his youth! Non vanilla I’d say long term, enjoying experimenting and looking forward to what we try next. He turns me on so much and I hope I never get tired of wanting sex with him! We don’t see each other as often as we would like due to kids. But probably a good thing in some ways as I need time to recover inbetween! With my ex sex was over and done in 15 mins max, little foreplay, always missionary. Things can’t be more different now and I’m rediscovering sex in my later years

Jimboscott0115 · 11/01/2023 09:15

A couple of times a week generally but often that's because we don't really do quickies, both too into oral etc to fit much more in time wise.

lisalash · 12/01/2023 13:56

We had a baby 8 months ago so actual inter course has been off the menu for around a year.

But we've compromised and managed to fool around with foreplay and oral to satisfy ourselves until I'm ready to get back in the saddle.

Curiousguy · 12/01/2023 15:49

I'm 63, DW 53 - about twice a year these days ): . Used to be every day before the kids. DW has lost all sex drive since menopause.

Oopsiedaisyy · 12/01/2023 16:59

Both late 40s, both divorced because exes had lower sex drives amongst other reasons. Once or twice a day when together, and working to do a few things off the sexual bucket list, including clubs and stag and vixen.

Pandora984 · 29/01/2023 08:39

Oh my, I'm 38 and my partner is 40, I'm sure last year we only had sex maybe 5 times. This year so far it's been once. It's not looking good is it 😬

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