First Vibrator for Wife

SparklingStars10 · 26/01/2022 16:15

If she prefers clitoral play to fingering then a magic wand would be your best bet. The womaniser is another clit stimulator but it also has a sucking motion, not all women like this though. A bullet could work but the vibration is quite powerful. It’s a simple case of trial and error because all women are different and what works for one, may not work for another. Or maybe you can ask her if there are any particular ones she likes.

Tal45 · 26/01/2022 16:23

I prefer a bullet to a magic wand or the womaniser type one - but agree with the pp that the vibration can be very/too powerful, I prefer it when the batteries run down a bit!
Are you sure she'll appreciate this as a 'surprise' present though?? I really think you need to talk to her before you spring this on her.

MrsGHarrison87 · 26/01/2022 18:31

The only vibrator I can come with is a rabbit but there are so many different kinds available and some are better than others. I think talking to her about it and letting her choose one based on what kind of stimulation she likes would be better than you choosing it and surprising her with it. I think for a first toy I would advise something that is focused on the clit, rather than just a dildo.

MissNothing1991 · 26/01/2022 20:15

@MrsGHarrison87

The only vibrator I can come with is a rabbit but there are so many different kinds available and some are better than others. I think talking to her about it and letting her choose one based on what kind of stimulation she likes would be better than you choosing it and surprising her with it. I think for a first toy I would advise something that is focused on the clit, rather than just a dildo.

Same for me to be honest. Rabbit all the way 😂

SueSaid · 26/01/2022 20:40

Why don't you just suggest she gets one? Tell her to Google Love Honey and have a look at what she fancies, your treat.

I bet she has had a sex toy before so I'm sure she'll have some ideas..

Lifeispassingby · 26/01/2022 21:27

Have you actually asked her if she would like one and if so what she would like?

PermanentTemporary · 26/01/2022 22:03

I'm hoping I've missed the bit where you have talked to her about this. What did she say about it?

For me, lube is essential for any vibrator use. Fingers are better with lube too but vibrators are impossible without it.

VanGoghsDog · 26/01/2022 22:06

What's this got to do with menopause?

Freddy12 · 26/01/2022 22:57

I would definitely talk with her first unless she has expressed strong interest she may suggest you use it on yourself in more colourful language
Maybe have a look together

LittleKitten1 · 26/01/2022 23:01

In Superdrug etc you can buy a vibrating cock ring for about a fiver. They don't last long, a couple of goes, but you could try it out during sex with her and see if she enjoys the sensation?
And if she does, suggest she (or you both) might try a vibrator toy.

I used one with my partner, then used it alone and discovered the magic..

Hawkins001 · 26/01/2022 23:23

@NeilP1975

Hi.

I'm hoping someone can help me. My wife is currently going through the menopause. I watched the Davina McCall documentary the other day and it gave me a lot to think about and consider.
One of the things that hadn't noticed before is that my wife doesn't have a vibrator, dildo, etc.
So I'm looking to get her a vibrator but I'm not entirely sure where to start. I did a little Googling but it's a bit of a minefield. I think I should start by getting her a bullet one, for clit stimulation. Whenever we've been playing with each other, me playing with her on the outside seems to give more pleasure than finger insertion. (Forgive me, I've no idea how to phrase this to a group of ladies!)
I'd be really grateful if any ladies on her could perhaps help me. What's the best first toy to get her?

Many thanks in advance.

I d recommend a magic wand, with the plug in version rather than battery one.

Original poster

NeilP1975 · 27/01/2022 16:41

Thank you all for your suggestions and observations.

She has never had a sex toy before. And it was after watching Davina's doc that she half jokingly mentioned that maybe I should get one for her. However it's not the first time she'd brought up getting a toy.

Going through the menopause has greatly affected our sex life. Frankly, it's become a rarity. Intercourse is non-existent. Once in a blue moon we'll start heavy petting but despite my best efforts it usually only leads to her stopping me and her masturbating me to completion. So I'm hoping that getting a sex toy may be helpful to her and in time may lead to us getting back to being more intimate with one another. And if our sex life starts up again I can stop masturbating like a teenager because I'm concerned that it's maybe becoming a problem.

OP posts:

SueSaid · 27/01/2022 18:16

Is sex painful if she is menopausal? If yes she needs oestrogen vaginal cream. It isn't systemic HRT it is a locally absorbed cream that reverses the effects that reduced oestrogen causes which can lead to painful sex and she obviously wouldn't be very keen if it was painful.

