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Original poster

Only ever one man

42 replies

marriedcouple · 02/10/2021 14:18

Hi , can a wife/mum at 43 love her hubby but crave an experience of another man just once?
Even tho she does truly love and totally adore her husband ? We met at 15 at school and dated and married at 23. I love and trust her 100% and I know we will grow older together and still love each other. We are not swingers or swappers or what ever else. Just a normal loving happy married couple with kids and life is good. She's asked me in bedroom talk about if I could ever let her do some thing with some one else just as a one time thing in her life time. She's an amazing woman an amazing mum and wife to and if I could have my time all over again with her then I would . . With bells on ! She's not even asking me in a demanding way or a threatening way either.. she's almost asking me in a loving way .. any advice please .. thank you

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Namechanged1010 · 02/10/2021 15:23

Yes it is possible but in reality doing that from within a loving relationship is really a recipe for disaster. The likelihood of it ending well and without you feeling jealous is unlikely.

Talk to her about what she feels is missing?

ChloBows1 · 02/10/2021 15:34

Same sexual partner for 15 years.
If I could then I would.

Kittykat93 · 02/10/2021 16:11

@Namechanged1010

Yes it is possible but in reality doing that from within a loving relationship is really a recipe for disaster. The likelihood of it ending well and without you feeling jealous is unlikely.

Talk to her about what she feels is missing?

I don't think there has to be anything 'missing'. We are not naturally monogamous creatures, I don't think it means you don't love a partner if you sometimes crave physical acts with a new person, it's just human nature. I for one adore my partner and we have a great sex life. Nothing is missing at all. Do I sometimes miss the newness and the thrill of a new partner?? Absolutely. Doesn't make me a monster.

Original poster
marriedcouple · 02/10/2021 16:26

KK93 ... would it make me less of a man ? Less of a hubby ?

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ChloBows1 · 02/10/2021 17:12

@marriedcouple

It should only happen if you’re 100% happy with it, if not, don’t do it.

Agree with Kittykat93.

IsItJustMeOrYou · 02/10/2021 17:50

Once the box is opened it can't be closed. I would say no. I am sure there are experiences that you have not had that you can share together

Kittykat93 · 02/10/2021 18:40

@marriedcouple

KK93 ... would it make me less of a man ? Less of a hubby ?

Well that depends on how it makes you feel. You don't seem okay with it so in all honesty I don't think it would go well if you allowed this to happen.

Original poster
marriedcouple · 02/10/2021 19:30

KK ... I'm scared of my own thoughts and feelings some times

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Original poster
marriedcouple · 02/10/2021 19:31

Sorry if I sound a bit pathetic or weak ... Bcas I'm so not

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User112 · 02/10/2021 21:30

It won’t be just once. She’ll crave until the newness wears off.

Original poster
marriedcouple · 02/10/2021 22:53

So I best say no then

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Original poster
marriedcouple · 03/10/2021 02:31

But I love her

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Namechanged1010 · 03/10/2021 04:28

@marriedcouple . Do you thinks she actually means it? Or is it more "fantasy talk" in bed? I ask as my DH and I are a very normal loving couple but he loves fantasy whispering when we are in bed playing, especially during foreplay and likes me whispering things including fantasies to him. I've got to the point where I love him doing it back to me but I know we won't enact them.

If she means it I would discuss in the cold light of day

Original poster
marriedcouple · 03/10/2021 12:15

[quote Namechanged1010]@marriedcouple . Do you thinks she actually means it? Or is it more "fantasy talk" in bed? I ask as my DH and I are a very normal loving couple but he loves fantasy whispering when we are in bed playing, especially during foreplay and likes me whispering things including fantasies to him. I've got to the point where I love him doing it back to me but I know we won't enact them.

If she means it I would discuss in the cold light of day[/quote]
I am soo glad this site is anonymous .. she's been saying this in the bedroom for about 3 years now ... and yes it does excite her beyond words. You know the time after making love and you hold each other ? It's a very sobering and loving time right ? She's asked me in that time .. but the strange thing is that I do not doubt her love either tho.. I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense x

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StarlightLady · 03/10/2021 12:41

She must be wondering how another person feels. But OP, what exactly do you feel? Pleased? Jealous?

I think it is likely to change the dynamics, but really don’t know whether for better or worse. But the whole situation is not one l can relate to. Only having sex with one person ever is not something l could get my head round or start to envisage. I’ve had more friendships on one holiday, let alone my whole life.

Original poster
marriedcouple · 03/10/2021 12:50

Can people talk one to one on here at all ?

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Original poster
marriedcouple · 03/10/2021 13:28

I feel embarrassed to say how I feel some times

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Ladywholoveswine · 03/10/2021 14:53

@marriedcouple No need to be embarrassed it’s an anonymous forum. It doesn’t really matter what we think, as we all have our own idea of what relationships should entail. Its how you feel about it that matters. If you’re not comfortable, tell her, there are many men that would not entertain the idea of their spouse having sex whilst in a committed relationship but there are men who have open relationships and include others and for them it’s ok.

Original poster
marriedcouple · 03/10/2021 14:56

I still feel embarrassed even tho it's anonymous

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Original poster
marriedcouple · 03/10/2021 14:58

Lady who loves wine can you message me or n Skype ?

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Jsku · 03/10/2021 18:38

Hey @marriedcouple - I think what you are embarrassed to say is that you feel the same way too.
And there is nothing wrong with that! You can love your W and wonder what sex with someone else feels like. This is exactly how she feels.

And I disagree with someone saying - once you open the door it’s hard to go back. It doesn’t work like that.
Sex is about more than PIV. Whatever sex she or the OP would have with other people won’t come close to what they have. The connection and intimacy won’t be there. It could be just a physical act.

And given that both of you are clearly curious about it - and given how strong your relationship is - why not experiment a bit?
It doesn’t even have to go as far as sex. You could just put yourself in a more sexual situation where there are other people and see how it feels.

OP - if you are in London - join KK. It’s a place where couples can meet and chat. Or come to a party - they have social mixes that doesn’t involve people actually having sex. And who knows - maybe you both decide you don’t want to do anything else. Or maybe you want to flirt a bit with others. Or kiss and stop at that. Or maybe you’ll decide to try being with other people just to know what it feels like.

Like others here - I can’t imagine being with just one person all my life and not wondering / wanting to try being with someone else. Even if the second with that one person is great. The curiosity won’t disappear, just because you want it to.

Original poster
marriedcouple · 04/10/2021 00:26

I don't feel the beef to sleep with any one rise .. but can I love my wife that much that id consider some thing ??

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user12123 · 04/10/2021 00:39

I have been with my DH since we were early teens and have been together for over 15 years and I have never/could never imagine being with someone else sexually. Of course I find others attractive but what we have is special and I love that we share this connection with only each other.

For me it would change the whole dynamics of our relationship and would change the way I would see DH if he wanted to sleep with someone else but everyone is different. I'd worry that it would consume you and you might not be able to move on from it but only you can know how you are feeling.

I wonder if it's just a fantasy she has and of course like anything else reality is never how it's built up in our head. I'd definitely be having a serious chat to see where her head is at.

Original poster
marriedcouple · 04/10/2021 00:41

Ok thank you. X

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Original poster
marriedcouple · 04/10/2021 01:58

She's never ever moaned about me or the kids ever ! She just gets on with it and deals with it ... im ashamed to ask .. can a guy love his wife that much ? Bcas I'm scared to admit that maybe I can

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