Could you be with someone who doesn't do oral sex

[namechanged9999]

My bf doesn't go down on me. He won't talk about why but I think he just doesn't like it. I've never had this issue before. My ex would eat me out after I came back from the gym without showering as would previous bfs. I thought something would change in the current one but a year down the line it hasn't and I wonder if I'm superficial for placing so much importance on it. I think it might be a deal breaker for me... I always give him head. Always always. There hasn't been a single time when I haven't gone down on him during sex and I think this is just unfair. He also comes every time whether it's oral or vaginal but I don't have vaginal orgasms so I basically never come unless I touch myself. He won't finger me either.

Could you be with someone like this?

Oral does nothing for me, but I couldn’t stay in a relationship where the sex wasn’t good for me, no. “Unfair” doesn’t come into it though: nobody has to reciprocate a sex act they don’t enjoy doing and it’s absolutely fine if he doesn’t like oral or fingering - but you need to find somebody else who does and he needs to find somebody else who also doesn’t.

Could I be with someone who doesn't offer oral? No, no and definitely no!

This is a converation matter before going to bed with someone. No oral, no entry, no exceptions.

It would be a deal-breaker for me, sex feels so much better with it.

It honestly doesn't matter if I could be with someone like this.

Can you? Is it a deal breaker for you? If so, does he know that?

Oral is very important for us both, we both love to give and receive
For me a total deal breaker and the same for Mrs F

It would be a dealbreaker for me. I have the best organisms from oral.

I do find it a bit strange he won't finger you either? Have you spoke to him about it? Is he inexperienced and that's why he doesn't touch you??

@lady725516

It would be a dealbreaker for me. I have the best organisms from oral.

I do find it a bit strange he won't finger you either? Have you spoke to him about it? Is he inexperienced and that's why he doesn't touch you??

I meant orgasm 😂

I wouldn't be with anyone who was so selfish in bed, he gets to orgasm but doesn't give a fuck whether you do. Throw this one back

I won't break up my marriage because of it, my wife won't give me oral because her first boyfriend forced her to do it so she's never done it since (many many years since).

But if we were ever to split up I wouldn't be with anyone who wouldn't do it.

I don't really enjoy oral sex that much. I'm over sensitive down there, I dont like the overly wet sensation and there's better ways for me to orgasm. So it is not something I'd miss. But having said that, the guys I've been with who don't like doing it are the ones who are prudish with all areas of sex and were crap in bed.

@StarlightLady how do you bring this up before sex? What if sex is spontaneous and you've not had a chance to discuss it

I could because I really dislike it being done to me - I don't think any guy I've done it with was doing it wrong but it gives me the 'ick'.

But the not fingering you either is a problem - he needs to engage with your body and give you pleasure as well!

@namechanged9999 - And l don’t name change on MN, there is a pre-sex conversation required, attitudes, condoms etc, it’s all part of that conversation. I need to know what l am giving consent for.

Sex is shared and l want to know what l am sharing.

He won't give you oral or finger you?! So he never makes you cum?

Hell no! I'd be sending him on his way pronto.

At this point in my life, no man has ever made me cum through oral..... unless I find someone who doesn't use my clit as a chew toy, I could do without it.

@namechanged9999

My bf doesn't go down on me. He won't talk about why but I think he just doesn't like it. I've never had this issue before. My ex would eat me out after I came back from the gym without showering as would previous bfs. I thought something would change in the current one but a year down the line it hasn't and I wonder if I'm superficial for placing so much importance on it. I think it might be a deal breaker for me... I always give him head. Always always. There hasn't been a single time when I haven't gone down on him during sex and I think this is just unfair. He also comes every time whether it's oral or vaginal but I don't have vaginal orgasms so I basically never come unless I touch myself. He won't finger me either.

Could you be with someone like this?

Seriously no... v selfish lover

@alittlefickle

At this point in my life, no man has ever made me cum through oral..... unless I find someone who doesn't use my clit as a chew toy, I could do without it.

But it's so good when done right!

Definitely a deal breaker. I love to give oral but I still want to receive!

Not bothered , I don't like it. Happy to give though (I'm female)

My girlfriend hates it and my ex also hated it! It’s my favourite thing to do and actually what I’m best at and I haven’t done it in about 8yrs!! Absolute agony 😪

I had a female partner who I wouldn't go down on because she lacked in feminine hygiene. OP mentions exes that went down on her after the gym. I guess some guys like the sweaty smell and taste, but I'm a bit of a clean fiend so couldn't go there! So, no offence to OP but are you bald/trimmed down there and using appropriate cleansing routines? I ask as to not do oral OR finger is very unusual isn't it??

@FlowersOfAldershot Or maybe some men are just lazy and only put their orgasm first.

Personally no as I enjoy it.

Why would you sleep with someone with poor hygiene in the first place? Also what does pubic hair have to do with it?

No, even more so if it is expected of you and not reciprocated.