If it is that she won't need an examination she can get a prescription via a GP phone consultation.

VanGoghsDog · 27/01/2022 22:05

@NeilP1975

Thank you all for your suggestions and observations.

She has never had a sex toy before. And it was after watching Davina's doc that she half jokingly mentioned that maybe I should get one for her. However it's not the first time she'd brought up getting a toy.

Going through the menopause has greatly affected our sex life. Frankly, it's become a rarity. Intercourse is non-existent. Once in a blue moon we'll start heavy petting but despite my best efforts it usually only leads to her stopping me and her masturbating me to completion. So I'm hoping that getting a sex toy may be helpful to her and in time may lead to us getting back to being more intimate with one another. And if our sex life starts up again I can stop masturbating like a teenager because I'm concerned that it's maybe becoming a problem.

Has she seen her GP? HRT might be useful, the Davina prog was very good on that.

Does she think it's a problem? If she doesn't then it's not really up to you to try and solve a problem she doesn't think she has. But you need to talk to her, not buy it as a surprise. Id feel very pressured if my DH bought me a sex toy to try to get me more interested in sex.

spongebobscaredypants · 27/01/2022 22:54

Clone-a-Willie of love honey is good fun to do together

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 28/01/2022 20:12

I think it's a lovely gift to get.
That said I had a partner years ago who bought me a rabbit and then said he's chosen it as it was the same size as him. I then realised he had delusions of grandeur. I digress...
I think I'm a healthy relationship you should t need to ask a partner permission before buying them a sex toy! This just seems odd to me. Also she is clearly keen as she's mentioned it too.
We've got tonnes of sex toys, but the easiest ones are a bullet and one of the womaniser type ones with suction (I'm not sure the make, they come from Europe), which I can use during sex with each other. A bullet you can just get in Boots. The more expensive ones have lots of settings so it doesn't have to be so 'urgent'! And it's a good place to start.

VanGoghsDog · 29/01/2022 00:52

Luckily, no-one has said he needs to ask permission.

erinaceus · 29/01/2022 14:45

I don't think buying a sex toy with the aim of improving your sex life is the way to go in this situation. It makes more sense to separate the two ideas out.

I'm not saying you shouldn't buy her a sex toy but I do think you should talk to her about what kind of toy appeals to her to try rather than try to choose one with the help of Davina and an internet forum.

Her going off sex after the menopause, though, is probably a separate conversation. If the two of you agree that this is a problem there are a few things that can be done e.g. discuss with GP, maybe she needs some lubricant, something else.

Jane1978xx · 02/02/2022 10:59

Defo a magic wand. You can get attachments that turn it into different toys.

eve39 · 18/08/2022 13:22

I too had never owned a sex toy and I wouldn't have known where to begin buying one except for going on lovehoney but even then there's so much choice I wouldn't know what would be good for me. For our anniversary my partner bought me a self-love box from a brand called shespot which was amazing and they sent me a really high end vibrator, organic lube and lots of other luxury pampering products and it really wasn't expensive. A really nice gift for a woman I'd say

B1rd · 18/08/2022 17:29

Satisfyer pro 2. £27 from Amazon. So good that I own two just in case one dies mid play!

Twigletgirl27 · 18/08/2022 18:46

@B1rd oh yes!!!!!!! I'm now wondering if I need a second one, 'just in case'! Worth every penny, amazing toy

notlongtoo · 19/08/2022 15:16

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Namechangeforthis9 · 20/08/2022 10:23

In deciding...what type would she she prefer? The Womaniser type is purely for use on the clitoris and from what I understand extremely intense but good for someone that struggles to orgasm. The other type is the internal one so replicating a cock but with vibrations. Personally I enjoy my DH using an internal one on me which starts on my legs, vulva and clitoris and gradually he slides it inside. I find the vibrations inside and against my cervix extremely pleasurable.

tacobell42 · 20/08/2022 16:00

If it helps my DH has brought me many over the years, thinking it will be something to spice things up but I have not liked a single one. I then realised that it is the buzzing or thought of electricals down there. I now have a glass dildo and I love it. For use when he's not around and now I let him use it too on me. I use my clit stimulator on him but no where near me! lol Taken years of practice, talking listening and trying. I would buy her lube first if you are not already using it (not an all singing all dancing but water based simple to start) and then discuss it further. Keep talking.